Divorcing the Band
One of the hardest times in any bands career, is the time when one of the band members decides to leave the group. It is amazing to think that something that started out as simply as a few friends getting together to play and enjoy some music, turned into a huge fiasco of feelings, ideas and connections.
Seriously, if you have been in the game for more than a few years, than you have probably found yourself in this situation.
You have been with your band for some time now, and it has become apparent to you that either you are growing in a different direction than the band, or there are so more personal issues that are effecting the teamwork that is vital to the survival of your band.
What is ironic, is that it is usually a more personal problem than it is a problem about the music.
Three people show up on time, and one is always late. 2 people prefer to play one style of music, while 3 others like another style. One person likes to have control over the bands activities, and while two others are ok with that, one other doesn't like it.
It is complex and interesting to mull over if you ever get the chance.
When it comes down to the decision of leaving or staying with the band, it gets to be so bad, that is is more like 'Divorcing' the band.
Hurt feelings, mind games, ups, downs and everything in between.
Who gets to keep the rights to which songs, should the leaving member get credit on songs that stay with the band? Is there any equipment that was bought or soley owned by the leaving member?
Property splits, custody over friends time, and all sort of fight tend to insue over the time it takes for someone to divorce themselves from their band.
It is almost comic to hear the amount of reasons why someone leaves a band, or is pushed out of a band, but I can find nothing so close as to relate it to as a divorce.
What makes the theory a bit more comical, is that it would mean that you would have to be 'Married' to your band in order to be Divorced from it.
It must be true, because when you are in a band, they want to know if you have played or jammed with any other bands, if you are 'exclusive' with this band, or if there are any relationships that would get in the way of being in the band.
I have even found myself using the term 'Band Slut' on occassion when running into a musician who is in more then 2 bands. They have no real connections to the bands, but still play and join in on the shows and occassions with each band. There is nothing wrong with doing this, but it is still frowned upon by any band, and if you end up as a 'Band Slut', even if you are a really great person and musician, no one will take your seriously.
It becomes a relationship as bad as any other. Whats the difference? Generally, there is no sex involved. Unless your band has those strange connections.... In that case I'm not sure if theirs any help for you..
Take the time to think about how your band is inter-related.
Do you remember a time when you tried to divorce yourself from a band, or were pushed out of it? Or maybe you were part of a band that had a member leave or divorce themselves from it.
Do you remember the feelings and emotions your felt, or the thoughts that went through your head? They must have felt slightly strange to you, as you usually only have such feeling with someone you are intimate with.
Seriously, if you have been in the game for more than a few years, than you have probably found yourself in this situation.
You have been with your band for some time now, and it has become apparent to you that either you are growing in a different direction than the band, or there are so more personal issues that are effecting the teamwork that is vital to the survival of your band.
What is ironic, is that it is usually a more personal problem than it is a problem about the music.
Three people show up on time, and one is always late. 2 people prefer to play one style of music, while 3 others like another style. One person likes to have control over the bands activities, and while two others are ok with that, one other doesn't like it.
It is complex and interesting to mull over if you ever get the chance.
When it comes down to the decision of leaving or staying with the band, it gets to be so bad, that is is more like 'Divorcing' the band.
Hurt feelings, mind games, ups, downs and everything in between.
Who gets to keep the rights to which songs, should the leaving member get credit on songs that stay with the band? Is there any equipment that was bought or soley owned by the leaving member?
Property splits, custody over friends time, and all sort of fight tend to insue over the time it takes for someone to divorce themselves from their band.
It is almost comic to hear the amount of reasons why someone leaves a band, or is pushed out of a band, but I can find nothing so close as to relate it to as a divorce.
What makes the theory a bit more comical, is that it would mean that you would have to be 'Married' to your band in order to be Divorced from it.
It must be true, because when you are in a band, they want to know if you have played or jammed with any other bands, if you are 'exclusive' with this band, or if there are any relationships that would get in the way of being in the band.
I have even found myself using the term 'Band Slut' on occassion when running into a musician who is in more then 2 bands. They have no real connections to the bands, but still play and join in on the shows and occassions with each band. There is nothing wrong with doing this, but it is still frowned upon by any band, and if you end up as a 'Band Slut', even if you are a really great person and musician, no one will take your seriously.
It becomes a relationship as bad as any other. Whats the difference? Generally, there is no sex involved. Unless your band has those strange connections.... In that case I'm not sure if theirs any help for you..
Take the time to think about how your band is inter-related.
Do you remember a time when you tried to divorce yourself from a band, or were pushed out of it? Or maybe you were part of a band that had a member leave or divorce themselves from it.
Do you remember the feelings and emotions your felt, or the thoughts that went through your head? They must have felt slightly strange to you, as you usually only have such feeling with someone you are intimate with.
