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Review of yet another film

October 1st 2008 11:40
In this day and age many people are molly coddled into thinking that these new, 'intelligent' movies are any good, at all, take for instance "Made of Honour". I mean, what the fuck? What kind of idiotic hijinks and puritannical nonsense is put forth in that abomination of a movie? I swear to god, if I see one more movie like tha... whats this? "Beverly Hills Chihuahua", WHAT THE FUCK HOLLYWOOD? Is it really necessary to create such drivel, such mind numbing crap that it can only be dumbing down the population (hows that, this American dictionary doesn't even have 'dumbing' in it, ironic? Maybe).


As a result of this retardation of the mainstream American film industry I have to search for diamonds in the rough as it were, or search back in time, baack to the early 90's, I was still and infant and POW! There was released a movie, a movie that was so trashy, such a take off from terminator and numerous other well known action films, that for me, it started the trash talking, non serious, trashy as all hell, action movie (hereby known as traction).

That movie was of course, Demolition Man, starring Sylvester Stallone and the illustrious Wesley Snipes. It epitomised the action movie, it didn't take itself seriously and was all the better for it, had very few actual computer generated shots, and again was the better for it. In an age of emerging computer technologies Demolition Man dared to be different, when they needed a fucking huge hospital that was on fire and eventually blew up, they damn well did it, and so gave this movie a charm that others lacked. The presence of Sandra Bullock as an almost central character and possible love interest is a moot point in this movie, and although she provides a pretty face (ish) due to her youth (you will also notice Benjamin Bratt [the agent who plays opposite Bullock in 'Miss Congeniality'], creepily following her around? Maybe, and Rob Schneider as an up and coming police officer) could have easily fulfilled a different role, for instance that of Stallone's daughter, a sadly untied up narrative, I mean, even Alien had the decency to tie that shit up in Aliens.


In all, the fight scenes are choreographed well, conveying the sense of ease with which Snipes deals with his opponents, accompanied as usual with the wry sniping comments (oh snap?), the camera angles are an interesting mix of security footage, close ups and panning shots to show the enormity of the set pieces created (which are well done). The acting is over the top, almost camp on occasions but nonetheless expected from the actors involved but does not detract from the overall attractiveness of the film. It tries so hard to be a classic bad-guy against the conflicted yet pure good cop, and yet at the same time has fun with the script in a light unforced way (see anchorman for antithesis).

Personally I enjoy this movie thoroughly, it's a fun watch and well worth it if you are merely looking for action.

7/10
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Static

September 30th 2008 11:18
Wow, here it is, another day gone, all thanks to the holidays.

Now, I'm a lazy kind of guy, I enjoy days off, afternoons off and just about any excuse not to do any form of work and focus on things I actually want to do. So, when it comes time to embark upon the holiday season I begin it with great anticipation, nigh on giddiness (I am not usually one to become 'giddy' at anything).

What initially greets me is what appears to be an endless field of luscious grass, crowned by a perfect blue sky, a soft cool breeze blowing, a tree to sit in the shade of and forever to spend there. Under closer inspection, the grass is full of landmines, the tree is in fact made of plastic, and as nice as the sun appears it always shines that bit too brightly and uncomfortably warm.

Essentially what I am attempting to convey is that the holidays get boring, so mind numbingly dull, even when you are supposed to be studying for end of year exams *looks guilty*. The only things that brighten up my days of solitude are the rare occasions when friends contact me, and I grasp at these lifelines, desperate for human contact, because I tell you, there is nothing worse than being home alone and having nothing definitive to do, you end up wasting vast tracts of time.

In a perfect world, perfect at least, in comparison to the world of school and constant pressure to do something for someone else, under of course the guise of doing things for yourself; *ahem* (that is a rant for another day) as I was saying in a perfect world, your friends would not be busy studying or doing things that kept them busy and so you (I) would be able to enjoy the company of these fine fellows far more.

In a circular motion we come back to the origin of this post, the utter mundane dullness that is represented by the holidays. It is almost certainly different for people who aren't me (cough, Rory, cough) who attend many functions 'because they have to', lucky bastards.

Ed
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First Review

September 29th 2008 14:21
Ahhhh, my first review, but a review of what you might ask? Well, it just so happens it is a movie, a movie based on a book, as many are these days. It is The Golden Compass, or as I like to think of it, The Northern Lights.

Preliminarily, I would like to say, that the movie was an accomplishment, an accomplishment in inanity. The movie was horrible, a real testament to the ability of Hollywood to destroy even the most noble of sentiments. That sentiment would be the desire to remove organised religion.

From a plot point of view, the movie is similar to the book, but like many things bastardised by American cinema it is watered down, with poor casting choices and key scenes left out of the final cut.

As is the usual fare for novel to movie conversions the two main problems, firstly, the thoughts of the characters remain un-voiced and thus a major part of the narrative is removed, no matter how hard the script writers attempt to compensate. Secondly, the visualisations the reader of the novel creates of the characters, places and so forth.

These images held within the imaginations of the readers can be realised in a skillful manner, but in 'The Golden Compass' they are caricatures of idiocy, the vehicles are over done and comical, unfeasible to the extreme. The familiars, known as 'daemons' in the universe, are overly characterised and childish, seemingly intended for younger audiences, this is the same for the main character, Lyra, who is no more than 10 in the film, should be represented as at the beginning of puberty.

Speaking of the characters, the casting is on the whole well done all but one or two of the cast. I for one dislike Nicole Kidman, she is to me, a sub par actress, and as such should not have been cast as Mrs. Coulter. Personally I had envisioned someone more attractive, but in a dangerously psychotic fashion, for example, Sophia Myles. who is possessed of an angular beauty and an animalistic ferocity, the perfect part to play the polished yet deadly Mrs. Coulter.

Visually, although the design is comical, the film is certainly an accomplishment. The computer generated imagery is stunningly detailed and impressive, though lacking depth and inspiration.

In all, this film is inarticulate and deserving of only the attentions of a young, uneducated audience. I found it to be a poor reflection of the novel, which is something that disappoints me greatly as I enjoyed the series greatly and had high hopes for the film.

3/10
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Inoculation

September 29th 2008 09:12
Well, well, well, it seems I have discovered yet another blog site, courtesy of my partner in inanity, the sister unit, Erin. As I am sure you are aware by now, this blog is born as an illegitimate child from equal parts boredom and desire to write, but not write schoolwork.

Speaking of which, school seems to me to be an antiquated conundrum... I mean, we are told to develop our individuality and 'find our own path' because we are all 'special people'. This view is imposed upon every child in the 'First World' countries, and to tell you the truth I am thoroughly sick to death of this social convention


[ Click here to read more ]
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