Conversations with Myself: 11/28/2008
December 28th 2008 03:48
I'm having a really hard time keeping it together.
Ugh, this isn't going to be another whiney emo rant, is it?
Who are you to judge?
Uh. . .
Oh, right.
Right.
It's an emotional outlet that--
Yeah, see? "EMOtional". . .
. . . What, so I'm not allowed to have feelings?
You're just not allowed to be Emo about it.
Okay, if all emotions are considered Emo, how the hell can you have "feelings" (emotions) without being Emo?
You can't.
Yeah, so then I'm not allowed to have feelings.
Apparently not. Whining about it is Emo, too.
. . .
Wow, exciting conversation you're having there, Emo boy.
Okay, you can suck my nut.
I would, if I could reach.
I bet you would.
Look, don't blame the rest of the world for your problems. Everyone has problems.
I know, I'm just trying to vent mine--
Yeah, that's the problem. Everyone wants to vent their problems. Most people cope by finding a good friend whose metaphorical shoulder they can cry on.
What if I'm tired of bitching to my friends?
So you just display your rants for everyone to read? That's like hitting ALL your friends at once.
Well, I think the difference is that anyone who WANTS to read it can, while people who don't have the time or inclination don't have to listen to me whine.
So what about this conversation? Some sort of self-justifying excuse to whine anyway?
I don't know, maybe. Either way, it seems to be working.
Is it?
Actually, I guess I can't tell. It is distracting me, though, and that's better than the pain.
Oh, frig, here we go again.
It just really sucks. Losing important friends is hard. Especially while being torn between loving one person that you KNOW you can't have (even though she loves you back), and wanting to explore a relationship with someone else that you may actually be able to have a meaningful relationship with-- but at the cost of cutting out the one you already know you love.
Sucks to be you. Sucks to be everyone.
How is that right? Shouldn't we say it rocks to be everyone? Shouldn't we not accept the "sucks to be you" line? I don't really think it sucks to be me. It's not easy, but I've had some pretty amazing experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.
~Anything?~
Well . . . I would certainly be willing to swap some experiences for some other choice ones, but I wouldn't sacrifice all my experiences for someone else's. I love what memories I'm able to keep-- at least, the ones that don't feel like daggers in my heart.
Everyone has those.
I KNOW. I'm not complaining, but the fact is, they exist.
So how long do you plan to keep this up?
I don't know, I guess until I run out of things to say.
And then what are you going to do?
I don't know, I guess I'll just stop.
Ugh, this isn't going to be another whiney emo rant, is it?
Who are you to judge?
Uh. . .
Oh, right.
Right.
It's an emotional outlet that--
Yeah, see? "EMOtional". . .
. . . What, so I'm not allowed to have feelings?
You're just not allowed to be Emo about it.
Okay, if all emotions are considered Emo, how the hell can you have "feelings" (emotions) without being Emo?
You can't.
Yeah, so then I'm not allowed to have feelings.
Apparently not. Whining about it is Emo, too.
. . .
Wow, exciting conversation you're having there, Emo boy.
Okay, you can suck my nut.
I would, if I could reach.
I bet you would.
Look, don't blame the rest of the world for your problems. Everyone has problems.
I know, I'm just trying to vent mine--
Yeah, that's the problem. Everyone wants to vent their problems. Most people cope by finding a good friend whose metaphorical shoulder they can cry on.
What if I'm tired of bitching to my friends?
So you just display your rants for everyone to read? That's like hitting ALL your friends at once.
Well, I think the difference is that anyone who WANTS to read it can, while people who don't have the time or inclination don't have to listen to me whine.
So what about this conversation? Some sort of self-justifying excuse to whine anyway?
I don't know, maybe. Either way, it seems to be working.
Is it?
Actually, I guess I can't tell. It is distracting me, though, and that's better than the pain.
Oh, frig, here we go again.
It just really sucks. Losing important friends is hard. Especially while being torn between loving one person that you KNOW you can't have (even though she loves you back), and wanting to explore a relationship with someone else that you may actually be able to have a meaningful relationship with-- but at the cost of cutting out the one you already know you love.
Sucks to be you. Sucks to be everyone.
How is that right? Shouldn't we say it rocks to be everyone? Shouldn't we not accept the "sucks to be you" line? I don't really think it sucks to be me. It's not easy, but I've had some pretty amazing experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.
~Anything?~
Well . . . I would certainly be willing to swap some experiences for some other choice ones, but I wouldn't sacrifice all my experiences for someone else's. I love what memories I'm able to keep-- at least, the ones that don't feel like daggers in my heart.
Everyone has those.
I KNOW. I'm not complaining, but the fact is, they exist.
So how long do you plan to keep this up?
I don't know, I guess until I run out of things to say.
And then what are you going to do?
I don't know, I guess I'll just stop.
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