Stinky Dog Farts
June 19th 2007 17:24
Okay so its been one of them weeks when you just seem to screw everything up without trying, annoy the people close to you without thinking, the weekend comes and you dont even get that right...
You think to yourself, okay how much trouble can i really get into on the pc?
Realistically none, unless your a noob-turd and decide to click on a link for some stupid online game thats really a lure into other sordid crap... Then your spyware and anti virus alerts go pyscho and you realise your now knee deep in dogshit and all you did was click a stupid link thinking, ooooo a new game, I might try that!!
After scanning, deleting, quarrantining, for an hour you finally get rid of the nasty,
Woot... your now in a happy place again...
You are now sitting quietly reading some orbal posts, much more relaxed, drinking a coke snacking on some raisinets, and the dog crawls under your chair lies on your feet.. nothing new about that, he likes being where you are... he gets comfy, you kinda wiggle your feet a bit to have them settled for the new found weight now on them... and relax back into your reading and comfort zone....
Suddenly Out of the Blue ---- BAM!!!!!
it hits you like a mac truck... this stench... that not only burns the hell out of your nose but makes your eyes water, its that evil....
that the dog now even leaves his scene of his own crime, he cant even stand to be sniffing his now polluted putrid air...
You try to manouver yourself out of the chair quickly without breaking your neck or breaking the chair...and away from the killer cloud, but it almost floats with you, your gag reflex starts working its way out, your brain screaming "omg im gonna throw up- i swear i am... "
your mouth salivates in that bad way and you scramble for the door, and fling it open... Ahhhh FRESH AIR!!!
Its moments like these we often wonder several things..
A) Why the hell did we buy a bloody dog?
B) What the hell did the dog eat?
C) How do we bottle that and sell it too a novelty store?
D) Why didnt I stay in bed for the last week and why didnt we give the dog away to that little girl that fell in love with him at Petco that day?
Then he looks at you with that sad, doggy, puppy-dog eye thing and you completely forget about all of the above....
Apart from all the issues you already had that week the one thing that never lets anyone down is their pets, especially dogs, I mean seriously who the hell can say they have had a dog who hasnt farted that badly you thought your nose would never recooperate, and at the most inconvenient times..Bless them and their little nubby waggly lopped off tails..
Side Note: I have a 6 month Old Cocker Spaniel, apparently the stinkest farter ive ever encountered in my dog owning world..
Peace Out!
You think to yourself, okay how much trouble can i really get into on the pc?
Realistically none, unless your a noob-turd and decide to click on a link for some stupid online game thats really a lure into other sordid crap... Then your spyware and anti virus alerts go pyscho and you realise your now knee deep in dogshit and all you did was click a stupid link thinking, ooooo a new game, I might try that!!
After scanning, deleting, quarrantining, for an hour you finally get rid of the nasty,
Woot... your now in a happy place again...
You are now sitting quietly reading some orbal posts, much more relaxed, drinking a coke snacking on some raisinets, and the dog crawls under your chair lies on your feet.. nothing new about that, he likes being where you are... he gets comfy, you kinda wiggle your feet a bit to have them settled for the new found weight now on them... and relax back into your reading and comfort zone....
Suddenly Out of the Blue ---- BAM!!!!!
it hits you like a mac truck... this stench... that not only burns the hell out of your nose but makes your eyes water, its that evil....
that the dog now even leaves his scene of his own crime, he cant even stand to be sniffing his now polluted putrid air...
You try to manouver yourself out of the chair quickly without breaking your neck or breaking the chair...and away from the killer cloud, but it almost floats with you, your gag reflex starts working its way out, your brain screaming "omg im gonna throw up- i swear i am... "
your mouth salivates in that bad way and you scramble for the door, and fling it open... Ahhhh FRESH AIR!!!
Its moments like these we often wonder several things..
A) Why the hell did we buy a bloody dog?
B) What the hell did the dog eat?
C) How do we bottle that and sell it too a novelty store?
D) Why didnt I stay in bed for the last week and why didnt we give the dog away to that little girl that fell in love with him at Petco that day?
Then he looks at you with that sad, doggy, puppy-dog eye thing and you completely forget about all of the above....
Apart from all the issues you already had that week the one thing that never lets anyone down is their pets, especially dogs, I mean seriously who the hell can say they have had a dog who hasnt farted that badly you thought your nose would never recooperate, and at the most inconvenient times..Bless them and their little nubby waggly lopped off tails..
Side Note: I have a 6 month Old Cocker Spaniel, apparently the stinkest farter ive ever encountered in my dog owning world..
Peace Out!
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