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September 23rd 2006 02:49
So....just from pure observation, and talking from experience as well, why are there people who are only attracted to people they can never ever have? Why do they have to put themselves in such a position and torture themselves, knowing full well that those that they love are pretty unattainable, unreachable?
Is it because they have an issue with commitment and therefore by being attracted to the unreachable, unattainable, it saves them from every commiting to anything?
Is it because by reaching for the unreachable, their love life will always remain a fairy tale and the reality of knowing if there could be a chance will not matter, becoz its just a fanatasy that is well-preserved? That way, there will never be broken hearts as there was really nothing to begin with. THat way, there will only be happy memories of admiring, and loving the significant other from afar.
Cher
September 19th 2006 08:42
In our society, we have come to believe that discomfort always means something is wrong. We are conditioned to believe that feelings of distress, pain, deprivation, yearning, and longing mean something is wrong with the way we are living our lives.
Conversely, we are convinced that a rightly lived life must give us serenity, completion, and fulfillment. Comfort means "right" and distress means "wrong." The influence of such convictions is stifling to the human spirit. Individually and collectively, we must somehow recover the truth. The truth is, we were never meant to be completely satisfied.
Somehow these thoghts put the tough days of singleness in a bigger and better light for many of us.
Cher
September 18th 2006 12:32
I found myself viewing my singleness a bit differently after reading a quote by C.S. Lewis:
"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
While I know this isn't the context he was talking about, his words made me think about my desire to get married. Not that it's a bad desire, but if this is my highest and greatest desire right now, maybe I'm not thinking big enough. Perhaps marriage is the "mud pie" in my life and God wants to give me "a holiday at the sea" by doing some work in or though my singleness. I don't want to limit him with my short-sightedness. So while I still talk to him about my desire to get married someday, I also pray bigger, messier, more open-ended prayers about desiring his best for my life even more.
Cher
September 12th 2006 09:20
It's been a while since my last entry. Well this time round it something you guys might want to remember. Hehehe....*cheeky smilez*
Many times girls get so caught up with expectations of the world. Tough world out there! Girls hear the messages: You are not enough, and You are too much. You're too messy, too emotional, too fat, too thin, too vain, too confident. So much has been said that we get confuse and loose the real essence of being all the God wants us to be and forget the true desires of our hearts
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September 11th 2006 01:49
CHEMISTRY......it's more than just the typical Hollywood sexual chemistry; it's much deeper. It' s flirting with each other, knowing the right thing to say to each other, making each other laugh, feeling we can completely be who we really are around each other.
It's how one can easily say "I love you," or when we call each other "honey" or "sweetie" and it all seems so natural. I define that as chemistry because it's a feeling I don't have with my male friends or female platonic friends. So its not about sex; Hollywood chemistry seems to be more about lust; real chemistry is more about attraction to the whole person
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As I pondered why Christian singles aren't dating very much, I was tempted to point fingers in different directions—from the latest Christian book on dating to the moral decline of our society. But it's my contention that we've lost the idea that dating, in its purest sense, is about pleasure. It's pleasurable to see a person smile when they're surprised by your thoughtfulness. It's pleasurable to hear a person's dreams. It's pleasurable to plan an event that will make the other person happy.
Instead, we've allowed that pleasure to be degraded and as a result created a system of dating that's more like a big checklist for compatibility. Do you see yourself having children? Check. Where do you see yourself in five years? Check. Do you speak my love language? Check. This sounds more like a job interview than an experience in pleasure. We enjoy job interviews about as much as a trip to the dentist. Romance was never designed to be a job interview
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People always say: women have a stronger sense of intuition about things than men. To a certain extend i agree. Women are more in-tuned with what's happening around their environment. THey are more aware, more sensitive to details. While men are only in-tuned or aware about things that only affects them directly.
However lately it seems that when it comes to love and relationships, I find myself slowly loosing faith in my intuition. I'm still really accurate at spotting pre-mature relationships between people. Predicting who is interested in whom and whether or not they are compatible with each other. However, it seems that i'm unable to do it for myself. I don't seem to trust myself when it comes to reading signals for myself. Reminds me of HITCH the movie. *on a side note, that is a cute movie
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A question that many of us ask ourselves: HOW LONG MORE DO I HAVE TO WAIT BEFORE I FALL IN LOVE? Be honest, i'm sure if you've been dateless for the pass 8months that question keeps lingering at the back of your mind. I do. I mean, i'm only 20 and i'm asking myself that question.
It's funny how there are days where i love being single and free from being attached to another. But there are days where i soul-search myself and ask myself, what's wrong with me? Are my standards that high or am i that not worth being pursued? The waiting for that day where the heavens give you the green light to fall in love with the person you want to fall in love with. How long more
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My girl friend and i love to pair any single woman we know with a man we consider to be perfect for her. I can't count the number of times we tried that and our single girlfriends would just give us that firm 'Don't u even dare think about it' glare.
Honestly, it is hard for a guy to meet a girl out there because there are so many to choose from. And for the girls, its hard to meet a guy, because there aren't a large pool to look from. Its a fact, there are more females than males walking on this earth. So there are two options: first, they can wait for the perfect guy/gal to cross their paths. Secondly, they can allow a caring friend to introduce him/her to a potential significant other
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So i'm a church-goer and am pretty involve with church life. That's besides the point. The point is... ...
NO ONE SEEMS TO BE IN THE DATING SCENE AT CHURCH!! What is up with that?
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Comment by Cher
on The Unreachable, Unthinkable and Unattainable
So are you too....desperate with standards? (**hmmm.. another entry for another time)