"Cant sleep, ""Pain!!"
May 19th 2007 10:05
not pain that makes you cry, except maybe from pure exhaustion. but enough pain to make you not be able to fall asleep and anoy you. worse, i have pain in my arms and legs, but on top of it they are tingly and numbish. it keeps feeling like someone is pouring warm water into my feet,legs, or arms. just bouncing around here or there. i laid down starting at about 4:00 am. when i couldn't fall alseep, hubby woke up and we made up for lost time. <smiles> he jumped in the shower and headed to work. i thought that may knock me out, but nope. i tossed and turned awhile. starting to "start" to cry from frustration, then gave up at 5:30 and finally got up. it's a misty morning out.
our town here in PA.
i relaxed all day today! i'll relax again tomarow. [well, that would be today i guess]. Theres a fundraising spaghetti dinner the youth are throwing today at church. Kaitlyn and Krystina are going to work it. Charlie will pick me up after work and we'll go buy our tickets and eat there. it's an outdoor pick nick. i hope i can finally get some sleep after some time this morning. he won't be here until about four.
we heard bad news today. The charter aiprot down the street had a death. The wife died. her husband is wheel chair bound, and i'm not sure how things will be for him now. i felt a huge drop when charlie told me. Kaitlyn started crying when i told her. we didn't know them very well except hi's but when Kaittlyn would ride her horse down past there, the lady would always come out and talk to her. telling her about her horses she use to have. They have a dog named Gus. we say Hi to him EVERY single time we drive past his Kennel and have been doing so for the three or soo years we've lived here. i wonder what will come of him. wonder what will come of her husband. i wonder what will come of the airport. death is sad. we attend church now for two years [about] and there are lots of realy old people there taht we have become super close to. it will be very hard when they start to pass. mymom is not doing super well. her head was bald last time i went to see hr. no one warned me and so i was shocked when i walked in. everytime i leave her, i wonder if i'll see her again. she can't walk, so i know life is very hard and un satisfying for her. it doesn't make it mutch easier though. i LOVE her and can't imagine not being able to see her anymore. i'm also worried wether she'll be able to see me when i'm chainging or durring "you know".
nothings on TV at 6:00 AM is there. maybe news. Yep, news. News is good. i don't watch much while i work, but when interesting things come on, i do.
The ringing in my ears is sooo strong. i'm glad my flair up waited until after the trip. i feel acky all over. my shoulders, rist, fingers, shins, ect. nothing going on, so i can get plenty of rest. not sit still rest or the pain gets too anoying, but typing, painting, sitting stuff. it'll pass. it always does. this house is cold. it's suppose to be almost seventy and sunny today. maybe i can open some windows.
Tammy
we heard bad news today. The charter aiprot down the street had a death. The wife died. her husband is wheel chair bound, and i'm not sure how things will be for him now. i felt a huge drop when charlie told me. Kaitlyn started crying when i told her. we didn't know them very well except hi's but when Kaittlyn would ride her horse down past there, the lady would always come out and talk to her. telling her about her horses she use to have. They have a dog named Gus. we say Hi to him EVERY single time we drive past his Kennel and have been doing so for the three or soo years we've lived here. i wonder what will come of him. wonder what will come of her husband. i wonder what will come of the airport. death is sad. we attend church now for two years [about] and there are lots of realy old people there taht we have become super close to. it will be very hard when they start to pass. mymom is not doing super well. her head was bald last time i went to see hr. no one warned me and so i was shocked when i walked in. everytime i leave her, i wonder if i'll see her again. she can't walk, so i know life is very hard and un satisfying for her. it doesn't make it mutch easier though. i LOVE her and can't imagine not being able to see her anymore. i'm also worried wether she'll be able to see me when i'm chainging or durring "you know".
The ringing in my ears is sooo strong. i'm glad my flair up waited until after the trip. i feel acky all over. my shoulders, rist, fingers, shins, ect. nothing going on, so i can get plenty of rest. not sit still rest or the pain gets too anoying, but typing, painting, sitting stuff. it'll pass. it always does. this house is cold. it's suppose to be almost seventy and sunny today. maybe i can open some windows.
Tammy
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Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
I was so sorry to hear about your neighbor losing his wife. Praying he'll be OK. Your mom, too.
Jeanne
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
from someone who knows almost exactly what you're going through, you have my best wishes and heartfelt prayers...
I've been going down this road for nearly 10 yeras now and sleep very poften elludes me as well...mostly due to pain..
Do try and take care of yourself for Charlie and the kids....get some rest, meditate before bed...
Sometimes, it helps...
Welcome home my zen friend,
Your zen buddy,
Nick
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Best wishes,
Tracy
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
...not the same pain... but pain, none-the-less. Due to medical negligence, I have been a chronic pain sufferer for nearly 12 years and know well how it keeps you up at night.
There is so much that could be said here, and so little that can be done...I wish your pain ends soon..and peace can return to your world.
If your pain is to of a permanent nature then you must try to find the blessing within it, to use as the strength you need, to live with it.
Lilla ...
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Tammy
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
i've been getting these boughts of pain a few years now. they are just more often now. use to be every six months about with horrible dizziness. even feel down two sets of stairs. Then i learned when i have pain, to not turn fast or stand up fast. no diagnosis. have had MRI's and cat scans just a couple times, but by time you get in to the specialist the pain is gone. boughts over. once i lost 80% of my hearing "just like taht" doc said, "Take these pills, go home but don't get your hopes up, only 1% get their hearing back, and the Tenitus will NEVER go away. withing three days all but about 20% of my hearing was back. Tinutus still here but i'm use to it now. <smiles> Tammy
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Tammy
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
The way i deal is get up, and gte on the puter. not lay there and wallow. <smiles> doing something like puter, painting or such helps keep my mind off of it all. i gte horriblae charlie horses in my caves taht don't go away. if i do the gazell it seems to help it break up and go away.
Take care my friend!!!
Tammy
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I hope you manage to find a cure soon for your pain or at least something that will help alleviate it. I suffer from chronic pain myself due to a neglected childhood injury so I know it can be so frustrating trying to sleep or do simple things at times. Like you say sometimes the best thing is to just get up and find something to keep your mind occupied until your body is too weary and finally crashes for a little while.
ash
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
take care!!! Tammy