Embarrassing memories of settling in Oz
March 26th 2008 00:49
Last December, my family and I celebrated our 20th anniversary in Australia. We arrived with very limited English with the expectation of seeing tall, lighter-skinned men and women living harmoniously with thousands of kangaroos bopping over a dry patch of land. Now, two decades later, I can barely speak Tagalog, now reading the journal I myself wrote back in the 6th grade requires a translator and going back to the Philippines for a visit means being stared at and branded a foreigner with lots of money to spend.
As my family and I reminisced about our move here – our fascination with the Sydney Harbour and traveling two hours to see it every Sunday, our 4pm obsession with hot chips and weekend picnics at every single dam or beach in NSW, I also found myself remembering some of the more embarrassing scenarios my family and I went through before finally being comfortable in calling ourselves Australian Citizens –
1. Taking the NO STANDING sign literally. My mum and I just didn’t understand the cavalier way Australians thwarted their own rules by remaining standing underneath that sign next to any bus stop, while she and I, wanting to become perfect Australian Citizen models, sat down on the curb.
2. My family and I not understanding the Australian accent through the cackling of the PA system on the train, telling us that the train terminated at Central Station. Even when everyone on the train filed out and my family and I were left on the carriage, we didn’t bat an eyelid. When the train moved backwards, in the direction of Redfern Station then stopped halfway through, we grew slightly alarmed. But it wasn’t until the driver himself went through the carriages and saw the six of us staring at him blankly and he patiently told us what had happened were we moved into action. It must have been a sight for the hundred or so people waiting at Central Station to see six people with their large plastic bags of picnic food trudging along the train tracks.
3. Attempting an Australian accent when voicing out my excuse as to why I didn’t do my homework – with very disastrous results. Not knowing the Australian colloquial term for ‘looking after’ my sister who had had an accident the day before and required me to look after her, thus, my neglected homework, I attempted to say ‘I had to cure my sister’. But it came out something like ‘Ay huhd toh coo may sista’. For the whole of sixth grade, I had to endure the teasings of my peers who kept asking me if I was ever successful in my attempt to ‘kill’ my sister.
4. Learning to ‘jig’ school on ‘mufty’ days where all students were required to dress up in whatever theme the school came up with. After wearing my staple party dress – a light green dress with tulips along the hem and puffed sleeves – five times in one semester, I learnt the art of hiding in the corner bush until all my family members left the house then sneaking in through the half-open window.
5. When a boy asked me if I wanted to go out with him in 6th grade, I asked him ‘out where?’ and when I realised ‘going out’ meant being boyfriend-girlfriend, proceeded to write the boy a long letter explaining why I couldn’t have a boyfriend until after I graduated from Uni.
6. Avoiding the Mothers’ meeting line after school because it was my dad picking me up, not my mum.
7. Thinking I’d learnt new but strange words like ‘deeah’, ‘khine’ and ‘tomahhtoeuws’ then realising they were just dear, cane and tomatoes.
I’m sure anyone who has moved to Australia, whether English-speaking or not, had to go through some adjustments to settle in. If you were one of these, what was your most embarrassing or most remarkable memory?
Well, what else should it mean?
1. Taking the NO STANDING sign literally. My mum and I just didn’t understand the cavalier way Australians thwarted their own rules by remaining standing underneath that sign next to any bus stop, while she and I, wanting to become perfect Australian Citizen models, sat down on the curb.
2. My family and I not understanding the Australian accent through the cackling of the PA system on the train, telling us that the train terminated at Central Station. Even when everyone on the train filed out and my family and I were left on the carriage, we didn’t bat an eyelid. When the train moved backwards, in the direction of Redfern Station then stopped halfway through, we grew slightly alarmed. But it wasn’t until the driver himself went through the carriages and saw the six of us staring at him blankly and he patiently told us what had happened were we moved into action. It must have been a sight for the hundred or so people waiting at Central Station to see six people with their large plastic bags of picnic food trudging along the train tracks.
3. Attempting an Australian accent when voicing out my excuse as to why I didn’t do my homework – with very disastrous results. Not knowing the Australian colloquial term for ‘looking after’ my sister who had had an accident the day before and required me to look after her, thus, my neglected homework, I attempted to say ‘I had to cure my sister’. But it came out something like ‘Ay huhd toh coo may sista’. For the whole of sixth grade, I had to endure the teasings of my peers who kept asking me if I was ever successful in my attempt to ‘kill’ my sister.
4. Learning to ‘jig’ school on ‘mufty’ days where all students were required to dress up in whatever theme the school came up with. After wearing my staple party dress – a light green dress with tulips along the hem and puffed sleeves – five times in one semester, I learnt the art of hiding in the corner bush until all my family members left the house then sneaking in through the half-open window.
5. When a boy asked me if I wanted to go out with him in 6th grade, I asked him ‘out where?’ and when I realised ‘going out’ meant being boyfriend-girlfriend, proceeded to write the boy a long letter explaining why I couldn’t have a boyfriend until after I graduated from Uni.
6. Avoiding the Mothers’ meeting line after school because it was my dad picking me up, not my mum.
7. Thinking I’d learnt new but strange words like ‘deeah’, ‘khine’ and ‘tomahhtoeuws’ then realising they were just dear, cane and tomatoes.
I’m sure anyone who has moved to Australia, whether English-speaking or not, had to go through some adjustments to settle in. If you were one of these, what was your most embarrassing or most remarkable memory?
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Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
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Do you remember the contents of that letter to that boy? That'd be a good read...
Ha! No Standing!
Comment by Louie
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Comment by Justicia
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Comment by Aimzster
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Louie, REALLY? OMG! See, it's not just the migrants after all!!
Justica, it's quite funny getting together with people who have moved to Australia. The stories are all hilarious!
Comment by Michaelie
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Mich
Comment by Aimzster
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Comment by Lara M
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I think anyone who first moved here would have had some problems with a lot of the Aussie 'slang'. It took me a while to understand 'Monday week...Tuesday week! etc...' ...and to ask what 'mufty' was
Comment by Hazel Castillo
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My dad however is trying to work there from time to time helping my cousins with their businesses and he's having a hard time understand what "chuck it in the bin" meant
I'm guessing Aimzster you're from the Philippines coz this is some story you'll find as funny.
I went there for a Media Conference my "Uni" or college sent us to together with about 15 other delegates. One afternoon we wanted to go to the mall, while me and some close friends had the luxury of a ride care of my cousins, the other delegates from our school weren't. Guess what? I saw them on the curb trying to flag down a bus en route!
We had to pull over and tell them -- we only do that in the Philippines.
Funniest thing ever! now that same person and I work on the same company owned and run by Americans ... i always have a grand time telling our bosses that incident
sorry couldn't resist telling that story
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I still get confused over all the different names Aussies have for things - like we call traffic lights robots - so when I give people directions and say 'Turn left at the robots' - they look at me like I just walked out of a space ship!
When I moved to the UK (first time overseas) I rang to get a number from directory enquiries. The woman picked up the phone and asked 'Name' so I proceeded to say 'Ash' (I gave my own name) ... 'erm.... I`m sorry we don`t have a listing for that' Thank goodness I was blushing on the other side of the phone!
Congrats on your 20 years - that`s quite a milestone!
Ash