Central Valley, California, UNITED STATES
Joined November 12th 2010
Recent PostsChoc full of liesApril 1st 2012 02:16
MAMA: Did you eat chocolate before lunch after I told you to stay out of the candy? JAKE: NuhMmmbbuh cnnd MAMA: I can't understand you. It sounds like you're trying to lie in another language. JAKE: <gulp> I don't have any candy. MAMA: I have this feeling that's not true. Just a hunch. 3-29-2011
 Cretaceous ProcrastinationMarch 28th 2012 02:17
MAMA: Jaaaake! Are you dressed? JAKE: Yes, Mommy. MAMA: You're dressed and ready for school? You've brushed your teeth and everything? JAKE: Uh huh. MAMA: You're sure you're not playing with toys in your pajamas when you're supposed to be getting ready for school? JAKE: Uh...what? 3-28-2012
Glasses karmaMarch 20th 2012 15:55
I distinctly remember, when I was a kid, throwing a pair of eyeglasses out the car window on the Dan Ryan Expressway. I have no idea what possessed me. I had no particular hostility toward my glasses, which weren't new. I've worn them all my life. I think I must have just been bored or something. My mother saw it in the rear view mirror and was horrified, of course. Glasses are expensive, after all, not to mention I kind of needed them to see. She pulled over to the shoulder of the freeway and beat the crap out of me in front of G-d and all of Chicago commuterdom. Needless to say, I never did that again. Alas, the beating, alone, was not enough to satisfy the karma owed to the universe, which patiently waited for my own turn at motherhood. These are Jake's glasses after a tantrum last night. I was able to get the lens back in with some Superglue, but the frames were beyond redemption. Fine. Are we even, now? 3-20-2012.
Polo with a fringe on bottomMarch 6th 2012 03:18
Open your mouth!February 6th 2012 04:03
Come back here lil man! There's no way you could have chewed a pill that fast. You think I don't know the old spit the nasty medicine out when nobody's looking trick? Honey I've done it all. I know your moves before you've even devised a plan. Here's another one and you stand here this time until I see you chew it up and swallow it. Open your mouth. Wider. Now lift your tongue. I know that one, too
Flipping outFebruary 1st 2012 03:05
AimlessnessJanuary 24th 2012 02:48
High ArtDecember 22nd 2011 21:31
You are looking at this strange image and thinking, what the heck is THAT
Parade of liesDecember 17th 2011 21:31
Spewing hostilityNovember 4th 2011 04:31
For spitting on his sister at the supermarket. Admittedly she was in a foul mood and made for rather unpleasant company, but still
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