DJ Dapto's Rant of the Week
July 29th 2008 04:30
Well lets not mess about and get straight into it this week. Cadel Evans is possibly the wierdest person I have ever seen represent Australia and his interviewing skills leave alot to be desired too. He is one very strange boy indeed.
Take for instance when he first donned the Yellow jersey. He said to his family and his mates back home to keep drinking the beer and champagne because he couldn't join them as he still had some work to do. WTF???
Well it seems old Cadel in true Australian spirit lobbed off early and forgot to do the rest of his job. Having picked up the Yellow jersey early on in the tour and holding on to it for a few days he relinquished it in true Aussie fashion with the finish line in sight. I'm not sure if this is true but apparently after listening to some great aussie rock and roll in the early stages of the tour he apparently took it on his own initiative to select his music but unfortunately with only a few stages to go he has slipped some Eric Clapton on the I-pod and had "Lay Down Sally" on a continuos loop.
Then said he was proud to finish second and that he would be back next year. Well Cadel old boy you might want to either learn to ride in the mountains or switch to team that can create the support you need. You may also wish to consider a career change to media liason officer for NRL players after I heard your other quip with a journalist who when he got a bit to close to Cadel's dog. Cadel told the journalist that if you touch my dog mate I'll slice your head off.............Seriously what is this guy on???????
Which leads me to my second subject for this week..........THE OLYMPICS
Now I know they aren't due to start for another 10 days or so but I am suggesting a new format for these games. Let them all take performance enhancing drugs!!!!!!
I personally think the Olympics goes on far to long. They have heats upon heats and then they have semi finals then a final. At least this way we would be able to speed up the process along the way. Imagine if all the heats of the 100 meters were run in around 5 seconds. The final could be over in just over 3 seconds and then move along to something else. The rowing would be over in just on a minute. The three day equestrian could be done in a day and don't get me started on the time a marathon could be run in. With the use of performance enhancing drugs. The possibilities are endless. I mean it might not be the best sight in sport to see an athlete trying to snort the lines on the track and field or to see half a race collapse and die after the cross the finish line but at least it would finally start to make this boring as batshit production interesting.
Next I would like to the medal tally truly reflect the correct total medals for a change. I would like to see them get the recognition they truly deserve. If Aust have the 8 best rowers in the world and they win a medal then we should be credited with 8 on the scoreboard. If it takes four of swimmers to beat everyone else then we should get a 4 on the overall. Now I know the purists out there will say DJ Dapto how can you place more weight on a relay than individual brilliance??? Well with great ease really.
When I was a promising young athlete for the Dapto Dishlickers the first lesson our coach Jock Adcock taught us was how important your team mates are to you and that nothing you ever achieve in life will be as satisfying and rewarding as having shared that experience with them. (Sadly I think Jock was on the Canterbury Bulldogs coaching staff when they visited Coffs Harbour)
Old Jock would be turning in his grave now looking down from that big old footy field in the sky watching the young athletes of today choosing personal glory ahead of of those who have dedicated themselves to 5 AM finishes from nights on the cans to forge a strong bond of team spirit to ensure that they will all pull together to do whatever it takes to make sure there team succeeds.
Moving on I would also like to see the introduction of a few new sports.
1) 10 M platform belly flopping - Instead of the technical correct diving I think this event is one that is just begging to be introduced plus if more than half the planet is obese then why aren't we encouraging these people to be olympians??? We should be out there encouraging them to be the fattest and best belly flopper from 10 M above the water (Proudly sponsered by McDonalds/KFC/HungryJacks/Piz zaHut).
It would also be an event that we would be able to provide a full team for given that we are a obese nation..........who apparently are now living longer and have more sex than ever
2) The Javelin Catch - don't look like that you know it would be funny.
3) Lightsabre Fencing - In full jedi dress and if you make it to the gold medal round each athlete would be required to dress as either Dath Vader or Obi Wan Kenobe (episode IV) as this laid the platform for all lightsabre fights for the rest of the series.
4) Water Polo - Make them ride horses so each competitor can avoid all that nasty underwater grappling and rough housing that goes on.
5) Rugby League - So Australia would be guaranteed of bringing home one gold meda or 17 in my new proposed system.
6) Cricket - Another guaranteed 11 medals for Oz.
7) Tag Team Greco Roman Wrstling - I think it was way the way the sport was meant to be before the purists stepped in and ruined it.
