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Flashes of memories - MUGABE MUST GO!!! ZIMBABWEANS NEED THEIR HOME BACK

 
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness - Carl Jung To be at one with God is to be at peace ... peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world. It lies within one's own soul. - Ralph Waldo Trine

Flashes of memories - December 2006

Is it easier to communicate on the web than in person?

How easy is it to sit down and write something in this little white box and click a button, sending your words shooting off around the world within a few seconds?
How easy is it to write something down, something you feel close to your heart and may not share with even your best friends, yet you can send it off in all its shining anonymity around the globe for all the world to see?
How much easier is it to do these things from the quiet solitude of your study, tucked away behind the screen with no prying eyes to watch your tears fall, hear your heart beat or listen as your laughter echoes through the walls



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The stars above

The stars above shine
Marking their eternal space in the sky
Like a thousand tiny peepholes

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Kid Speak

Recently I took my Godson to the Aquatic Centre. He is 4 and loves the water, you cannot get him out of it. They have all these slides and water toys and there are so many other kids there, it is an adventure for them.


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The joys of being a woman.

I was angry today. I was so angry that my teeth clenched tightly shut in my jaw and my fists locked into a ball so that my fingernails left little grooves in the palms of my hands. I felt a rock in my stomach that made my body feel heavy and sick and my shoulders sag in a slump that made me think, "This is why they ask if you are feeling down".

The day did not help either. It had started so well. It was beautiful. I love the word beautiful. It is simple and allows your lips to ripple as you say it. And then someone came along and messed it all up! Relying on people is one of the biggest misfortunes of life. As much as you say you do not rely on people there are times when you need them for things. When they let you down then you can see why some choose to live alone and shut themselves out from the world around


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It is Pina Colada time baby!

(If your Pina Colada looks like this you have done something wrong!)


The year is slowly winding its way down and coming to an end for the 27th time for me. 27 times the numbers on my clock have turned back to zero to start all over again and a fresh, clean slate presented like some great award at a fancy ceremony. Thoughts have been bouncing around excitedly - "What will you do with it? What colours will you choose to paint it with? What pictures will you put onto it to make your collage of life ever more beautiful?" And life is


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The Kindly Man....Pt 3

Four bodies walked down the aisle of the church to the front, each holding a red rose in their hand. People turned to stare at them as they passed, tuttering behind their fingers. They stood staring down at the man they loved, the mother inconsolable, the sisters and brother trying to hold her up, while going through their own emotions. Each took their turn to place the rose next to his face. They walked back to their seats and waited for the service to begin. The brother dashed outside, he had to hold it together. He had his cigarette while he forced his thoughts to cling in his mind. All they wanted to do was scatter out the sides of his ears and chase the emotions that were crowding the air.

He was half way up the aisle when he felt a small tug on the back of his jacket. He turned to see the young boy standing behind him and knelt down on one knee so he could look at him in the eyes. Those eyes were staring firm. They were purple underneath, bruised from the tears that had fallen. "I want to see my Dad." His voice was strong for one so young. For the past few days as his father lay in his hospital bed the boy had begged the people around him to take him to see his dad. None had paid any attention. What did this boy want with a man who he hardly knew and who was so sick? He was too young to understand


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The Kindly Man...Pt 2.

The Church was packed that day, people were spilling out of its wooden doors. Everyone had come to pay their respects to the Kindly Man. The family had decided on an open casket - he would have wanted it that way. He hated being closed up and trapped and he would have liked to have been included in the ceremony. He would not have liked the tears, he would have liked the walls to be bulging with the smiles of people and the laughter of children.

It had been the same old night except this one was wet and dark. The pub was full of its regulars and he sat in his same chair at the end of the bar. He liked it there, it gave him the room to study the crowd. He loved to people watch and analyse their behaviours. He loved to see people laugh. He loved to laugh


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The Kindly Man

His same seat was always occupied at the end of the bar, his body hunched slightly over the daily crossword in the newspaper. You could see the concentration in his wrinkled brow and it was probably the only time that his beer would sink down slowly. Not a day went by when he would not force himself to finish the puzzle, it had become an obsession. The regulars knew him as Kindly and always greeted him with a respectful smile. He was a tough man who had earned their admiration over the years and was well known in the area.

