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There will a brief interruption to the Rainbow Reporters normal service.
It’s that time of year again, when flowers burst into bloom, trees into leaf, birds into song, and my kidneys into stones.
Yes folk, those pesky little gravel quarries have been at it again, this time producing not one but three charming little buggers – sorry, calculi - around 8mm in diameter.
Three!! Enough for a set of earrings and a pendant!
But I’m a bit disappointed. Unfortunately the surgeons have decided that on this occasion they’ll leave the 2cm gallstone – which would have made a wonderful matching brooch – where it sits, growing slowly but inexorably larger.
I’ll have to think of something else for Mum’s Christmas present.
What? Well, she did once present me with her recently extracted gallstone – I thought I’d take it a stage further with mine.
“Don’t worry,” said the surgeon, “most people die WITH gallstones, not OF them. If it’s not bothering you, don’t bother it.”
“But I’d really rather get rid of the thing – can’t you just whip it out while you’re doing the other job? Can I get a bulk discount?”
“Weeeell, you see the trouble is, we’re very very careful people, surgeons, we have to be, ha ha, but even with the best will in the world sometimes things can go wrong – and if a gallstone op goes wrong, we’ve ruined the rest of your life. So I’d rather not. As I said. . . . “
“I know – if it’s not bothering me etc. etc.”
So – no brooch for Mum.
The next question is, exactly which op am I getting this time, please? The ultrasound treatment followed by a week peeing gravel, or the up-the-willy with a miniaturised excavator / handycam / lights / rubbish basket and haul the offenders out?
The latter. Do I want to stay awake and watch the procedure on the overhead telly? No I do not. Would I like the DVD afterwards? Er, maybe. . . . . .
Well you’ve all seen my dick from the outside folks, and it seemed to go down quite well, so here it is from the inside! Horny yet? No? Well, next, for all you golden shower queens, we’re heading into the bladder , before continuing on up to – oh look, quick, over there, isn’t that Raquel Welch in the white plastic bodysuit? Oh, sorry, wrong movie . . .
Maybe not the DVD.
Actually, the only thing is really want to know at this point is . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .when do I get the Oxycodone ?
So - into hossie tomorrow, out Saturday morning - then repeat next week. Fun eh? I'll keep you posted.
Let's grow old disgracefully!
Gaying the Gray
A slightly different kind of show for the first hour today, because instead of banging on about young queers as I usually do, this morning I’m looking at old dykes and poufs not unlike myself. We’re talking about being gay and grey.
With me in the studio I have two special guests - Deborah Peppard, who is hoping to build some GLBTI elder housing here in the city, or as near as she can get, and Dr Maree Farrow from Alzheimers Australia, which is today launching a paper on Alzheimers and the special needs of GLBTI sufferer.
Joining us on the line will be Adelaide Gerontologist Dr Jo Harrison, who is helping launch the paper, and advocates for mainstream aged-care services to become gay aware and gay friendly, and Dr Jude Comfort from Curtin University in WA, who is researching the treatment of GLBTI seniors in existing mainstream aged-care.
There are of course many possible options for when we get older, the main ones being: stay in our own homes as long as possible, with appropriate services to assist; move into a mainstream retirement living or care facility; or lastly, move into a retirement facility specifically set up for gays, lesbians and the rest of the alphabet.
Which would you choose? Do we need GLBTI specific places? Or is it better to put our efforts into educating the mainstream aged-care industry? SMS 0427 JOY 949 (0427 569 949) and let me know, to ask a question of my guests etc etc
As always between 10 and 11 I spend an hour with someone special. Today’s guest fits rather neatly with our theme. He recently retired, not that he seems to be any the less busy or active. Former gay and lesbian lobby co-convenor Ron Theile joins me at 10.
Andrew Potts has stories from the Sydney Star Observer - the world wide release of a roadmap for drug legalisation produced by the UK's Transform Drug Policy Foundation, which was sponsored here by the Australian Drug Law Reform Foundation and the release of the full results of the Thai HIV vaccine study
Cate the Green Renter returns to bring us up to date on how she’s doing with her 30-day vegan challenge, including a vegan dinner party, plus news of international buy nothing day and no spend Christmas, November planting & ethical gift giving.
