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The Social Centre is dead... well actually it's just sleeping. Forever.
But, stop wailing hysterically and head to www.litteration.wordpress.com for all my bloggy goodness.
Many of the bestest articles will be migrated to the new site - but all the cruddy ones will stay here.
See you on the other side! 
- Chris
Sepang’s familiar dark clouds loomed over the Malaysian circuit leading to anticipation of a thrilling rain-affected race. The downpour never came, but it wasn’t needed to add any excitement to an intriguing, eventful race where Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel romped away to make it two from two in 2011.
THE GLORIOUS
1. Sebastian Vettel. RBR (grid: 1)
Seb was once again an invincible force at Sepang. He snatched pole and sank Webber’s (who had been quicker in practice) buoyant hopes. The defending champ beat the field to the first corner and after that , it was game over. He built an insurmountable lead, and coasted to the end. Both McLarens made ground on Seb at different points in the race, but with a healthy gap, Vettel was never under serious pressure.
2. Jenson Button. McLaren (grid: 4)
Jenson wasn’t quite up to the pace of the sister McLaren in qualifying, but his trademark smoothness gave him an upper hand in the race, getting more life from tyres. By the end of the race, he was the fastest man on the road, and was able to easily shoot past Hamilton, who was floundering on worn rubber. Button was closing in on Vettel in the closing laps, but the gap was too vast to launch a meaningful assault. A very strong second place.
3. Nick Heidfeld. Renault (grid: 6)
Quick Nick brushed aside a horrendous debut for Renault in Australia, and ended the weekend with a bottle of champagne in his hands. Nick shone in qualifying, nabbing sixth and then deftly worked his way into second place off the start line. A poor pitstop dropped the German down the order, but he recovered and fought off a much-faster Webber in the final laps to hold onto a much-needed and thoroughly deserved podium place.
THE WORTHY
4. Mark Webber. RBR (grid: 3)
Webber’s disappointment in Melbourne was not quite atoned for in Sepang. Third again on the grid, Webber’s new KERS system failed before the race had even started. He was swamped off the line, and his high tyre wear required him to pit four times instead of three. To his credit. The Aussie showed some true pace in the latter stages, including setting the fastest race lap. But he couldn’t catch and pass Heidfeld for the podium and once again had to gaze up at his teammate standing atop the podium
5. Felipe Massa. Ferrari (grid: 7)
It was a solid, if unspectacular race for the Brazilian, but importantly he notched up more points than teammate Alonso. Massa showed some flashes of raw pace on the option tyres but was pretty soggy on the hard tyres – defenceless against Webber.
6. Fernando Alonso. Ferrari (grid: 5)
Quite an eventful race for Nando – fighting hard to a podium position, despite his 150 suffering a problem with its moveable rear wing. The Spaniard’s tough battle with a slower Lewis Hamilton cost him his nosecone – and later, a 20 second penalty, meaning sixth place was the best he could manage.
7. Kamui Kobayashi. Sauber (grid: 10)
Every time the camera cut to Kamui he was overtaking somebody – so it’s surprising he only managed to finish seventh. But seriously, the Sauber man was tremendously exciting around Sepang, battling, and beating Schumacher for a well-deserved seventh place.
8. Lewis Hamilton. McLaren (grid: 2)
Hamilton shone in qualifying, but couldn’t hold it all together for the race. He chewed his tyres up relentlessly and was penalised for it late in the race when he was sent tumbling down the order by cars with better kept rubber. He defended hard against Alonso, culminating in contact and a post-race penalty that dropped the 2008 champ down to 8th. Then came the whinging…
9. Michael Schumacher. Mercedes (grid 11)
Schumacher was unlucky to miss out on Q3 due to a malfunctioning DRS flap, but in the race the billion-times world champion displayed some of his experienced racecraft and battled long and hard to earn some points. All that’s needed is for that Mercedes to deliver and we may finally see the Schu on the podium again.
10. Paul di Resta. Force India (grid: 14)
Another excellent performance from the rookie Scot – he’s fast establishing himself as the cream of the new crop. He outqualified Sutil again and outraced him to earn another point.