Upon closer inspection one could see a small scar on his left lower lip that had been put there by a swift hand from his father when he was a young boy. He did not like to think about those days as happy memories were few. However, as much as he did not like it he had inherited his fathers temper and it was this that was his downfall


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Where do you find inspiration?

As the sun came up this morning so I turned the last pages of 'Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Bronte. I have read it about 30 times. It takes me back to High School and Uni when I had to study its words carefully and analyse everything I read.

I used to take it all so seriously and not really read the words, but try to figure out the meanings behind them. Sometimes words are just words, they do not need any analysis and have to be deciphered, (something I really need to learn more of in 2007


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What was your favourite story as a child?

I went to watch the new cartoon "Happy Feet" this evening and what a laugh it was. Two hours sitting in the dark movie theatre and totally getting lost in the ice world of the penguins. (If you watch 'March of the Penguins' with Morgan Freeman narrating before you watch "Happy Feet", I think you will appreciate it that much more. They really have put a lot of research into this cartoon and there are loads of important messages in it that will probably go over the heads of the littlies, but I think is intended for the mums and dads who take them.)
So on the way home I was thinking about how I used to love stories when I was growing up. In fact how I have always loved stories - love stories, horror stories (ok maybe not these!), true life stories, whatever....getting lost in the pages of a book was what I did best. Long after the lights went out around the house and it was left for the night to consume I would read the latest adventures of Miss Drew as she solved some case or another, or that of some fantasy land where all dreams were possible. I have kept almost every one of my books from when I was young, they all made their sea voyage over in their boxes and will stand the test of time until their pages can be turned once more and enjoyed by some wild eyed and intrigued little pair of eyes.
I used to have a record collection of stories when I was younger too. I would sit for hours with the headphones plugged in and listen as Black Beauty raced through the night and Cinderella scrubbed the floors, but there was no other story that I loved more than that of 'Stone Soup'. I have not thought of that story in years until tonight. My grandmother would tell me that story all the time and my mum carried on the tradition. I do not know why I loved it so much, what made me choose it as my most favourite amongst piles of others. Was it the memories attached to the story? Or perhaps the idea of the Tramp sitting watching his lovely soup bubble and plop away in front of him caught my imagination


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What is your favourite time of day?



In our busy lives there is little time that we actually get to ourselves, however it is so important to take a few minutes out of each day that we can devote only to us, me, I, YOU!!!! I love the mornings. The sun rising slowly up to start the new day, the birds coming to life, squwaking their morning greetings to each other across the treetops, the ducks flying down, skimming across the water as they land and try and wrestle the bread away from the fish, the pelicans that drop by during the cooler winter months....I love it all


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Monday Night Movies: Christmas Movies

Well I know that I am a little early. It is still Christmas Eve and Santa is probably circling around the house now waiting for his milk and cookies (or if you live in Australia he is asking for S-T-E-A-K this year, according to 'Subway"!!!!). Christmas day is a little hectic for me so I thought I would get in there with the whole movie thing for tomorrow night.
I remember as a kid the TV was starting Christmas movies from late November. That whole build up to Christmas Day was a month of anticipation and excitement and every night I would see a film that would make my eyes glaze over and my imagination run wild. I am such a sucker for Christmas, I love everything about it (apart from the fact that it has been OVER-COMMECIALIZED!!!!). There is just something so magical about it.
For those of us who are Religious it is one of the most important days on the Christian calendar and I hope we all remember the true Christmas story as we wake to the day


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The laughing reflection

I once knew lady. She was an average lady, of average height and average shape and her face was averagely pretty. She had discovered nothing, invented nought nor done anything that would set her down in the history books. However, this average lady had a heart so big that its light shone from every part of her. It made her eyes twinkle and her laughter so warm you could feel the heat wash over your own body when you heard it. Her ears were always open to catch every word you spoke and her mouth only uttered words that would dance from her lips and carry all your troubles away.
One day that lady's heart broke. It shattered into a million pieces which errupted into the air and was carried away on the dark night's breeze. Her eyes stopped twinkling and her laughter became steely and forced. Her ears always listened though, they would never stop catching the words being flung around.
She looked in the mirror and her reflection laughed. It titled its head back and laughed so loud she thought the glass would break. Her fingers reached up to touch her wrinkled skin, skin that once so smooth and glowing with health. She touched her mouth, her lips cracked and red that used to be soft and delicate. She searched her eyes. They had lost their brightness and were circled in black shadows. She stared at them in the mirror, their depth having no end. She stared....and stared...and stared. She could not take her eyes of them


