Christmas klutz!
Not to put a downer on the whole Christmas spirit thing, but I for one am really glad that the madness is over! I am quite happy that I get to celebrate my Christmas in a few weeks time when the holiday makers have gone, the streets are no longer bulging with puffing and panting cars and the shop aisles have returned to normal, void of the rage and venomous glares that would make any street fighter proud.
To borrow a phrase from the lovely old lady off 'The Golden Girls' .... Picture it, Sicily, 1947.... haha just kidding! Picture it, the fruit and veg section of the local corner shop. The heady scent of fresh tomatoes mingle with the perfume of luscious, plump peaches. Tiny beads of condensation shimmer like diamonds on the back of a juicy orange, which lies in stark contrast next to the almost luminous green skin of a granny smith apple. Bunches of grapes and small, perfectly coloured cherries, puff up their purple bossoms as eyes and fingers caress their delicate skins.
And there, amidst this scene stands yours truly, watching the Greek god-like figure of a vision from above saunter slowly toward the door, whilst my fingers try to pry open a box of sun ripened bananas. Our eyes meet briefly through the hazy steaminess of the fresh produce, a small smile creasing the corners of his blood red lips and a tiny nod shaking the delicate curls of his midnight black hair.
The box gives way. In slow motion, and with the grace of a well-trained ballerina, a blob of green slime delicately arcs through the air, as the cardboard lid opens and acts as a catapult for the previously unseen little critter. It was too late to be stopped. Nothing could be done. Horror replaced the trace of a returned smile that had crept to my mouth.
SPLAT! With the consistency of a 3 year olds booger, the 'ballerina' lands with perfect accuracy on the side of my face. The eyes of the young man shift ever so slightly to look directly into mine, as a small cough catches in his throat. A quiet chuckle escapes from next to me, where a bikini-clad blonde is standing, leaning over the fleshy fruit before her.
Sigh. Christmas will come and go, but the klutz in me is here to stay.
Let the good times roll - 2007 is almost over and it`s time to start the merry-making so lift your glass up, UP on high and look back on all those moments over the past 12 months that have made you laugh and shout with glee. Feel free to share a few or just sit back and let the good times roll!
and break open those Pina Colada`s baby!
To borrow a phrase from the lovely old lady off 'The Golden Girls' .... Picture it, Sicily, 1947.... haha just kidding! Picture it, the fruit and veg section of the local corner shop. The heady scent of fresh tomatoes mingle with the perfume of luscious, plump peaches. Tiny beads of condensation shimmer like diamonds on the back of a juicy orange, which lies in stark contrast next to the almost luminous green skin of a granny smith apple. Bunches of grapes and small, perfectly coloured cherries, puff up their purple bossoms as eyes and fingers caress their delicate skins.
And there, amidst this scene stands yours truly, watching the Greek god-like figure of a vision from above saunter slowly toward the door, whilst my fingers try to pry open a box of sun ripened bananas. Our eyes meet briefly through the hazy steaminess of the fresh produce, a small smile creasing the corners of his blood red lips and a tiny nod shaking the delicate curls of his midnight black hair.
The box gives way. In slow motion, and with the grace of a well-trained ballerina, a blob of green slime delicately arcs through the air, as the cardboard lid opens and acts as a catapult for the previously unseen little critter. It was too late to be stopped. Nothing could be done. Horror replaced the trace of a returned smile that had crept to my mouth.
SPLAT! With the consistency of a 3 year olds booger, the 'ballerina' lands with perfect accuracy on the side of my face. The eyes of the young man shift ever so slightly to look directly into mine, as a small cough catches in his throat. A quiet chuckle escapes from next to me, where a bikini-clad blonde is standing, leaning over the fleshy fruit before her.
Sigh. Christmas will come and go, but the klutz in me is here to stay.
Let the good times roll - 2007 is almost over and it`s time to start the merry-making so lift your glass up, UP on high and look back on all those moments over the past 12 months that have made you laugh and shout with glee. Feel free to share a few or just sit back and let the good times roll!
GOOD BYE 2007 - HELLO 2008!! ROCK ON PARTY PEOPLE!!!!!!!
and break open those Pina Colada`s baby!
Flick Wit
Have a good New Year's Ash!
Michaelie
Movies and Life
Hope you have a good night,
Trace
Movies and Life
Coffee Quip
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
ahhh goon is right! These things happen to me constantly - my inner nerd is allowed to shine on a regular basis.
We had a rather delish young specimen stay with us a few days after Christmas. Walked straight into the glass door. This is now the second time this year I have done this!
Have a good one
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yeah I settled for a quiet one this year. My sister tried to persuade me to go with her to the Gold Coast - nuh!
All our fireworks displays were cancelled up this way due our lovely cyclonic weather we are having - mother nature puts on a much better display I reckon!
Happy New Year
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Look forward to the reading! It`s just second nature for me to let my inner nerd shine - wouldn`t be the same without her.
Rock on!
Ash
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Love to you this Great New Year's Day with the promise of much to come.
katyzzz
Movies and Life
I just read your comment to Michaelie, did you hurt yourself when you walked into the glass door? Ooh, sounds painful.
