Deciding on your life path
I was watching 'Under the Tuscan Sun' again last night for about the umpteenth time and a particular part seems to have lodged itself in my brain. For those of you who are familiar with the movie you will know the 'empty shell person' speech that Francis' friend gives her just before she hands her the tickets that whisk her off to Tuscany and change her life forever.
For those of you who don`t know the movie, basically Francis finds out that her husband is having an affair and ends up getting divorced. Ex and new wife love the house so buy Francis out of her share of it. Francis has drinks with her friends who are just about to go on a gay tour of Tuscany however, due to one of them falling pregnant, they cannot go and they cash in their tickets and give Francis the opportunity to go in their place.
The speech that her friend gives, very simply, runs along the lines of Francis being at a crossroads. Her friend warns her that she is in danger of becoming an 'empty shell person' - one of those people who you look at and think 'What happened to you?' She explains it that at some stage in each of their lives they had the choice in which direction they would move forward, and these ones choose never to recover, never to move forward, look forward or try to change their circumstances.
Which got me to thinking - how does one stop themselves from becoming one of those empty shell people if they don`t know... if you are standing at a crossroads and every single thing you try, you find that you come up against a brick wall or a dead end... if you don`t know what you want to do, where you want to go... how do you decide to choose something that will affect the rest of your life when you just don`t know if it`s going to lead down another one way street and further toward being that empty shell person?
So what do you do when you are at a crossroads? How do you make the big decisions in your life - the ones which you know will affect where you will be looking back at your memories from when you are old and grey? How many times must you perservere with something before you decide that it isn`t what you are meant to be doing? Taking a leap of faith in something that is the 'natural progression of life' just doesn`t cut it for some people...
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Enjoy the journey if nor the end of the ride.
katyzzz....these feelings are not easy to cope with. It is not just you.
Flick Wit
Tricky subject - unfortunately I'm not much help. I tend to change my modus operandi without rhyme of reason, one minute mashing myself to a wall without making any attempt to climb over it or turn around, next minute jumping all over the place like a damn flea.
Michaelie
Health and Beauty
Reality TV
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First Time Mum
PS. Sorry for such a long email.
Kalikapsychosis
However.....
Two of my friends once accused me of dwelling on the past. One I couldnt get through to at all, but the other understood with a startling clarity when I explained -
" Im not dwelling not particularly. I simply believe that at every turn at the time, I believed I took the right path. But then I end up in the same circumstances making the same hard choices, even if the face of it has changed. So I look back, I examine my choices, and try to figure out where I went wrong, why a choice that seemed so right was actually wrong"
At the moment, Im betraying just about everything I believe in. Im going against everything Ive ever done. Im well on the way to becoming an empty shell person. But I wont allow that to happen. Whether Im here ten days or ten years I'll never forget my goal, where I WANT to go. I will always strive for it. And considering the choices Ive made in the past and feeling the way I do, perhaps its good to go against my principles a bit!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Ah yeah I don`t expect life to be easy it`s so so frustrating that everything tends to fall to pieces just as it`s about to come to fruition.
It`s no worries though - there is always another plan on the horizon soon enough
Being more assertive is definitely something I plan on working on!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I hear ya! May as well just live for the moment and enjoy the scenery along the way - it seems it`s constantly changing so it makes for an interesting journey!
I love this movie!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Let is all out - as long as it may be!
O agree there are things in life such as family and spouses that make it all worth while. I just sometimes wonder about the purpose of it all though - there just seems to be something so much bigger out there... it`s like having an insatiable thirst!
Thanks for sharing
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I don`t think you run the risk of being an empty shell person - you have too much spirit for that to happen.
I expect that we find ourselves in dischord when we are not living true to who we are - it`s just finding who we are that is the difficult thing!
Ash
Rugby World Cup 2007
A powerful and poignant post and one I don't know how to relate to. That's okay though yes?...one does not have to experience to feel. Well not always.
Hmmm...that sounds a bit...arrogant. Sorry...that's not what I mean to convey. It's just that I have never felt at a loss, which is not to say that I know exactly where I'm going...it's just that I tend to go with the flow and I push the flow along and in the direction I'd like to go. Or make lemonade out of lemons.
Cripes. That just reads all wrong.
I don't know...right or wrong...any decision made at the time it was made (huh?) was the one that was meant to be made.
Just as long as you don't cut the wrong wire. And if you do...life goes on.
I swear I haven't touched a drop of alcohol!
Big hugs hon...
Dusk
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
hahahaha! don`t worry it confuses me too! I think I have figured it out.
But I just feel like every time I make a plan everything falls apart at the last minute. Now I have a clean slate ahead of me - everything that was supposed to take place next year has caved.... once again. As you say whatever plans happen at the time is what is meant to happen - so I guess all the things that I have planned are not supposed to happen.
Only time will tell - as the saying goes!
Your spirit always brings a smile to my face... and a lot of what you say sinks into this dense skull of mine
Hope you are well. Watching the game this weekend?? ooooohhhh that was a low blow - I apologise!
GO THE BOKS!
luffs
Ash
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
When I am at a crossroads I do one or all of the following:
a. Flip a coin
b. Have a Drink
c. Run
d. Sleep it off
e. Write out the costs and benefits and make a decision
f. If plan a doesn't work try plan b, then c, then d
g. Don't do a damn thing....(that is a decsion btw)
And I am not even kidding or being a smart ass....I am dead serious ;0)
Mis
Great post!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
ha~ now that`s a list I like! I just flipped the coin and I`m LOVING the answer! You only live once right?
But that`s a great list - I love your thinking there and I reckon that I`ll adopt that idea!
Ash
What's Your Story?
Big Day Plunge
P.S. I LOVE that movie! Makes me want to move to Tuscany.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I hear you! When you are passionate about something you tend to view it in a different light as opposed to something which you simply feel obliged to do.
it`s also one of my movie favourites
Ash