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The kids eyes

I remember standing at the exit of the train station. It had been a cold winter that year and the icy wind was making its way through all the gaps in my many layers. It had already been dark for hours, the train chugging its way through the night, its light pushing away the black. I stood against the wall, trying to melt into it to try and get out of the chilly air, but the bricks were just as cold. The yellow glow from the bulb above illuminated the steps ahead that led into the deserted car park. As soon as we arrived people jumped from the doors and rushed out to their cars or waiting cabs to hurry themselves away to the warmth of family and friends.
My head had been racing all week, the events that had passed seemed all like a blur now. Years of wanting and wondering had culminated in a harsh blow that scattered these thoughts to the skies. There was nothing to be done now, no one thing that could turn back that incessantly ticking clock of time. Now all that could happen was meetings like this, meetings that would be parts of a puzzle that would never have all its pieces.
I breathed out and watched as the smoke from my mouth disappeared into the dark air. My nose was starting to feel pink with the chill of the air. "Where are they? Did I get off at the wrong station?" A voice echoed in my head, it often did these days, going over the words that I would never forget


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Monday Night Movies - What is your favourite movie scene?

As it is Monday night and the dreaded start to a new week I decided to watch a movie tonight that would instil a sense of calm and relaxation. "Jerry Maguire" may seem like an odd choice, but it has my favourite movie scene in it. It only lasts a few seconds and is a really unintelligent and soppy Flash, but it will be a great one to base the dreams on. So here goes...
The scene is of Rene Zellweger stepping out onto the streetlight lit road, where Tom Cruise is waiting for her. (I used to be a big Tom Cruise fan, but he seems have gone a little dilly recently so will pretend that it is Andy Garcia instead!). And that is it! Those few seconds rate as the best movie scene for me. If you think I am a little dilly too, do yourself a favour and get the movie tonight and watch it. Plus the kids in it is SO cute and provides some good laughs too!
And for the blokes it is a sports movie, mostly, so you should be pretty happy with the choice too


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A pre-Christmas bash

Well it is nearly here people! Can you believe how quickly this year has gone??????? I still think I am thinking I am in the wrong month when I look at the calendar. Don`t even go down the road of organizing presents and food for the big day.....
So let`s just let our hair down and wizz up some Pina Colada`s and have a pre-Christmas bash - all are invited, dancing on the tables is warmly encouraged and fun is a definite necessity.........
We have our little band going on - anyone else who is able to join please do so, the louder the better, the more the merrier


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A QUestion of Rejection

Do you know what it is like to face rejection?
To stare at those glazed eyes and know they are lying?
Have you ever felt that churn in your stomach


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Has it happened to you?

I am have the quite regularly. Do you know those things that happen that aren`t quite what they seem? And no matter how you try to dig yourself out of the hole someone just keeps giving you a bigger shovel so you can dig yourself deeper?!
Well we have my cousin over for the Christmas holidays and he has his friend with him. Both guys are around my age and this morning I was I the laundry folding the clothes out of the dryer. There was that funny smell about – you know the one where you leave clothes in the washer too long and they get that horrible smell – and all I did was pick up a shirt – which happened to be my cousins friend and smell it. Well was this not the EXACT moment that he chose to come out of the shower and I am standing there smelling his clothes. He is notreally the quietest or shy person so then proceeded to tell the rest of the household about it. Naturally there is no smell in the laundry room now so my hole is so deep you can`t even see my head anymore!
So have you had these kind of moments? Or know of any of these


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What happened to Manners?

