Change is an interesting phenomenon.
May 28th 2010 06:55
Some people love change, thrive on it and cannot act unless change is so imminent in their lives that they are galvanised into action.
Some people plan change, design it and organise a whole direction and life in anticipation of change and thus they feel they have complete control over it.
Some people run far, far away from change, preferring to remain in their cosy rut, sand box, shady cupboard, even if their lives are not happy at all; because change is absolutely terrifying.
Some people welcome change as a time for moving on, for developing new skills and interests, for getting out of a place where life had become dull and tedious. It was, in fact, time for change.
Maybe you find my categories too limiting. Maybe you have found yourself in each of the above scenarios at different times in your life. But I don’t doubt you will have had to deal with change, relish it or hate it, because it is just a fact of life.
When I was young, I was in the first category as I got bored with life easily and believed the only way to be stimulated again was to make changes, usually dramatic ones like changing where I lived, changing the love interest in my life, changing jobs, doing a different kind of training. Over time, this attitude changed.
I decided that I needed to be in the second category because if change was inevitable, I was darn well going to decide how and where and when it was going to happen to me. Chance could take me into places I didn’t want to go to, with people I was not interested in being with. I thought I had the power to create exactly what I knew was best for me. Then I discovered this was a false belief.
I found out that operating from the second category revealed that I was really a closet third category person. I didn’t like that at all. My ego did not like to consider itself as fearful. Wasn’t I just being careful, cautious, thinking responsibly?
Now, I have found that working from the fourth category, while still incorporating ideas from the second category, is what works best for me. And I haven’t got here without making some errors and getting into a few scrapes along the way. As the Arabic saying says: Trust in God, but tie up your camel. Only don’t make that leash so tight that you wear a hole in the sandbox going in ever decreasing circles. The point is to climb out of it altogether.
A lot of my changing attitudes came from going to a workshop in Brisbane, Australia a number of years ago, which was presented by an American author named Mary Carroll Moore. She wrote a book called ‘How to Master Change in Your Life: Sixty-seven Ways to Handle Life’s Toughest Moments’. This book and her workshop truly did change my life. MCM also did a workshop on writing which make me see my own potential in amazing ways. You can Google her to find out more if you are interested. By the way, following training I went on to present the workshop myself to groups of people who also found it life changing.
I am going to share with you an exercise I do maybe 2 or 3 times during the year that I first learned the basics about during that workshop. The thing about picking up exercises and ideas along the way is that you can modify them to suit your own perspective and I have modified this somewhat. The most important thing is to put as much positive thought, energy and love into it each time you do it.
Maybe you think it’s weird to put love into something. I expect you are very familiar with positive thinking and positive energy. Maybe you have tried writing and visualisation exercises before, with people who tell you that you can achieve anything you want, that you have amazing power inside you to make effective changes in your life. Well, they are actually talking truth but maybe not the whole truth.
The most amazing power and energy that exists is love. And love is more powerful that thought because it is more pure, more honest and has fewer limitations. I recommend that you look back in your own life and try to remember when you felt loved and when you gave love. How did you feel at that time? How did the givers or recipients feel at the time? What was shared? Hold those thoughts and feelings because you are now tuned into the power of love.
So back to this change exercise: first you need to have a goal or direction. You need already to be aware of the change coming up and be thinking of the effects it could have on you and your life. Try to focus on benefits if you can. If this is not a change of your own choosing, try to focus on acceptance and what you can learn from it.
NB You cannot change others; you can only change yourself. You may cause some effect on others but they will make their own change. Even if others are going to be involved in this change, you must still only focus on yourself during this exercise.
For example, if this change is going to alter your family’s life, you may need to be the leader of it. If this change is going to alter what is currently happening in your workplace, you need to detach from that outcome.
Now you have the change in mind, write it down in big bold letters; print it out size 14/16 if you are working with a computer; and have it up front looking at you.
If this change isn’t happening already, you probably have to look at yourself to see what is needed that is different from who and what you are now.
Next thing to consider: what do you have to change about yourself to bring this change into effect?
Are you disciplined/organised enough to do the work to bring it about? Do you need to be on the lookout for opportunities, develop your awareness? Should you work on getting yourself in a more balanced perspective, calm those fears, get positive about this change? Might you need courage, imagination, generosity of spirit, vision, determination, audacity, hope, joyful anticipation, optimism, acceptance, tolerance or what..?
These are qualities and attitudes which can bring about change in you that can bring about change in your life. Take some time to select 5 or 6, no more than that. You are still having your human experience, and minds and bodies can only achieve so much at one time. Life expands in stages.
