confessions of a country football legend
January 14th 2009 21:18
Well it’s me first day back in me old home town, fresh in from the big smoke. You would have thought maybe they’d put on a bit of a show for the favourite son – I mean, I’m not expectin a red-tape parade or anything – but you would have thought they’d lay out the old welcome mat just a little bit! Instead all I got was a “g’day bigknob!” Yeah ok, so I am hung like a horse, but it’s not as if I go splashin the fact all over town! Except sometimes when I’m pissed…
Anyway, it was good to catch up with some of the boys again. Like Chuckles MacPherson, I hadn’t seen him since we played in the grand final with the under 12’s against West Yippoon. Chuckles was playing forward pocket that day and he marked in the goalsquare in the last quarter when we were down by 2 points. We were bloody rapt, cos we hadn’t beaten them for 10 years! Except he missed, the jack fucker, so I punched him out! Started a bloody grouse all-in, too. Old Jock MacFly reckoned it was the best he’d ever seen in the under 12’s!
Some pricks never bloody change, but. I mean, how’s this for form: Rat comes up to me after training and goes “look squirts, I hope ya don’t mind bloke, but I’ve been rootin ya sister while you were gone.” I should have punched him out, the bloody lowlife, but he was about the only bloke in the team that she hadn’t already rooted, so I pretty much saw it coming. Looser than the bloody hinges on a barn door, me sister.
Anyway, we had this bird from the AFL down the club this week given a talk, somethin to do with footy players treatin women with respect and that. Seeing as I’m pretty much a leader round the club and that, coach reckoned I should say a few words to the boys too. Tell ya what, she turned out to be a top notch chick! Real classy bird, not like the usual scrubbers you get round these parts. Massive cans too…
So I did up a bit of a speech for the occasion, even ran it past the old man and all. Tell ya what, lucky I did, cos he picked up some stuff I didn’t even think of. Like when I said ya should treat women like you’d treat yer best mate, the old man reckoned I shouldn’t put that bit in, cos it sounded like I was sayin you’d root yer best mate.
Anyway, things went pretty smooth on the night, with the boys on their best behaviour and all. Not even one bloke yellin for her to get her tits out! She even hung around for a drink after and I was doin pretty well I reckon, so I said to her that like, if she was up for a root later on then we could head back to my joint. I reckon she would have too, but then something suddenly came up and she had to head back to Melbourne. Must have been bloody urgent too, the way she ran out! Ah well, spewin eh?
Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, we flogged Upper Dungaree on the weekend. Didn’t get BOG, but coach reckons I’ll take a game or two to find me feet again.
Til next time!
Squirter.
Anyway, it was good to catch up with some of the boys again. Like Chuckles MacPherson, I hadn’t seen him since we played in the grand final with the under 12’s against West Yippoon. Chuckles was playing forward pocket that day and he marked in the goalsquare in the last quarter when we were down by 2 points. We were bloody rapt, cos we hadn’t beaten them for 10 years! Except he missed, the jack fucker, so I punched him out! Started a bloody grouse all-in, too. Old Jock MacFly reckoned it was the best he’d ever seen in the under 12’s!
Some pricks never bloody change, but. I mean, how’s this for form: Rat comes up to me after training and goes “look squirts, I hope ya don’t mind bloke, but I’ve been rootin ya sister while you were gone.” I should have punched him out, the bloody lowlife, but he was about the only bloke in the team that she hadn’t already rooted, so I pretty much saw it coming. Looser than the bloody hinges on a barn door, me sister.
Anyway, we had this bird from the AFL down the club this week given a talk, somethin to do with footy players treatin women with respect and that. Seeing as I’m pretty much a leader round the club and that, coach reckoned I should say a few words to the boys too. Tell ya what, she turned out to be a top notch chick! Real classy bird, not like the usual scrubbers you get round these parts. Massive cans too…
So I did up a bit of a speech for the occasion, even ran it past the old man and all. Tell ya what, lucky I did, cos he picked up some stuff I didn’t even think of. Like when I said ya should treat women like you’d treat yer best mate, the old man reckoned I shouldn’t put that bit in, cos it sounded like I was sayin you’d root yer best mate.
Anyway, things went pretty smooth on the night, with the boys on their best behaviour and all. Not even one bloke yellin for her to get her tits out! She even hung around for a drink after and I was doin pretty well I reckon, so I said to her that like, if she was up for a root later on then we could head back to my joint. I reckon she would have too, but then something suddenly came up and she had to head back to Melbourne. Must have been bloody urgent too, the way she ran out! Ah well, spewin eh?
Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, we flogged Upper Dungaree on the weekend. Didn’t get BOG, but coach reckons I’ll take a game or two to find me feet again.
Til next time!
Squirter.
| 35 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power