THE POINTLESS
11. Adrian Sutil. Force India (grid: 17)
A poor qualifying lef the German with an uphill battle for points. He managed to gain some positions, but not enough.
12. Nico Rosberg. Mercedes (grid: 9)
Dreamboat Rosberg got off the line like a caterpillar in golden syrup – by the first corner he was well and truly out of contention and could not fight back.
13. Sebastian Buemi. Toro Rosso (grid: 12)
Toro Rosso struggled for pace at Sepang, and Buemi’s 13th was probably the best they could manage.
14. Jaime Alguesuari. Toro Rosso (grid: 13)
Kept at the heels of his teammate – but ultimately a mediocre performance.
15: Heikki Kovalainen. Lotus (gird: 19)
Heikki’s laps were getting nearer and nearer that hallowed midfield mark Lotus are gunning for – if they can keep focused, we may see the green cars mixing it in Q2.
16: Timo Glock. Virgin (grid: 21)
Timo must either be the most patient man in the world or a masochist, the Virgin is too slow for a man of his talent.
THE FALLEN
DNF: Vitaly Petrov. Renault (grid: 8)
Cause of Death: Kerb of Death 1 -Crash landing. The Russian must have had Dukes of Hazzard on TV in his hotel room, he sent his Renault sky high off a kerb and came down with the grace of a dropped watermelon.
DNF: Tonio Liuzzi. HRT (grid: 23)
Cause of Death: Rear Wing. HRT turned their Melbourne disappointment around by getting both cars well inside the 107% cutoff time. Liuzzi was the quicker of the two and was only 10 laps from home until his wing buggered up.
DNF: Jerome D’Ambrosio. Virgin (grid: 22)
Cause of Death: Kerb of Death 2 – Immobiliser. The rookie struggled to match Glock’s pace and was sent for an early bath when he banged into a kerb that cut off his engine.
DNF: Jarno Trulli. Lotus (grid: 20)
Cause of Death: Clutch. The winemaker was upbeat about his performance, but a clutch problem prevented him from exploring the car’s increasing potential.
DNF: Sergio Perez. Sauber (grid: 16)
Cause of Death: Achille’s Undertray. While battling with Buemi, a piece of the Toro Rosso flew off and hit Perez’s car, instantly killing it. A shame for the rookie who shone in Melbourne.
DNF: Rubens Barrichello. Williams (grid: 15)
Cause of Death: Transmission. Hydraulics. Bad qualifying – bad race… no Samba for Rubens.
DNF: Narain Karthikeyan. HRT (grid: 24)
Cause of Death: Hydraulics. Managed to line up for his first start since 2005, but was only able to last 14 laps.
DNF: Pastor Maldonado. Williams (grid: 18)
Cause of Death: Misfire: The Venezuelan had an even worse weekend than Rubens. Williams’ start to 2011 has been a shocker.
Formula One roared back into action in the golden afternoon of a Melbourne autumn. But there was to be no postcard serenity as Sebastien Vettel and Red Bull Racing confirmed their rivals’ biggest fears since the German won last year’s crown… yep, they are still unstoppable.
THE GLORIOUS
1. Sebastian Vettel. RBR (grid: 1)
The boy wonder strikes again, with a hammer blow of a season opening performance. The newly crowned champ kicked off his title defence perfectly, storming to a lights to flag victory. Like a gazelle prodded with a soldering iron, Seb’s pace in that shiny new RB7 was frightening for anyone not in a Red Bull team shirt… except maybe Webber, who was inexplicably well off the pace.
2. Lewis Hamilton. McLaren (grid: 2)
McLaren’s ordinary showings in winter testing seem to have been cured by the exhaust update package they brought to Melbourne. Hamilton managed to gap the Red Bulls and held position to the end in what was a pretty cruisey, easy drive. He even left Melbourne without getting arrested. A changed man do we see before us?
3. Vitaly Petrov. Renault (grid: 6)
Comrade Vitaly, hero of mother Russia! The man most famous for driving Alonso to new heights of frustration, finally demonstrated a bit of raw racing talent – taking his Renault all the way to a podium. He kept a brisk pace, and managed to jump the likes of Alonso (go figure), Webber and Button to claim his first ever podium.
