The Olympics have taught me one thing this week: my ex-girlfriend owes me an apology.
As of 5.00pm this arvo, Australia has won 11 gold medals. Now, in case you have forgotten, gold medals are the currency of our nationality. Its the only thing that distinguishes us from New Zealand. And Greenland.
And the thing that distinguishes us from the rest of the world is that all of our 11 gold medals have been won on the water. Swimmers galore, and rowers, and sailors. Sure, we picked up gold in the womens triathlon (courtesy of Emma Snowsill), but a third of that race is on water, so my stats are water tight. Bad joke, I know, but its my blog.
Perusing through the silver medals again demonstrates our love of all things aquatic. Every single one of them are water-based medals, with the possible exception of a curious event we apparently won medals in called eventing. Buggered if Id know what that is either. (As an after-note: even my Microsoft spell-check doesnt recognise the word eventing).
And as for bronze, well, everyone has got a bronze medal these days havent they, so theres no point looking through that list.
The other interesting thing to note is that 8 out of our 11 golds have been won by females. So while us blokes spend our spare time chasing cricket balls and kicking leather around the nations footy fields (or more precisely sitting back and watching others do it), the women have been working out in the water.
Ironic really isnt it? Statistics dont lie. I have been telling my now-ex-girlfriend for years that her place is exactly there in the water. Whether she is doing the dishes, or cleaning my clothes, she rightfully belongs in the kitchen and the laundry. She left me a while ago now, ranting on about me being a sexist pig or some bloody thing, and yet I was right all along.
This is a list, in no particular order, of rock tracks that demand you to pull out your air guitar or sit down at your air drum kit right from the opening note. Or beat. Or scream. These are the songs that need to be played if youre leaving for work in four minutes and cant bare the thought of walking out the front door, or if you want to go and burn off those Tim Tams and simply cannot haul your big backside out of bed.
The rules for assessing the ten best ever rock intro's
1) Can only be 10 songs. Any more and no-one would be bothered reading it.
2) Can only be 10 songs. Any more and I cant be bothered writing it.
3) Must be made up of half Australian acts and half not.
4) Must be made up of half live stuff and half studio stuff.
5) As it turns out, the live stuff must be made up of stuff I have seen live. Coincidentally, as it turns out.
6) I must be able to find a suitable You Tube clip of my selected top ten rock intro.
7) Can not have more than seven (7) rules in assessing the top 10 intros.
And before I continue: the irony of it all I know rock n roll is supposed to be all about freedom of expression, breaking the rules and basically sticking it to the man, (Jack Black told me). And so trying to create a rock n roll list, and give it some rules and prerequisites appears to fly entirely in the face of what rock, according to legend, is all about. Enjoy that thought as long as you like, but Ive gotta get going and start playing some tunes.
(In booming announcers voice)
And so without further ado, in conjunction with Funky and The Jazzman productions, give it up for the biggest, baddest, bestest rock intros of oorrrrrrrrrlllllll Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmme!
Kicking off the studio stuff with two giants of the hair-band era, I'm talking Motley Crue and Guns n Roses.
Kick Start My Heart gives nothing less than that heart-pounding vibe of being trackside at a Formula One Grand Prix. A massive adrenalin surge that is required before any car race or before you have to clean the skid marks off your share-house toilet. No Ive never been to a car race.
You Could Be Mine takes me back to the days where The Digger and myself used to drive up to Blackbutt Reserve to do some cross country running. Playing the start of this song in the car before you go for a run is almost exactly the same as injecting cows blood into your thighs before playing a game of footy. Ooh yeah!
The next selection needs no real introduction or description. Just press play on the vid here
Got it? Good.
And now, please welcome to the microphones, a couple of top Aussie studio-recorded rock n rollers. Firstly Id like to introduce The Divinyls who take great delight in sticking it to the man with their track Hey Little Boy. The drums, the guitar this intro lets you know what youre in for
And next we have the mighty Spiderbait. Who in the world (of Australia) didnt pull their air guitar out for this one?!!
Feeling pumped? Good, because in the words of immortal rocker Mark Gasnier, its time to fire up bitch and face up to the top 5 LIVE!
Ill kick-off with a classic rock intro, a little bit of guitar solo that is instantly recognisable right around the world. Did somebody just whisper the word iconic? Why not?!!
Sticking with the Aussie theme for the moment, the lads from The Living End are back from their internal squabbles and self-loathing to release a new album. Whatever happens with this album or in future, there can be no denying that with Prisoner of Society, they came up with one of the all-time greatest Oz rock songs. Have a look at this live version what a way to intro a song and fire up a crowd.
Moving to a couple of bands from abroad now and onto the first live big gig I ever saw. In fact (in showing my age) I had to leave a HSC exam early to catch a train down to Sydney to see these guys. The result? Thanks to Dire Straits for putting on was is still one of the maddest concerts I have ever seen, and (as Im sure you were wondering) I scored my highest mark in this particular HSC exam! God bless General Studies. And the power of rock.
