Not Many, If Any
September 27th 2007 15:30
There is a lot of debate with couples (being single, i'm an expert on such things) about when the right time to have 'the talk' is. No, no, forget marriage. I'm talking the 'how many people have you slept with?' discussion. It's a bold move. Many a rash men have made the fatal decision to embark down such paths. Utterly unprepared for what they may uncover. Nath, my dear friend, is one such man.
Over another coffee session tonight (fuck off, we like coffee), Nath happened to mention that the stat talk had been covered. And the results?
"Only ten people," was his girlfriends response.
Straight away i managed to spot quite a few problems:
a) Given that Nath finds meeting girls harder then picking his nose with his pinkie toe, her number was bigger than his.
b) Given what an utter whorebag his girlfriend is, she's clearly lying and the figure is closer to 30.
c) Given that she used the word 'only', she obviously perceives 10 as a small figure. Whorebag.
Nath admitted he'd felt somewhat inadequate after the discussion, even confessing that he was sure his "dick looked smaller when i checked on it later." We didn't want to go into why he was checking on his dick like he was its fuckin timekeeper, and due to this new size crisis we figured it was best not to tell him his girlfriend was a slut. The last thing we wanted was for his cock to shrivel so far back that it was swallowed whole by his ballsack. Trust me, Nath's that kind of a guy.
We decided that ultimately, it would be best for your partner to have slept with a few (literally. three is enough) people. First timers can get clingy and breakups usually get messy. But you definitely don't want your partner to have been with more people than you. Sure its cute when you call her your foxy little sex panther. But it's not that cute when you find out she's been earning that title for years. And not with you!
Nor is it cute when your mate mentions (over coffee of course) that he's developed a nasty rash, which coincidentally is also festering down your pants. Not so charming when you find out your both rooting the same girl. And in essence, rooting each other.
I know any female readers are probably scrunching their nose up at this post. But I'm not bias, it swings both ways, no girl wants her boyfriend to have slept with hundreds of people. Unless she's the perfect woman.
So the question raised her is "How many is too many??"
Not Many, If Any.
Over another coffee session tonight (fuck off, we like coffee), Nath happened to mention that the stat talk had been covered. And the results?
"Only ten people," was his girlfriends response.
Straight away i managed to spot quite a few problems:
a) Given that Nath finds meeting girls harder then picking his nose with his pinkie toe, her number was bigger than his.
b) Given what an utter whorebag his girlfriend is, she's clearly lying and the figure is closer to 30.
c) Given that she used the word 'only', she obviously perceives 10 as a small figure. Whorebag.
Nath admitted he'd felt somewhat inadequate after the discussion, even confessing that he was sure his "dick looked smaller when i checked on it later." We didn't want to go into why he was checking on his dick like he was its fuckin timekeeper, and due to this new size crisis we figured it was best not to tell him his girlfriend was a slut. The last thing we wanted was for his cock to shrivel so far back that it was swallowed whole by his ballsack. Trust me, Nath's that kind of a guy.
We decided that ultimately, it would be best for your partner to have slept with a few (literally. three is enough) people. First timers can get clingy and breakups usually get messy. But you definitely don't want your partner to have been with more people than you. Sure its cute when you call her your foxy little sex panther. But it's not that cute when you find out she's been earning that title for years. And not with you!
Nor is it cute when your mate mentions (over coffee of course) that he's developed a nasty rash, which coincidentally is also festering down your pants. Not so charming when you find out your both rooting the same girl. And in essence, rooting each other.
I know any female readers are probably scrunching their nose up at this post. But I'm not bias, it swings both ways, no girl wants her boyfriend to have slept with hundreds of people. Unless she's the perfect woman.
So the question raised her is "How many is too many??"
Not Many, If Any.
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