Fat Girl saves the world - by carliastar

Crazy insane or insane crazy? - Fat Girl saves the world

My own crusty bear

July 21st 2009 23:04

So I've been thinking for the better part of my night - about my personal insecurities...fueled by my friend.

Im usually, a brush it off kinda girl. But lately, this friend is constantly making herself feel better by constantly going on about my flaws - which are just that, MINE - not hers. I know I need to say something, I dont generally have such insecurity...but something has taken ahold in my mind, and I cant shake it. Its a desperate feeling

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Posted By: carliastar - Category: Crazy insane or insane crazy?

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Down with Self Sabotage!

July 5th 2009 23:41

I was in the shower earlier and I was washing my hair and considering my life. Im not about to go mills and boons on you here and describe my shower - just that's where I do my best thinking. I think its because its all very routine and relaxing and your mind is free to just roam...

Anyways. I was considering the latest of my failed attempts at establishing a relationship when I realised that I always let myself sabotage what I want. Every single time. I let work take over my life... I usually say "I dont have a life, I work" BUT I DO HAVE A LIFE! I HAVE MY LIFE! AND I AM IMPORTANT TO ME! AND IF I WANT THIS LIFE TO CONTINUE, I GOTTA TREAT ME BETTER! The strange this is... I was stunned to realise that I was truly able to think this rationally. To be able to see it. Finally

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Posted By: carliastar - Category: Crazy insane or insane crazy?

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Turn it up I never want to go home, I only want to be part of your breakdown...

August 15th 2007 05:58

I dunno where Im at...at the moment. Its actually probably the worst Ive felt here at work. And the only thing that comes to mind is...just quit. Walk away, give up on it and let someone else take over. Cos thats what everyone does here. Just leaves it for someone else to clean up, without consideration. Sad hey?

But then I feel guilty-er than before, and I cant help but get stressed, feel sick in the stomach and freak out about whatever...which leads to way late nights at work, driving all the way home to the coast and dragging my tired body back out of bed in time to get to work and start all over again

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Posted By: carliastar - Category: Crazy insane or insane crazy?

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Quick! In here...there's wax strips....

September 30th 2006 05:41

So I'm about to get myself in to tip top condition and go out to face public execution and the third degree. Why do I put myself into these situations? why do I stress, get excited, stress again and wind up coming home more confused then when I left? Yes, Im going home, back to the judgmental cess pool that is my home town.

I wonder why we do it to ourselves, worry about going home. Home is where the heart is, right? I mean, when Im where I live, I refer to home as where I grew up....when I get out there, I refer to home as where I live....am I a complete loser who doesnt know where her heart is? Seriousy, I think I have this gypsy blood, that doesnt want me to be tied down, kept in one place for any longer than I can stand. Im usually good at identifying my crap. Like, self diagnosing my own psychological fishizzle and dealing with it. Yet, I get anxious, every single time, and people, these are the people I love, who I grew up with, trusting them and hanging out, sharing and caring

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Posted By: carliastar - Category: Crazy insane or insane crazy?

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