Dealing with the pain and the emotion
November 15th 2008 02:12
Waking up from Surgery was like nothing I had ever experienced. I had my tonsils removed when I was 20. Nothing can prepare you for the pain you feel the moment you realized you lived through it. In that moment the emotions I was feeling were so powefull, so strong. The pain was more than I could have imagined. I remember my husband came close to me and I was so scared he wanted to touch me. I remember yelling "Don't touch me!" When I came out of surgery I had not been given anything for pain. even after waking up nothing was given to me. I had to wait for a pain pump to be hooked up. I don't remember a lot from those first hours after I came out of surgery. just the pain and the releif that I did wake up. I slept for the rest of that day or night whatever it was and the next day drifted in and out of sleep. the incision was from just below my breast bone to just below my belly button. it was not a small incision. i had staples 39 or 40 staples in my stomch and 10 in my leg. the tumor was connected to a vein in my stomach so to remove it they had to do a vein graph from my leg.
when I went into surgery I was a size 18 / 20 with all the fluid in my body I was MUCH larger than that. I could hardly move my fingers and my body was so stiff. I had to have blood transfusions, a cold process and when you have a male nurse who does not care about his patients it makes it even harder to deal with. I found myself praying alot for God to help me. I cried alot for someone to stay with me. when my parents and my husband would leave me for the night I cried. I didn't want to be alone!
I had a small TV that was on an arm that would allow it to sit in front of me in bed. I would trun it to a channel that played music all night and I would listn to the music. I found when I would do that I could relax and sleep. all i wanted was to get better and go home, thats all I wanted!
I had a small TV that was on an arm that would allow it to sit in front of me in bed. I would trun it to a channel that played music all night and I would listn to the music. I found when I would do that I could relax and sleep. all i wanted was to get better and go home, thats all I wanted!
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