THE WORTHY
4. Fernando Alonso. Ferrari (grid: 5)
Alonso, still smarting from the last-gasp collapse of his title ambitions last year, wanted to come out swinging. Unfortunately, his Ferrari F150 utility truck – sorry, F150 Italia (I always get that confused) was a little soggy around Albert Park. The Spaniard could wring enough pace to keep Webber behind him and score some decent points, but by his standards – it’s not the strongest start to a season.
5. Mark Webber. RBR (grid: 3)
The Aussie could only stand by and watch his team-mate tear his home soil a new proverbial . As Vettel marched ahead, Webber struggled on his tyres and actually fell down the order. His laps were at times a second slower than the sister RB7, prompting a lot of head scratching in his side of the garage. It’s early days, but should this become a trend, how long before the conspiracy -seekers out there (i.e. everybody) start asking questions. The most likely scenario though? Mark and Pirelli aren’t yet the best of mates.
6. Jenson Button. McLaren (grid: 4)
Jense had a Hamilton-sort of race, scrapping, cutting a corner, getting penalised and fighting back in a dogged fashion. He was one’ hooning’ charge away from completely stealing Lewis’ identity. He made a poor start and was stuck behind a rather slow Felipe Massa for several laps. He eventually overran a corner after an attempt to overtake, and was slapped with a drive through. But the Briton recovered and came home with a relatively decent collection of points.
7. Felipe Massa. Ferrari (grid: 8)
The Brazilian was far from impressive in Melbourne – his seventh place comes thanks to Sauber’s somehow illegal wing and subsequent disqualification. Massa crossed the line ninth, well and truly off the pace. He put up a stout defence in the face of Button’s frantic attacks, but he’ll need to find a bit more pace if he’s to have any chance of not becoming Fernando’s indentured servant. Remember, the team orders ‘rule’ is now gone…
8. Sebastien Buemi. Toro Rosso (grid: 10)
The other Seb did a good job in Melbourne, cracking Q3 and snapping up a point (three with Sauber’s disqualification). The Toro Rosso man will need to keep this sort of performance up with the whispers around the paddock that he will be at some point kindly asked to vacate his seat to make way for Red Bull’s newest prospect, Daniel Ricciardo.
9. Adrian Sutil. Force India (grid 16)
Force India came to Melbourne knowing the midfield will be as fierce a battlefield as ever, and to be honest, they were lucky to emerge with some points. Adrian and new teammate Paul Di Resta maintained a steady pace, and upon Sauber’s disqualification – were gifted the final two points positions.
10. Paul di Resta. Force India (grid: 14)
It was as good a debut as a rookie could hope for really. The Scot outqualified his more experienced teammate, finished the race without crashing into something and to top it off, he scored a sneaky little point in the end. Sutil will have good reason to use his mirrors this year.
THE POINTLESS
11. Jaime Alguersuari. Toro Rosso (grid: 12)
Beaten by Buemi, but still showed flashes of potential in the surprisingly quick Toro Rosso.
12. Nick Heidfeld. Renault (grid: 18)
Traffic in qualifying and a damaged car in the race made for a horror first outing for Nick as Kubica’s replacement.
13. Jarno Trulli. Lotus (grid: 20)
Jarno ensured Lotus were again the best of the now-not-so-newbies, but still well off the pace they’d hoped for
14. Jerome D’Ambrosio. Virgin (grid: 22)
He finished on debut. That’s alright.
THE FALLEN
DNF: Timo Glock. Virgin (grid: 21)
Cause of Death: Actually nothing, but the German had broken drive pegs and limped home.
DNF: Rubens Barrichello. Williams (grid: 17)
Cause of Death: Transmission. Rubens fought from down the order before he clanged into Rosberg.
DNF: Nico Rosberg. Mercedes (grid: 7)
Cause of Death: Rubens Barrichello. Battling along before a Brazilian came charging along.