Having seen U2 twice in Sydney, (and, from what Im told, shrewdly deciding to not fork out the big bucks to see them last time they toured), I consider myself a bit of a fan. This song was always the biggest of them all for me. In fact, Ive been calling it my funeral song for a long while now, so for those in the know, theres no surprises that this song makes the cut. This particular clip comes live from Slane Castle in Ireland (I think). The power and the beauty of Where the Streets Have No Name
And finally, saving my personal favourite till last
Classic Australian rock to me is all about the Oils. They got me through my high school years and watched over me in the years thereafter. This particular clip, of The Dead Heart, is not an out and out rock intro like most of the others here, but I find it does the same thing: it gets the chest pounding and the soul stirring. If you cant be bothered watching any of the other You Tube clips, have a quick click on this and tell me you dont feel - something!
Once upon a time a young man by the name of Matty Allen (The Digger) sat down with a microphone, a Marantz, and me and started chatting about his reservations regarding the recently released movie Superman Returns.
I then edited a three minute conversation down to a 30 second promo, thinking; what the hey, I can use this for a uni assignment! And so it came to be.
Which brings us to the here and now...
In order to share audio, via the good people at Orble, you have to convert the audio file into video, and in order to do that BuddaBam! You Tube.
And so dear reader turned listener, I would like to present to you via the good copyright-free pictures of Wiki, and via the Windows Movie Maker program Ive had jammed on my computer for the past four years but only discovered last week a special audio slide show presentation of The Digger, mixing it with Funky. And Superman.
Ps no comments about the slide show thing its all about the audio!
Who wants to read something quick yet funny and educational all at the same time?
I read this in the Sydney Sun Herald the other morning. Now, for anyone who is a keen dieter, who has to lose a few pounds, you should really pay attention
According to Melissa Jenkins on ninemsn.com.au, Australians are fatter, drunker and have more sexually transmitted diseases than ever before. ("Australians 'fatter, drinking more'" Tues, June 24 2008)
Clearly we Aussies know how to have a good time. The most encouraging thing about the above statement is that while we are getting fatter, we are still getting laid, meaning no one could ever accuse us of being snobbish (like the Poms), weak (like the French), self-obsessed (like the Italians) or into animals (insert your own simile here
Tonight, rugby league named its Team of The Century. It is of course made up of Leagues immortals and a host of champions from across the decades filling the gaps.
I would firstly like to congratulate each and every individual who has made it to the Rugby League Hottest 100 CD. Nice work great to be voted as Australias favourite
Its been eight weeks since I earned a dollar, and my savings account is starting to run dry. I retired from my last job and moved to Sydney, keen to try the big city life. Everything was going great for a while too.
In terms of home entertainment, my new flat mates own a combined total of about 26,800 DVDs, 11,000 books and a Boonie doll, so that side of life is more than covered. There are free tennis courts and some cricket nets down the road, so my sporting needs are taken care of without spending a cent. Unfortunately, two of lifes most important vices, rent and beer, are taking their toll and I find myself in the position of needing to work and earn some money once again
Who would you love to be? Havent we all watched a film and thought wow, if only I could do that, or say that to the boss, or get her phone number, then how good would life be?
With our radio show being called Ive got a bad feeling about this, its evident enough that we are film fans. As The Jazzman often mumbles earnestly, everything Ive ever learnt in life has come from films
Gday mate - love watching the footy so I'll keep an eye out for your blog.
Hope you realise that if you put up a top 10 list, it is open to debate!!!
And I love a debate so I'll start...Nathan Merritt as a world cup bolter? hahahahahahahahaa
you are kidding! He's got as much chance as Michael Ennis has of ousting Smith, Buderus and Farah for the hooker's job...ie - none!
chow4now
Good review. Im a star wars man but am witing til tight-arse-tuesday to go see this one.
quick point from your whole fine review...Anakin was a jedi knight in Sith, not a padawan. He called Obi "Master" cause Obi was a Master, as opposed to a Knight.
Every country censors the internet - I think it's very important.
And ps...Don't worry folks, in two weeks time your TV's will all return to normal programming so you can all resume your lives, and jump off China and onto the next bandwagon that the Western media tells you to.
Hi there D Armenta,
Sorry about that, I had one foot in bed when I wrote that last night and completely forgot to mention your link specifically. I really appreciated the effort, what better way to respond to a blog full of you tube vids than with a you tube vid!
Now, Blues Brothers = top stuff. Great film, great music. Hell, contrary to popular opinion, i even loved Blues Brothers 2000! However, the link you sent as an intro to a rock song...no way! hahaha Semi-formulaic blues doesnt cut the mustard on this one!
But cheers for your ideas and i cant wait to read your blog on the matter (can you let me know when you write it)?
Hi Morgan and D Armenta - ta for having a read and for throwing your two cents worth in.
Anne - there's some heavy stuff there girl!
And James - yup tough gig picking 10...
I'm sitting here listening to Triple J and right at this moment "Killing in the Name" by Rage Against The Machine comes on. Another memorable intro to a song!
hello
Toothpaste and beer is another fun combo. hey, maybe that's why you should never have a drink straight after breakfast!
and just "Chris" is fine!
Say what?
People clean their teeth BEFORE breakfast?!!
I always thought you ate, then cleaned the food off your teeth after the eating thing.
Man, my parents have a lot of explaining to do...
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Comment by ChrisC
on Welcome to LeagueBot
The Dissector
Hope you realise that if you put up a top 10 list, it is open to debate!!!
And I love a debate so I'll start...Nathan Merritt as a world cup bolter? hahahahahahahahaa
you are kidding! He's got as much chance as Michael Ennis has of ousting Smith, Buderus and Farah for the hooker's job...ie - none!
chow4now