Ladies and Gentlemen...Manners has left the building!
I was out the other day with some friends and we were standing in line waiting for our food when this kid in front of us loudly said, "Gimme two of those and one of them". No please, no thank you, no nothing! The woman that was serving him was clearly older than he was by quite a few years which, in my books, immediately commands some respect.
I remember when I was at school we used to step out of the way when teachers or older people came our way. We lifted our hats, smiled and greeted the person with "Mr" or "Mrs". We opened doors for older people and allowed them to walk in first. And when I say older people I don`t mean the frail old lady with the walking frame or the rickety old man with the walking stick, I mean generally someone who is a few years older than you.
It just seems that it has become an acceptable practice to be rude these days. What happened to men not swearing in front of ladies? Now the girls have fouler mouths than the guys do. When ever do you see a man holding a door open for a lady or opening a car door for her to get in


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Anyone interested in a Sydney New Year?

I just saw the pics from the Christmas Party and had mentioned to Little Angry Doll I would be around for New Years in Sydney so is anyone interested in a Pre/Post New Years Orble Celebration there? I have no idea where would be a good choice, I will be staying on the Central Coast so basically anywhere is good for me. If someone could mention a good place to hold it and either we have some sort of identifying shirt ie all wear BLUE shirts or choose a logo (my sample would be:

Get it ORB: (crazy drawn orb shape) BILL (duck bill) ASH (my unsername pic - feel free to insert yours!)

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Do you suffer from 'be there moments'?

So do you? These can be quite embarassing at times I can assure you. For those of your who have no idea what these are allow me to explain:
You are sitting there, minding your own business when some little event will unfold before your eyes, when no one else is around, and you will find it hysterically funny. Then when you try and descibe said event to someone else, no matter how you say it, it just is not at all funny!
I have these regularly, probably because I have a rather bizarre sense of humour. When they happen I cannot control my laughter, my sides ache and tears stream down my face as I gasp for breath. I am happy to say that my brother has these too and whenever I see him we are bound to have many. I recently wrote about one we had on the train in Sydney. FOr some reason we were talking about Sydney Centrepoint Tower and him being the window washer. Now everyone else thought we were completely insane but we could not stop laughing about it. EVen now I chuckle as I write about it


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Introducing...the Monday Night Movie Club

So it is Monday, that dreaded start to the new week. Your eyes start to twitch and and your feet have trouble carrying you to the bathroom to get ready for the new week. You spend the day in a dream-like state, going over the weekend and starting the count down to Friday when it can start all over again.
By lunch time that little pub across the road is looking good, just a couple to get you through the rest of the day! However, you soldier on. Four o'clock arrives and you sit at your desk, watching as the hands of the clock drag their way around the face. Tick...tick...tick...tick...tick... it is agonizing. By quarter to five you are packed up, desk tidied and staring at the computer screen, pretending to be deeply concentrating on some work related complex issue. Well you are really concentrating on something complexing and work related, staring at the computer clock and wondering if it is broken. Those numbers are taking too long to click over.
Suddenly your feet find life, all the energy that you have been saving all day and you rush out the office, down to the car and wisk yourself away to your little haven that you call home


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What song sums up your life so far?

I was in the car tonight on the way home with the radio cranked up high singing away to "Chasing Cars" yet again (can you get enough of that song? I know I can`t!) and I suddenly thought I seem to have a song that relates to so many memories I have.
"Take that ribbon from your hair", "Tub-thumping", "A-la-la-la-la long","Kiss me", "Africa" ... the list goes on and it made me realise the importance of music in our lives.
An innocent thing like driving home and listening to the radio tonight led to so many Flashes of Memories I came home and immediatley set about making a CD with all these 'memory' songs on to listen to in the future


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Can you watch the same movie twice?