DNF: Heikki Kovalainen. Lotus (gird: 19)
Cause of Death: Water Leak. So far Heikki has killed his Lotus by fire, and now water…
DNF: Michael Schumacher. Mercedes (grid: 11)
Cause of Death: puncture. Missed Q3 and was hit in the first corner. Forgettable.
DNF: Pastor Maldonado. Williams (grid: 15)
Cause of Death: Transmission. Solid enough in qualy and early laps on debut, but his FW33 wanted an early bath.
THE NAUGHTY
DNQ: Sergio Perez (Q: 13, R: 7) and Kamui Kobayashi (Q: 9, R: 8)
Tsk tsk, an impressive double-points finish for Sauber – including a very impressive seventh for Mexican rookie, Perez – was taken away when the FIA deemed the cars to have something dodgy going on with their rear wing. Sauber’s technical director James Key insists it’s a small matter of measurements and not performance enhancing. A shame, but thems the rules, boys.
THE NOTHING
Tonio Liuzzi and Narain Karthikeyan, HRT. DNQ
It’s been a while since the last DNQ in F1, Alex Yoong in a Minardi, unless I’m very much mistaken. HRT may be better off entering GP2 if they continue to fall so far outside the 107% rule.
Red Bull - Renault
Everyone’s tipping the RB7 to sweep up the championship like a possessed broom in the hands of a atomic janitor robot made from reverse-engineered alien technology. Indeed, but seriously, the team has all the right ingredients: a superstar chief designer who is in his element; a pragmatic and fresh-thinking team boss; and two fast, determined drivers. Vettel and Webber’s fiery rivalry should be better managed this year and one of them should be champ – if the car is as good as it’s looked in pre-season.
EXPECT: Wins, wins, spy vs spy-style rivalry antics and more wins
[ Click here to read more ]
The battle for the driver’s title took another dramatic step towards the wire in Brazil. Red Bull clinched their first ever constructor’s championship and ensured Ferrari’s Fernando Alonso would not be allowed to slip away with the title. Sebastian Vettel’s victory brought him closer to a once unlikely title prospect – and has promised a tantalising three-way showdown in Abu Dhabi.
[ Click here to read more ]
Following the party atmosphere of Singapore, F1 returned to an old-fashioned, driver’s circuit in Japan, where high-downforce, courage and finesse were needed to tame the snaking Suzuka circuit. Torrential rain pounded the track on Saturday, postponing qualifying – but the skies cleared on Sunday and the title contenders resumed their battle for the ultimate prize.
[ Click here to read more ]
September 27th 2010 01:19
The dazzling night-time Singapore Grand Prix is quickly establishing itself as Formula One’s party-event. Tickets sold out, Missy Elliot put her thing down, flipped it and reversed it – and the drivers held nothing back as they attacked the street circuit. Different strategies kept people guessing how the race would wash out – and there was an obligatory controversial collision between a Red Bull and another car.
[ Click here to read more ]
Politicians should never be left to squabble alone. Tonight, our two leaders finally managed to get themselves into the same room to bicker about who’s got a bigger stimulus package and whose broadband network proposal is the patchiest. But this only came after they first bickered over how they would do a debate, where they’d do it, what to wear and so on. Finally, they settled on an RSL in Brisbane to have a tame ‘forum’. There wasn’t even any fervour in the dozen-strong geriatric audience… just the smell of brill cream and false teeth grinding in boredom.
[ Click here to read more ]
On the twisty asphalt maze that is the Hungaroring, Red Bull recaptured the initiative in the 2010 championship with a crushing turn of speed. The now infamous rivalry within the team resumed, with Webber and Vettel squared off on equal points on the ladder. Ferrari too continued their newfound speed, while McLaren had an afternoon they’d rather forget.
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Team politics were once again dominating headlines as Formula 1 swept through the Bavarian forests of Germany. This time however, it wasn’t the internal tug-of-war at Red Bull causing drama, but rather Ferrari returning to notoriety with some dubious team orders
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Comment by ChrisB
on What are you really saying?
Formula 1
The Social Centre
I have no idea about over the moon - though if i were to guess i'd say it originated from ancient egyptian high jumpers, whose coaches told them to aim to jump over Yah - the moon god. Close?