Now comes the fun part. I have done this using magazines, cardboard, pictures, cut out words, glue, coloured pens and all manner of creative stuff. But I am not arty and it suits me better to use my computer; rummage through Google images, websites and places where you get free downloads. The dimensions can be as big as you like, A4, A3. This gives you the opportunity to open your creative imagination and see what happens.
You now create a chart or diagram: in the centre is the goal/direction which has been looking at you all through of your previous thinking. Surrounding this are the 5/6 qualities/attitudes which you have selected to help you reach this goal. All must be positive and one word if possible.
Try to keep the feeling that love brings in your mind because you are putting that into your goals and into yourself all through this exercise.
Then you begin looking for images that reflect each of these qualities. There are no limits on what you find, except they must be positive. I would suggest that 3-4 images is sufficient for each one. If this collage becomes too busy, the focus may also become too busy and lose its effectiveness.
I have just completed my second change collage for this year. I did one in January when I thought my life was going in a certain direction. My life changed completely a month ago and it was definitely time to take stock and re-evaluate life. Since I do this on my computer, I create a diagram using boxes or circles, and I am no tech whiz, I simply use easy tools available in word like Wordart and lots of colour. Remember you are trying to put the most positive energy you can into this change collage.
Another thing I do is look for an inspirational quotation that fits in with each quality/attitude I think I need to have.
Here are two examples from my finished collage: LOVE for example has images from my own pictures of my family. The quotation is: And pure love – why some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there. COURAGE has a big purple arrow aiming up, a cartoon about overcoming fear and doing what you want to do, and the quotation: Courage is grace under pressure.
I am sure you have got the idea. This time, I have also added another modification to the exercise. I am in mnemonics which I use as a learning tool. I have taken my qualities/attitudes and turned them into a word, using first letters only. eg Optimism, Courage, Hope, Tenacity could become CHOT. I have turned my 6 words into such, used Wordart to make it look funky and laminated it as a card to keep in my wallet. It becomes my private word that I remind myself of to keep focussing during the day.
HINT Make this fun! You can do whatever you want to make the act of bringing positive change into your life as interesting and enjoyable as you like.
My collage sits on the wall directly under the lamp which sits beside my computer. I see it and put energy into it every day. I accept I may not get exactly the kind of change in my life that I currently think I want because I have given away the outcome to God. However, my life will change because I have set the expectancy for it to happen into motion. I will also be holding onto the attitude in the fourth category.
Good luck with your change...
Some people plan change, design it and organise a whole direction and life in anticipation of change and thus they feel they have complete control over it.
Some people run far, far away from change, preferring to remain in their cosy rut, sand box, shady cupboard, even if their lives are not happy at all; because change is absolutely terrifying.
Some people welcome change as a time for moving on, for developing new skills and interests, for getting out of a place where life had become dull and tedious. It was, in fact, time for change.
Maybe you find my categories too limiting. Maybe you have found yourself in each of the above scenarios at different times in your life. But I don’t doubt you will have had to deal with change, relish it or hate it, because it is just a fact of life.
When I was young, I was in the first category as I got bored with life easily and believed the only way to be stimulated again was to make changes, usually dramatic ones like changing where I lived, changing the love interest in my life, changing jobs, doing a different kind of training. Over time, this attitude changed.
I decided that I needed to be in the second category because if change was inevitable, I was darn well going to decide how and where and when it was going to happen to me. Chance could take me into places I didn’t want to go to, with people I was not interested in being with. I thought I had the power to create exactly what I knew was best for me. Then I discovered this was a false belief.
I found out that operating from the second category revealed that I was really a closet third category person. I didn’t like that at all. My ego did not like to consider itself as fearful. Wasn’t I just being careful, cautious, thinking responsibly?
Now, I have found that working from the fourth category, while still incorporating ideas from the second category, is what works best for me. And I haven’t got here without making some errors and getting into a few scrapes along the way. As the Arabic saying says: Trust in God, but tie up your camel. Only don’t make that leash so tight that you wear a hole in the sandbox going in ever decreasing circles. The point is to climb out of it altogether.
A lot of my changing attitudes came from going to a workshop in Brisbane, Australia a number of years ago, which was presented by an American author named Mary Carroll Moore. She wrote a book called ‘How to Master Change in Your Life: Sixty-seven Ways to Handle Life’s Toughest Moments’. This book and her workshop truly did change my life. MCM also did a workshop on writing which make me see my own potential in amazing ways. You can Google her to find out more if you are interested. By the way, following training I went on to present the workshop myself to groups of people who also found it life changing.
