suitably*woundedOn The Sorta-Acceptable Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chip Ship Lollipop
November 15th 2006 18:39
You tell I'm a bit over zealous by the title, huh?
That's 'cause today is an okay day. I actually got some sleep during the night. Who'd have thunk it? Because, you know, I'm usually worried about the apparent boogieman that's coming to steal my breath away, like from an episode of Buffy. Or something. And since I got my requisite 4 or 5 hours, I was up at a decent enough time to make a post on the same day as the time stamp. Woohoo! Snoopy happy dance indeed!!
So, you may ask, what happens when it's actually like this and I'm lucky for a change? Well, I figured I might as well share that too with y'all, just like I do for everything (read: the really shitty stuff) else. Without futher ado, here goes my interpretation ( ::: cues Weird Al's Polka Band ::: ) of....
There you have it. If anyone can tell I couldn't cook to save my life (that'd be a win-win situation, no?), I'd be completely and utterly freakin' surprised. Anyway, I believe anyone can mix this up and end up with a total mess. Just the way I like it. Save the bowl for me, because I forever love to lick the sides. Gooey.
Yeah, it may be kosher or peachy, take your pick, for a while. I'll wait and see what another moon, and then sunrise, we'll bring. However, I have all my body parts crossed, just like I do every time. Therefore, it makes it really hard to walk, let alone pee.
Peaces to everyone about to eat. I salute and bombard you with silly quasi-food! Bon appetite.
~Kemi, the pretend chef
That's 'cause today is an okay day. I actually got some sleep during the night. Who'd have thunk it? Because, you know, I'm usually worried about the apparent boogieman that's coming to steal my breath away, like from an episode of Buffy. Or something. And since I got my requisite 4 or 5 hours, I was up at a decent enough time to make a post on the same day as the time stamp. Woohoo! Snoopy happy dance indeed!!
::: chica bow bows and trips over too-large feet :::
So, you may ask, what happens when it's actually like this and I'm lucky for a change? Well, I figured I might as well share that too with y'all, just like I do for everything (read: the really shitty stuff) else. Without futher ado, here goes my interpretation ( ::: cues Weird Al's Polka Band ::: ) of....
Kemi's Half-Assed Decent Diem
Ingredients:
2 Cups -- Am I Sure Today Is Decent?
1 Tbs -- OK, A Slight Headache Doesn't Screw Anything Up
1 Qt -- Hope It Stays This Way
1 Oz -- Conversation With Mother To Discard
700 Tbs -- Puppy Kisses
1 1/2 -- Clarity
Panic Attack to Taste -- Sm.
3 Ts -- OCD (to flavor)
Skip Depression and Suicidal Ideation for a Different Recipe. 5 Lbs Agoraphobia used as Standard Base. Unfortunately this is necessary until the Recommended Replacement is available and the Temporary Measure has reached its Past Due Period.
Directions:
Mix together slowly in a small pan and let simmer for several hours. Then, once thoroughly combined, pour into a larger cake mold and allow to sit until firm. Once accomplished, glaze with a liberal amount of Positive Self-Talk and a slight sprinkling of A Glimpse of Better Tomorrows (Maybe Addition 476.0). Serve to hungry guest with a sprig of Happiness and a nice Daydream for Dessert.
I consistently suggest a frothy drink as an accompaniment, for instance a Cherry Possibly Rhinestone-Shiny Petite Future. With one of those cutesy umbrellas, too.
2 Cups -- Am I Sure Today Is Decent?
1 Tbs -- OK, A Slight Headache Doesn't Screw Anything Up
1 Qt -- Hope It Stays This Way
1 Oz -- Conversation With Mother To Discard
700 Tbs -- Puppy Kisses
1 1/2 -- Clarity
Panic Attack to Taste -- Sm.
3 Ts -- OCD (to flavor)
Skip Depression and Suicidal Ideation for a Different Recipe. 5 Lbs Agoraphobia used as Standard Base. Unfortunately this is necessary until the Recommended Replacement is available and the Temporary Measure has reached its Past Due Period.
Directions:
Mix together slowly in a small pan and let simmer for several hours. Then, once thoroughly combined, pour into a larger cake mold and allow to sit until firm. Once accomplished, glaze with a liberal amount of Positive Self-Talk and a slight sprinkling of A Glimpse of Better Tomorrows (Maybe Addition 476.0). Serve to hungry guest with a sprig of Happiness and a nice Daydream for Dessert.
I consistently suggest a frothy drink as an accompaniment, for instance a Cherry Possibly Rhinestone-Shiny Petite Future. With one of those cutesy umbrellas, too.
****************
There you have it. If anyone can tell I couldn't cook to save my life (that'd be a win-win situation, no?), I'd be completely and utterly freakin' surprised. Anyway, I believe anyone can mix this up and end up with a total mess. Just the way I like it. Save the bowl for me, because I forever love to lick the sides. Gooey.
Yeah, it may be kosher or peachy, take your pick, for a while. I'll wait and see what another moon, and then sunrise, we'll bring. However, I have all my body parts crossed, just like I do every time. Therefore, it makes it really hard to walk, let alone pee.
Peaces to everyone about to eat. I salute and bombard you with silly quasi-food! Bon appetite.
~Kemi, the pretend chef
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