Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Sites | Writers | Advertise | My Orble | Login

Cop it Sweet - by Andy 2

 
I moved to the country to face my fear of widths. Driven nearly insane by overwhelming panoramaphobia,by day I am forced to huddle in a narrow corridor, furiously typing with my lobster-like hands. Don't pity me. I am happy to be whomever I am.

Scientists call for new Epoch

February 4th 2008 04:20

A HEATED scientific row is brewing as British geoscientists lead a push to establish a new chapter in the history of Earth - one based on human activity.

Led by geologist Jan Zalasiewicz, of the University of Leicester, the rabble-rousers argue that changes wrought since the Industrial Revolution 200 years ago are so profound they are now visible in the physical and living fabric of the planet.


As a result, they have called for the creation of a new Epoch in the official geological time scale, one they have named the Anthropocene.

Along with Eons, Eras, Periods and Ages, Epochs are classifications of Earth history based on characteristic changes in the layers, or strata, of rocks.

Writing in the latest issue of GSA Today, a publication of the Geological Society of America, Dr Zalasiewicz and 20 like-minded experts claim there is "sufficient evidence" of human-induced changes to plants, animals, oceans and lands to warrant recognition of the Anthropocene by the official geological time lords, the International Commission on Stratigraphy. Their proposal came at the same time as the American Geophysical Union at the weekend released its updated position on climate change.

As the AGU represents the largest society of Earth and space scientists, the statement lent weight to the case for the Anthropocene. In its position, posted online, the AGU says: "The Earth's climate is now clearly out of balance and is warming. With climate change ... the human footprint on Earth is apparent."


Detailed scientific arguments for designation of the Anthropocene are expected to be thrashed out in August at the 33rd International Geological Congress meeting in Oslo, Norway.

"I'll be there," said Jim Gehling, a geologist with the South Australian Museum in Adelaide.

And he'll be barracking against the new Epoch.

"This is just the vanity of the human species ... it matters to us but is irrelevant to the planet," Dr Gehling said.

"We don't need a geological Epoch to describe a single historical event, however long- or short-lasting it might be."

In contrast, Dr Gehling was part of a group that successfully called for establishment of the Ediacaran Period, that signalled the origin of complex life forms 635 million years ago.

As revealed by The Australian in 2003, the Ediacaran was the first change to the geological time scale in 120 years and was based on Australian rocks.

While Dr Gehling disputed the need for the Anthropocene, geologist Richard Alley of Pensylvania State University told the ScienceNow online site that the case had merit: “In land, water, air, ice and ecosystems the human impact is clear, large and growing.

“A geologist from the far distant future almost surely would drarw a new line, and begin using a new name where and when our impacts show up,” Professor Alley said.
62
Vote
   


Swooping Magpies of DEATH!

January 18th 2008 22:23


I don’t really have anything against birds, I’m just not that into them. The feathered kind, that is. Most of the time, I hardly notice them, unless I’m eating one of them. I have recently been forced to pay more attention to our feathered friends, after buying myself a fairly flash new mountain bike. To combat the boredom that defines most of my spare time in Wangaratta, I thought I would explore the surrounds on two wheels. It has been an excellent investment, and I have enthusiastically embraced the pleasure and fulfilment that mounting a piece of machinery can bring. There are some great tracks to be followed, especially the rail trail that links up most of the little towns in the area. Getting to work now takes about 1 ¼ of the time and I can carry my fishing rod and get to a secluded little fishing hole after work pretty quick.

It was all going pretty well actually, until Spring came around and the Magpies started getting all defensive about their nests. I found myself being bombarded by wing flapping assassins. The first surprise attack happened on the way home from work one afternoon. I was pedalling away with my headphones on, minding my own business when I felt a knock to the side of my helmet. Perplexed, I looked around. I immediately assumed it was one of Wangaratta’s many charmingly antisocial teens tossing rocks at passers by, probably spurred on by his drunk but supportive parents.

There were no dull eyed local yokels about, or they were doing a better job of hiding than usual. Suddenly another clacking knock flicked into my helmet, and I whirled my head to see an angry black and white bird hovering just above my head, preparing for another bombardment. The suddenness of the attack and the


I have nothing against feathered creatures, I enjoy their melodic twittering when I have my breakfast in the morning, I saw a doco about penguins once and I've wistfully watched an eagle sore, envious of the freedom that self-propelled aviation must provide.