I am going to share with you an exercise I do maybe 2 or 3 times during the year that I first learned the basics about during that workshop. The thing about picking up exercises and ideas along the way is that you can modify them to suit your own perspective and I have modified this somewhat. The most important thing is to put as much positive thought, energy and love into it each time you do it.
Maybe you think it’s weird to put love into something. I expect you are very familiar with positive thinking and positive energy. Maybe you have tried writing and visualisation exercises before, with people who tell you that you can achieve anything you want, that you have amazing power inside you to make effective changes in your life. Well, they are actually talking truth but maybe not the whole truth.
The most amazing power and energy that exists is love. And love is more powerful that thought because it is more pure, more honest and has fewer limitations. I recommend that you look back in your own life and try to remember when you felt loved and when you gave love. How did you feel at that time? How did the givers or recipients feel at the time? What was shared? Hold those thoughts and feelings because you are now tuned into the power of love.
So back to this change exercise: first you need to have a goal or direction. You need already to be aware of the change coming up and be thinking of the effects it could have on you and your life. Try to focus on benefits if you can. If this is not a change of your own choosing, try to focus on acceptance and what you can learn from it.
NB You cannot change others; you can only change yourself. You may cause some effect on others but they will make their own change. Even if others are going to be involved in this change, you must still only focus on yourself during this exercise.
For example, if this change is going to alter your family’s life, you may need to be the leader of it. If this change is going to alter what is currently happening in your workplace, you need to detach from that outcome.
Now you have the change in mind, write it down in big bold letters; print it out size 14/16 if you are working with a computer; and have it up front looking at you.
If this change isn’t happening already, you probably have to look at yourself to see what is needed that is different from who and what you are now.
Next thing to consider: what do you have to change about yourself to bring this change into effect?
Are you disciplined/organised enough to do the work to bring it about? Do you need to be on the lookout for opportunities, develop your awareness? Should you work on getting yourself in a more balanced perspective, calm those fears, get positive about this change? Might you need courage, imagination, generosity of spirit, vision, determination, audacity, hope, joyful anticipation, optimism, acceptance, tolerance or what..?
These are qualities and attitudes which can bring about change in you that can bring about change in your life. Take some time to select 5 or 6, no more than that. You are still having your human experience, and minds and bodies can only achieve so much at one time. Life expands in stages.
Now comes the fun part. I have done this using magazines, cardboard, pictures, cut out words, glue, coloured pens and all manner of creative stuff. But I am not arty and it suits me better to use my computer; rummage through Google images, websites and places where you get free downloads. The dimensions can be as big as you like, A4, A3. This gives you the opportunity to open your creative imagination and see what happens.
You now create a chart or diagram: in the centre is the goal/direction which has been looking at you all through of your previous thinking. Surrounding this are the 5/6 qualities/attitudes which you have selected to help you reach this goal. All must be positive and one word if possible.
Try to keep the feeling that love brings in your mind because you are putting that into your goals and into yourself all through this exercise.
Then you begin looking for images that reflect each of these qualities. There are no limits on what you find, except they must be positive. I would suggest that 3-4 images is sufficient for each one. If this collage becomes too busy, the focus may also become too busy and lose its effectiveness.
I have just completed my second change collage for this year. I did one in January when I thought my life was going in a certain direction. My life changed completely a month ago and it was definitely time to take stock and re-evaluate life. Since I do this on my computer, I create a diagram using boxes or circles, and I am no tech whiz, I simply use easy tools available in word like Wordart and lots of colour. Remember you are trying to put the most positive energy you can into this change collage.
Another thing I do is look for an inspirational quotation that fits in with each quality/attitude I think I need to have.
Here are two examples from my finished collage: LOVE for example has images from my own pictures of my family. The quotation is: And pure love – why some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there. COURAGE has a big purple arrow aiming up, a cartoon about overcoming fear and doing what you want to do, and the quotation: Courage is grace under pressure.
I am sure you have got the idea. This time, I have also added another modification to the exercise. I am in mnemonics which I use as a learning tool. I have taken my qualities/attitudes and turned them into a word, using first letters only. eg Optimism, Courage, Hope, Tenacity could become CHOT. I have turned my 6 words into such, used Wordart to make it look funky and laminated it as a card to keep in my wallet. It becomes my private word that I remind myself of to keep focussing during the day.
HINT Make this fun! You can do whatever you want to make the act of bringing positive change into your life as interesting and enjoyable as you like.
My collage sits on the wall directly under the lamp which sits beside my computer. I see it and put energy into it every day. I accept I may not get exactly the kind of change in my life that I currently think I want because I have given away the outcome to God. However, my life will change because I have set the expectancy for it to happen into motion. I will also be holding onto the attitude in the fourth category.
Good luck with your change...
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