Finally I would like to see ther IOC encourage more celebrities like Madonna and Angelina to get involved and "purchase" or should I say "sponsor" an athlete from a third world nation. Not only would they save a fortune on the nappies and but in return they get a tax deduction and a quality athlete to baby sit the rest of the tribe.
Well I am about all ranted out this week but until we spray again remeber get up early and root for your team and if you get the chance root for someone elses if you can
Take for instance when he first donned the Yellow jersey. He said to his family and his mates back home to keep drinking the beer and champagne because he couldn't join them as he still had some work to do. WTF???
Well it seems old Cadel in true Australian spirit lobbed off early and forgot to do the rest of his job. Having picked up the Yellow jersey early on in the tour and holding on to it for a few days he relinquished it in true Aussie fashion with the finish line in sight. I'm not sure if this is true but apparently after listening to some great aussie rock and roll in the early stages of the tour he apparently took it on his own initiative to select his music but unfortunately with only a few stages to go he has slipped some Eric Clapton on the I-pod and had "Lay Down Sally" on a continuos loop.
Which leads me to my second subject for this week..........THE OLYMPICS
Now I know they aren't due to start for another 10 days or so but I am suggesting a new format for these games. Let them all take performance enhancing drugs!!!!!!
Next I would like to the medal tally truly reflect the correct total medals for a change. I would like to see them get the recognition they truly deserve. If Aust have the 8 best rowers in the world and they win a medal then we should be credited with 8 on the scoreboard. If it takes four of swimmers to beat everyone else then we should get a 4 on the overall. Now I know the purists out there will say DJ Dapto how can you place more weight on a relay than individual brilliance??? Well with great ease really.
When I was a promising young athlete for the Dapto Dishlickers the first lesson our coach Jock Adcock taught us was how important your team mates are to you and that nothing you ever achieve in life will be as satisfying and rewarding as having shared that experience with them. (Sadly I think Jock was on the Canterbury Bulldogs coaching staff when they visited Coffs Harbour)
Old Jock would be turning in his grave now looking down from that big old footy field in the sky watching the young athletes of today choosing personal glory ahead of of those who have dedicated themselves to 5 AM finishes from nights on the cans to forge a strong bond of team spirit to ensure that they will all pull together to do whatever it takes to make sure there team succeeds.
Moving on I would also like to see the introduction of a few new sports.
1) 10 M platform belly flopping - Instead of the technical correct diving I think this event is one that is just begging to be introduced plus if more than half the planet is obese then why aren't we encouraging these people to be olympians??? We should be out there encouraging them to be the fattest and best belly flopper from 10 M above the water (Proudly sponsered by McDonalds/KFC/HungryJacks/Piz zaHut).
It would also be an event that we would be able to provide a full team for given that we are a obese nation..........who apparently are now living longer and have more sex than ever
2) The Javelin Catch - don't look like that you know it would be funny.
3) Lightsabre Fencing - In full jedi dress and if you make it to the gold medal round each athlete would be required to dress as either Dath Vader or Obi Wan Kenobe (episode IV) as this laid the platform for all lightsabre fights for the rest of the series.
4) Water Polo - Make them ride horses so each competitor can avoid all that nasty underwater grappling and rough housing that goes on.
5) Rugby League - So Australia would be guaranteed of bringing home one gold meda or 17 in my new proposed system.
6) Cricket - Another guaranteed 11 medals for Oz.
7) Tag Team Greco Roman Wrstling - I think it was way the way the sport was meant to be before the purists stepped in and ruined it.
Finally I would like to see ther IOC encourage more celebrities like Madonna and Angelina to get involved and "purchase" or should I say "sponsor" an athlete from a third world nation. Not only would they save a fortune on the nappies and but in return they get a tax deduction and a quality athlete to baby sit the rest of the tribe.
Well I am about all ranted out this week but until we spray again remeber get up early and root for your team and if you get the chance root for someone elses if you can
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Comment by ChrisC
The Dissector
- and personally i say "yes we should!"
and yep id love to see a javelin catch!
Comment by Anonymous
I still believe that if you are an individual swimmer or runner that you get credited with one medal where as a hockey team would pick up 11 or part of the relay you'd get 4.
Would also like to say congratulations on the blogging frenzy your most recent topic has created. Full credit to you and the team who came up with that topic. I've never seen so many comments for one particular blog