Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Sites | Writers | Advertise | My Orble | Login

Did you hear the one about - by CarolineTigeress

How good it's going to be, honey

November 14th 2006 22:15

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?" The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil." The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"


"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as any first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again." "What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk. "That one was a Republican," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be."
46
Vote
   


John, the young strapping athletic sports teen was shooting hoops in the front yard. While doing a layup, he knocked himself silly against the backboard. He hit the ground with a smack.

When he opened his eyes, one of them was blurry.

"Damn, I knocked out a contact lens," he swore.

He searched up and down the concrete scouring the ground. He looked at the ball, the grass surrounding the yard, everywhere.

Sighing in frustraition, he went in to tell his mother.

"Mom, I lost one of my contact lenses," he explained. "I can't find it anywhere! I looked and looked and looked!"


She looked at him and went outside. She looked in the same places he said he did, and lo and behold, there was the lens. Carefully she picked it up and brought it to him.

"I don't get it. You did the same thing with my new tennis shoes the other day, and my Ipod last week. How do you do it?"

"It's real simple... I don't see your tennis shoes. I see a fifty dollar bill. I don't see your ipod, I see a hundred dollar bill...and I didn't see your contact lens... I saw a hundred and fifty bucks go down the drain..."
43
Vote
   


The World's Stupidest burglar

October 16th 2006 21:31
Seriously...

This guy was *so* dumb (how dumb was he...)

He broke into a church and stole TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS...in PLEDGES...

Got a world's stupidest burglar joke? let's hear it...
46
Vote
   


More Posts
1 Posts
2 Posts
3 Posts dating from October 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:

CarolineTigeress's Blogs

3422 Vote(s)
7 Comment(s)
68 Post(s)
699 Vote(s)
2 Comment(s)
23 Post(s)
297 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
7 Post(s)
848 Vote(s)
4 Comment(s)
23 Post(s)
Moderated by CarolineTigeress
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]