Until recently, birds have occupied another dimension to me; the airy ether above is their domain, while I remain a citizen of solid earth, and we generally keep our distance. Until recently, our worlds have never collided.

I had heard of swooping birds before, but had always thought of it as a harmless inconvenience, a myth told by aviaphobes to scare wandering children. Until one day, as I was riding peacefully to work I WAS ATTACKED BY A FEROCIOUS SWOOPING PECKING DEMON FROM ON HIGH!!!

From out of nowhere a black and white squawking menace winged down and savaged my brow, viciously pecking at my head, desperately trying to puncture my eyeball and feast on the vile jelly within! This was no mere magpie. It was a denizen of Hades, a winged monster, a Valkyrie hell-bent on my immediate demise, or at the very least, permanent facial disfiguration.

On that day I had my headphones in, a vulnerability noted by the cunning spy in the sky. The crafty bombardier angled its flight to be invisible, knowing I couldn't hear the first approach. Being school holidays at the time, I at first thought I was under attack from one of Wangaratta's many bored and destructive delinquents. When the first blow struck my helmet I looked around, expecting to see some 13 year old street-tough, defiantly laughing at me and arming himself with another pebble. There was no one to be seen. I scanned the street up and down and then, out of the corner of my eye, I detected a black and white blur. I glanced upward and BAM! - I copped a savage beaking to the face.

I pedaled off with the areal attacker inches from my head, repeatedly peck, peck pecking at my skull. I sought refuge in a pedestrian underpass, and thankfully I was free . . .for the moment. As my racing heartbeat slowed, I inched my bike out from under the tunnel and sped home, slamming the door on arrival and heading straight for the hard liquor. I breathlessly relayed the incident to my uncaring housemate, who laughed at me and accused me of exageration. Not even the livid scratches on my delicate brow could earn any sympathy from that heartless spartan. The following morning I gave the angry feather-ball a wide berth. I rounded the corner and instead of turning right, I went wide left. All was well. I thought I was in the clear, until THWACK! - From out of an empty sky I was being savaged again. It was like a terrible scene from 'When Animals Attack Good Blokes'. I hammered along wailing and waving my arm above my head, nearly riding straight into a car in the process. Thats when I knew this beats had it in for me.

At work I fearfully inquired if there were any preventative measures:

“But of course” was the reply, and they handed me a set of eyes. Two big gazing eyes, which I was meant to stick on the top of my helmet.

Apparently, the craven birds will not attack if they are being watched. I stuck the ocular shield to the top of my lid. That afternoon, just to be cautious, I rode along the main rode, risking myself in the traffic rather than face another round of death from above. I was almost at top speed when I felt the first fluttering attack. I had little choice but to increase my speed and try and outrun my assailant; a futile strategy. My fear almost quelled my humiliation as I felt the laughing of the passengers in the cars overtaking me. In the end it was so ridiculous that I started laughing myself, while the belligerent bird unleashed a brutal flurry of beak pecks to the cranium.

Eventually I was riding an extra km or two out of my way to avoid the daily pummeling. One morning as I walked to work, too tired of the punishment to cycle, I saw a boy ride straight down the path of doom. No sign of the ambush. I rejoiced. The swooping season was over. That very same day I was pedaling along, my attention focused on a group of workmen in a yard when WOOSH! - I was hit. It sent me into a panic and the blokes on site into fits of laughter. Trying to defend my head with one arm I rode under the bridge, emerging on the other side to find I was still in the cross-hairs. I was obviously the sworn enemy of this truculent tweeter. I admitted defeat and put my bike away.

A month or so later, the danger had passed. For me, the damage was done. I couldn't approach a magpie without a shiver of fear. Every feathered creature I encountered I expected to turn on me and try to infect me with bird flu or gouge out my eyes.

With the hatchlings out of the nest, the next cycle began. This proved to be as annoying as the previous was terrifying. The fat, fluffy chicks whine and whinge constantly, with a squeaky, wheedling squawk. For some reason they congregate outside my window in the morning, invading my dreams with their high pitched caterwauling. These petulant infants are doted upon by their parent, their every whim catered to as worms are thrust beak-wise down their throats. It's like watching an obese kid at the super market throw a tantrum and be rewarded with a donut.