Plus our regular look at the world of theatre with Will Conyers.
As always, feel free to join in, 0427 JOY 949. SMS 0427 569 949 . You can also Twitter @freshlydoug with any questions, comment about gray and gay, anytime during the show.
Kevin Rudd, Cardinal Pell, Jim Wallace - please copy
While it’s very proper and appropriate that native Australians and now the forgotten Australians have received an apology, it’s time the gay community had a few, too.
Especially from the Catholic Church, which has been flooding the public arena with disinformation and propaganda on the issue.
For months the Pope and his minions have been insisting that the church doesn’t have an issue with paedophile priests, it’s all the fault of those goddamned homosexuals.
Well now they are hoist with their own petard, as their own research proves it just isn’t true, as reported by AAP and numerous papers yesterday Really Long Link. Apology, please.
At the recent Senate hearing into Marriage Equality, representatives of the church stated that children must have a mum and dad and same-sex parents are worse. Wrong, as a recent senior British government advisor has said Really Long Link lesbians (and gay men) make BETTER parents. As every previous credible peer-reviewed study has found. Apology please.
There is a fair amount of junk science – mostly emanating from one Dr Paul Cameron in the US – that purports to show that we die sooner, make lousy parents, and are more likely to be crooks.
All of that has been comprehensively shown to be twisted propaganda cobbled together without a skerrick of truth Really Long Link and Really Long Link for the US ‘pro-family’ right wing extremist pseudo-Christian movement, yet the church and the Australian Christian Lobby quote this as if it were gospel. Apology please.
Within living memory - my memory - gays and lesbians have been imprisoned, subjected to medical tortures, separated from their loved ones, denied families and children, simply for being gay. Apology please.
Mr Rudd is due to address the Australian Christian Lobby on Saturday – perhaps he would be so kind as to ask for their apologies on our behalf – and add his own. Please.
It never ceases to amaze me that while individual Catholics are decent, humane and tolerant people (as numerous opinion surveys have shown), their leaders are a bunch of fuckwits.
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Fiona Patten - out to pinch Costello's seat
Well, Peter Costello has gone, Brendan Nelson has gone, there are byelections coming up in Bradfield and Higgins. The Labor Party aren’t standing in either because they are of course solid Liberal seats. But just how solid, I wonder
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image: mypieceoftail
Well, after last week’s column I received a barrage of comment, for most of which, thanks. The rest – you know who you are.
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Cripple chic
Melbourne during the racing season. The Hats! The Frocks! The Shoes! Especially the Shoes! What the hell are these things women put on their feet
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Ellen & Portia
It’s that time of year again, time to nominate the 25 allegedly most influential fags and dykes in Australia.
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Show me the money! (pic: Knox News)
Rupert Murdoch has been complaining of late that no-one will pay him for all the stuff he puts online. For once in my life, I sympathise with the Great Satan of Media. Three times in as many weeks I’ve been asked to work on websites, and none of them want to pay
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Every Thursday I now present Freshly Doug on Joy 94.9 from Nine till Noon. And this week we got some lively responses from listeners when I posed the following question
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Comment by Doug Pollard
on SHAMESHAME TOP 25 Part II
Current Affairs
Rainbow Reporter
An Australian psychology expert who has been studying emotions has found being grumpy makes us think more clearly. . . . . miserable people are better at decision-making and less gullible . . . . gloominess breeds attentiveness and careful thinking, Professor Joe Forgas told Australian Science Magazine.
He says a grumpy person can cope with more demanding situations than a happy one,
outperform those who are jolly, make fewer mistakes and are better communicators.
Professor Forgas said: " negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world."
His study also found they were better at stating their case through written arguments. Forgas said a "mildly negative mood may actually promote a more concrete, accommodative and ultimately more successful communication style".