Consequence
July 14th 2007 02:24
Consequence - the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier: The accident was the consequence of reckless driving.
I wanted to write an introductory post before getting into my life, so you would know the context. However I need to write about this somewhere no one knows me. I need a place I can be honest right now.
Employment termination was the consequence of abusing a patient. The patient was me. I am not going to go into details today, I've had to do that far too often in the past couple months.
I have mental health issues (which can be found in my profile) and was hospitalized a few years ago. While I was a patient a 'friendship' formed between a male staff member and myself. The extent of physical contact was only a hug - in a locked closet. After I left there was frequent phone and online contact. There was also many instances of emotional abuse. Drunken rage, propositions, suicide threats (made by him, not me) and other smaller things were common. I wanted to help him, I didn't want to give up. It took me around a year to cut off all contact, and that was only after he threatened to find a way to get me back into the hospital.
Two months ago I reported it. It's been a long, hard process. Phone records, old journal entries, random scraps of paper - all had to be gone through. Today I received notice that his termination letter is on the hospital administrators desk. It's really happening. There is obviously a huge amount of back story to this situation, and I will get into that at some point in the next couple weeks.
I am happy that I reported it, and very happy that the outcome is in my favor. I regret not reporting this sooner. I regret getting involved with him in any manner at all. I also feel guilty for what this may do to him and his kids. I do not have any idea what his state of mind has been the last few years, months (he knew there was an investigation, he knew it was me), and weeks. I fear this may push him over the edge. What would I do then? How would I feel?
I wanted to write an introductory post before getting into my life, so you would know the context. However I need to write about this somewhere no one knows me. I need a place I can be honest right now.
Employment termination was the consequence of abusing a patient. The patient was me. I am not going to go into details today, I've had to do that far too often in the past couple months.
I have mental health issues (which can be found in my profile) and was hospitalized a few years ago. While I was a patient a 'friendship' formed between a male staff member and myself. The extent of physical contact was only a hug - in a locked closet. After I left there was frequent phone and online contact. There was also many instances of emotional abuse. Drunken rage, propositions, suicide threats (made by him, not me) and other smaller things were common. I wanted to help him, I didn't want to give up. It took me around a year to cut off all contact, and that was only after he threatened to find a way to get me back into the hospital.
Two months ago I reported it. It's been a long, hard process. Phone records, old journal entries, random scraps of paper - all had to be gone through. Today I received notice that his termination letter is on the hospital administrators desk. It's really happening. There is obviously a huge amount of back story to this situation, and I will get into that at some point in the next couple weeks.
I am happy that I reported it, and very happy that the outcome is in my favor. I regret not reporting this sooner. I regret getting involved with him in any manner at all. I also feel guilty for what this may do to him and his kids. I do not have any idea what his state of mind has been the last few years, months (he knew there was an investigation, he knew it was me), and weeks. I fear this may push him over the edge. What would I do then? How would I feel?
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Comment by Wendi
Writing is a great form of therapy for me, and while I sometimes do it as a profession and a more crisp style, it's the raw writing and emotional outpours from which I gain the most benefit.
I won't comment on the report story as of yet, 'cause as you've stated, there's more to the story than can be put here... and I'll keep reading as time and energy allow.
Welcome to Orble!
W