fuck this. I just cant do this... i mean. i cant take that your so fucking happy with him only days after you were so happy with me. its bullshit. i mean, you hated him. you didn't love him ever. he was a drain on your freedom and he frequently disregarded your feelings. threw around threats of desertion like it was nothing. and you, being constantly afraid of being abandoned, let him act any way he pleased.for 6 and a half months you gave up your life. and then you found me, and i presented a choice. freedom. someone who'd be there no matter what. id let you truly live, and id show you how to be happy. and you were. you were flying high, till he called. over and over. again and again. he'd cry, or yell curse you, or claim he loved you like no other. but all of that was deception. he did not love you. he loved having you to control. to be under his will. he never had to search for someone to give him his way. and because he loved that enough to come to your house to beg for it back, and call a hundred times crying, you let yourself believe that he loved you, you let yourself forget how he treated you. and now you claim to "love" him back. i have never seen such powerful words handled with less care. i was sooo good to you! even when you were first dating him, you talked to ME on the phone every night. saw ME everyday. told me how much better i was that him. and yet your back in the bitches arms. giving him what he wants. but its ok. i see how you stare at me from crossed the room. missing me. wondering what could've been. i see how you start to question yourself. and i know there will be a time, when you'll realize why you first left him. and you'll come crawling back into my bed. only to realize, that place id saved you, kept warm and safe, is now filled. and theres no room for you in this new order you have created. and you'll morn.
i am selfish u know, not worthy of the little talent i possess. surrounded by beauty my fingers ache to describe, and i give u tales of my sorrow. pathetic. i don't deserve the words i have. when u talk to me, u might not see my eyes. maybe somehow i blinked at the same time that u had ur eyes open. maybe u just weren't looking hard enough. maybe u just didn't notice. its not like there's anything there, its whats not there. lifeless, like some sort of life sized doll. i forgave, really i did. and i closed my eyes and held them shut as tight as i could trying to forget. but i can never be like i was before. like if u break something and superglue it back together. it will be back together, but ul always see that little crack where its it was broken, if u look hard enough. i am broken, a shell of my former self. and it shows. u can always tell if u look hard enough, in the right light, u can see the fractures. and just like that poor thing u broke, when u apply pressure, i start to crumble under the weight.
Read More
Add Comments