There is something about sitting in the dark movie house, the big screen in front of you and the darkness surrounding you while you sip away on your fake coke and munch on your stale popcorn! An excellent place for us who live with our heads in the clouds to visit now and again.
Last night I was getting ready for bed and started my little ritual of getting a DVD to put on before I went to bed. This has been my little relaxation time of the day, getting lost in some great movie or another. I seem to go through phases where I will watch the same one every night for a week and then a different one every night for a month. Even though I can practically rewrite the script on some movies there is still something really great about certain films. My sister cannot understand why I would want to watch the same movie more than once - "What is the point of watching something where you know, not only what will happen but even what they are going to say!?"
I went through a LONG period of Adam Sandler in "Big Daddy" and recently Joshua Jackson has caught my attention in "Shadows of the Sun


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Betrayal

Betrayal is a dirty monster isn`t it? Everything seems to be going so well and then it rears its ugly head from nowhere and you come crashing back down to reality with a thump. Somehow, not sure about all the techy stuff that goes with computers, but somehow I managed to get sent about 15 emails from someone I considered my best friend that she had been sending to other people moaning and bitching about me. Now I know that we have had our problems recently, but I was sure they were just due to the whole chaos of the time of year and so on and forth. But NO! It seems to be deeper than that! And what makes it even worse is that these people have said nothing about it, just carried on as normal and I would have gone on like a goose none the wiser to it all had it not been for this little malfunction in the internetting system.
So it got me to thinking about how to approach this little problem. What is the best way to deal with betrayal? To go in guns blazing and confront the person or leave it and see what else materializes? I would love to be able to carry on getting sent these emails so that I could see what else was being said and play a few games of my own, however I think that this little christmas present I just got is a one in a million and won`t happen again!
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The confusion of taps

We all know that water swirls down the drain in different directions depending on what hemisphere of the world you reside in, but why, when the majority of the worlds population are right handed, do they put the hot water tap on the left side of the basin?
Is this some environmentalists ploy to make you use less water - ie if the water is boiling hot you will use less of it? Of is it the plumbers revenge for those late night call outs and wreckage of their public holidays by knowing that at any given time, somewhere in the world, someone is burning the daylights out of their hand as they brush their teeth/wash their face/scrub their hands?!
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Where does the time go?

I got an email today from one of my High School teachers. I cannot believe that it was 9 years ago that I was sitting in her class learning about Jane Austen and Shakespeare. So many Flashes of Memories went through my head the whole of today as I went around my daily business and got mt to thinking about those 9 years and where they have disappeared to.
I spoke to my mum this afternoon and as she was talking I got to thinking about how different our lives were. When she was my age she was having her last child, I have not even thought about kids yet. At my age she had her own business, I have not even decided what I want to do yet. At my age she had been to two countries, I have travelled around the world. At my age she had not finished her High School education, I have a list of useless qualifications that I never use.
What defines success can be so different to two people you would think they were using a completely different word. So what is it tat makes you successful? Is it having the kids and the business and the education? Conforming to those societal unspoken laws of success or is it finding what makes you happy, no matter how long it takes? Living according to laws that challenge you and make you see the world from so many view points it makes you head spin and in doing so broadens your mind, so that yes! one day your brain does fall out


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Laughter is the best medicine

My brother and I, so I recently discovered, share the same disease. We cannot help laugh at the most ridiculous things and when I mean laugh I mean the whole pain in the stomach, tears running down your face, snorting laughter! We were on a family day out with some aunts and cousins who were visiting from Sydney and all of us were on the train talking about the Centrepoint Tower when my brother all of a sudden said he would want to be the window cleaner. For some totally absurd reason the two of us found this HILARIOUS, much the disgust of most of the other passengers on our carriage and the confusion of our family around us.
We have all heard that laughter is the best medicine and I can see why. When him and I are together we spend most of our time laughing and when I leave I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It seems like people have forgotten how to laugh these days, all caught up in the busy world. I remember my aunt saying to her mother one day in the car, "Mom what is that expression on those people`s faces?" and her reply was, "It`s called a smile dear!". She was someone who used to laugh from deep in her stomach, thrown her head back and her whole body would shake.
Who can forget the scene from Mary Poppins when the kids are taken to visit the man who laughs so much that it sends him floating to the top of the room? In the end they have to bring the tea table to the ceiling as they cannot get down - what a great way of showing the bouyancy of laughter


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Is it weird?

Is it a weird thing, to sit on the cooling sand
As the sun sinks slowly into the sea
And not have a partner to sit beside you


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To get ahead??

Millions of drops crowd together, surging forward
Pushing against one another, forcing their way ahead,
All with the same goal in mind


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