I know what you mean about not wanting a big NYE, I hadn't realised the weather was so strong up there at the moment, hope it calms down soon.
Trace
Flick Wit
My brother did it once, was eating an apple adn went to run outside, not realising that the glass door was shut. He slammed into it, leaving this big smooshed apple mark on the door which he refused to clean off so he could see the door next time, and which sent me into hysterics every time I saw it.
Michaelie
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I was lucky with this shot - it came out in focus in all the right places!
Thanks for your wishes and may i boomerang them back at ya!
ash
Movies and Life
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
ah yeah all is good. You would think me living in the house would be used to the door by now? Not a chance! I'm all good - perhaps a slightly bruised ego
The weather has been superb up here all week - squally showers and churning seas = it`s been beautiful. Everyone has been complaining about how it has ruined Christmas and New Year - no way!
ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
don`t worry about it - I laughed too! And I`m laughing with your brother too! hehehehehe a kindred! Still got the apple smear??? LOL that`s funny!
First time I walked into the glass door was earlier this year. I saw this spunky guy who comes into my work place while I was at the bank and we chatted for a few seconds before I started to walk over, looking back over my shoulder as I was talking. With one last, what I thought was a particularly witty comment (rolls eyes), thrown over my shoulder, I turned around only to walk smack into the glass door. Which happened to be on the main street of town. Which was quite full at that point.
Yup! It`s me and my inner fool all the way
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
hopefully i can GROW AWAY from the kltuz in me... although maybe that`s asking too much!
Movies and Life
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Movies and Life
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
wooo hoo the weather is getting wilder!
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
and how, we got court out playing tennis in that this arvie... it was wild at first, trying to serve against the wind and then wilder ... running in the rain... gosh we all really enjoyed ourselves.
I adore being out in wild weather - followed by a nice warm shower, dry clothes and a hot toddy...it doesn;t get better... well depending on the company...and
As for your encounter?
Ash, sweeite... I can tell - just by looking at him - that he wasn't the right Adonis for you my dear... uh huh, not at all...am I right in thinking that the 'ballerina' was a caterpillar of some astronautical delicacy, shall we say, containing the 'right stuff'?
If so, let me know and I'll translate what Totem message you may have 'incoming...'
Lilla...
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
oooh yes this weather has been amazing hasn`t it? I reckon playing tennis in it would have been fun!
Woodford was a riot in the mud and rain too! Took us half an hour to find our tent in the midnight madness and sloshy mud.... yeah! I just finished putting up the photos if you wanna check them out. click here.
QUOTE]I adore being out in wild weather - followed by a nice warm shower, dry clothes and a hot toddy...it doesn;t get better... well depending on the company...and[/QUOTE] woo hoo throw a crackling fire in there and I reckon you got the perfect evening.
ha! I have been having dreams of spiders a lot recently - one particular beauty made this gorgeous home behind my bed. I woke to find this basket, sort of like one of those weavers nests, made of intricately woven strips of wood. Anyyyyway the message on your dream site about spiders....
Enjoy your evening in this lovely weather, while it lasts. I hear it should be easing over the next couple of days before another storm arrives over the weekend - wooo hoooo
Stay safe
Ash
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
Happy New Year!!!
I just came back from Coffs Harbour to read your blog and just hope that you're being kind to yourself whilst entertaining your audience with stories of klutziness!
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
HAHAHAHA! Klutzes of the World Unite! Thanks for sharing your tale with us! You crack me up!
Mis
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Welcome back. I imagine you had a great time - Coffs looked really good from the drive-through visits I`ve had - very beautiful scenery down that way.
hehehe well ya know I`ve been told many a time that I should join the circus - in fact there`s one in town maybe I should see if they are hiring!
Good to see you back
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
only too happy to share a smile. I been cracking up a lot of things as of late.... glasses, dishes, doors....
Ash
Kalikapsychosis
That was a perfect conversation opener! You could have giggled away and make a good wise crack that proved you had more to offer than bikini clad boobs and bottle blonde hair!
Thats what I woulda done!
And sorry but memories of fruit shops are a bit traumatic for me, I used to be resposable for putting on those oh so fresh condensation drops!
Hope you had a good one babe.
What's Your Story?
Big Day Plunge
Thanks for sharing all your beautiful writing with us.
Happy new year!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
ah that`s the thing - I wasn`t interesting in anything else other than just looking. My heart belongs to another I`m afraid, and I don`t have space in it for lads like this.
Still it is always good to look.... and I don`t have much time for peroxided blondes anyway so the most I would so in such a situation is introduce one to the other - they are more likely suited!
I`ll be having a good one in approximately 25 days hun - that`s when my break begins. Hope you had a rested time over the silly season
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
yes... there is always something in me wanting to break out and make me look like a klutz. I embrace it now!
Hope you had a good one
Ash
Celebrity Obsession
That's SO something that I would do. Though my speciality is find a cute guy, get eye contact and then trip over my own feet and end up face first on the ground.
Klutzez unite!!
I hope 20008 is a good one for you
Kylie