Damn magpies. The most annoying of all birds. But they better watch out because I have begun to study their ways. The tables will be turned . . .
38
Vote
   


Black is the new black in science

January 17th 2008 22:29


US researchers say they have made the darkest material on Earth, a substance so black it absorbs more than 99.9 per cent of light.

Made from tiny tubes of carbon standing on end, this material is almost 30 times darker than a carbon substance used by the US National Institute of Standards and Technology as the current benchmark of blackness.

And the material is close to the long-sought ideal black, which could absorb all colours of light and reflect none.

"All the light that goes in is basically absorbed," said Pulickel Ajayan, who led the research team at Rice University in Houston.

"It is almost pushing the limit of how much light can be absorbed into one material."

The substance has a total reflective index of 0.045 per cent - which is more than three times darker than the nickel-phosphorous alloy that now holds the record as the world's darkest material.

Basic black paint, by comparison, has a reflective index of 5 per cent to 10 per cent.

The researchers are seeking a world's darkest material designation by Guinness World Records.

But their work is likely to yield more than just bragging rights.

Mr Ajayan said the material could be used in solar energy conversion.

"You could think of a material that basically collects all the light that falls into it," he said.

t could also could be used in infrared detection or astronomical observation.

Mr Ajayan, who worked with a team at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York, said the material got its blackness from three things.

It is composed of carbon nano-tubes, tiny tubes of tightly rolled carbon that are 400 hundred times smaller than the diameter of a strand of hair. The carbon helps absorb some of the light.

These tubes are standing on end, much like a patch of grass. This arrangement traps light in the tiny gaps between the "blades".

The researchers have also made the surface of this carbon nano-tube carpet irregular and rough to cut down on reflectivity.

"Such a nano-tube array not only reflects light weakly, but also absorbs light strongly," said Shawn-Yu Lin, a professor of physics at Rensselaer, who helped make the substance.

The researchers have tested the material on visible light only. Now they want to see how it fares against infrared and ultraviolet light, and other wavelengths such as radiation used in communications systems.

"If you could make materials that would block these radiations, it could have serious applications for stealth and defence," Mr Ajayan said.

The work was released online last week and will be published in an upcoming issue of the journal Nano Letters.

Indian-born Mr Ajayan holds the 2006 Guinness World Record as co-inventor of the smallest brush in the world.

50
Vote
   


Monkey Maths

December 20th 2007 03:46

">Monkeys Can Perform Mental Addition
Researchers at Duke University have demonstrated that monkeys have the ability to perform mental addition. In fact, monkeys performed about as well as college students given the same test.

[ Click here to read more ]
60
Vote
   




One of the less reported causalites of the war in Iraq has been the priceless archaeoligical treausres that have been looted by bandits, militiamen and soldiers and sold onto the enormous antiquities black market - amrket that is third behind guns and drugs in size


[ Click here to read more ]
49
Vote
   




Before the end of the last ice age, a hunter-gatherer left a bag of tools near the wall of a roundhouse residence, where archaeologists have now found the collection 14,000 years later


[ Click here to read more ]
76
Vote
   


Fear of knowing too much

November 29th 2007 22:37


People are scared these days. They have a fear of everything. Fear of crossing the street, of frogs, a morbid fear of satin, and probably satan too


[ Click here to read more ]
75
Vote
   


Pet hates

November 27th 2007 07:52


How can some people be so unaware of other people’s personal space? Why, in an empty train carriage, would someone choose to sit directly next to the only other occupant, who is obviously sleeping, and proceed to regurgitate in a loud and loathsome voice abou at tedious train journey once undertaken from Tallarook to Broadford? Why


[ Click here to read more ]
44
Vote
   


Is there a fly Plague in Melbourne?

November 26th 2007 10:31
46
Vote
   


Get your vote in early!

November 22nd 2007 03:11
You don't have to wait until saturday to vote. Why not practice right now?


[ Click here to read more ]
67
Vote
   


More Posts
1 Posts
2 Posts
3 Posts
19 Posts dating from October 2007
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:

Andy 2's Blogs

367 Vote(s)
9 Comment(s)
8 Post(s)
580 Vote(s)
11 Comment(s)
10 Post(s)
Moderated by Andy 2
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]