Cancer: The Other Side of the Tracks
August 21st 2007 12:12
This was prompted by Brenton's piece.
One year ago, a distant friend of a friend was diagnosed with Cancer. I was shocked, and saddened, and appropriately sympathetic, and that’s as far as my emotions went. Four months later, my only sister was diagnosed with Leukemia. At first I was horrified and scared and panicked. But then later, when I’d fully experienced the true horror,
i don’t even know how to put this into words
It was all just ghastlyterrifyingnightmarish, can’t breathe, if she twitches your heart goes from 70 beats to 130 in a half a second, ohgodshe’sgoingtodie, how can I live without her, why should i? how is this fair? They’re killing her…made the wrong decision, no sleep for days on end then collapsing, eyes red and puffed with nights and days of crying, silence…so much silence, no one has anything to say, what can you say? She’s so lonely, even when I hold her tight and tell her I love her, she’s lonely. Don’t leave me by myself, don’t go, you can’t leave me here to live. You live, I’ll go, I’d rather that way then having to hurt so much the rest of my life…dad’s crying, he never cries.
I believe that no one really understands what it is that makes Cancer so shocking. No one (unless they’ve lived it) truly knows why it is they sound so shocked when they hear of someone being diagnosed. It’s probably because the word itself has negative connotations. Before it all happened, I didn’t even know why I’d gasp, all I knew about Cancer was that it probably hurts, it’s deadly, it makes you sick. Basic things like that, and I don’t blame anyone for thinking that way.
So, for those who have stomachs strong enough, let me begin educate you, in great detail, about what exactly happens to a Cancer patient.
Because anyone can get Cancer, it will almost always be a massive shock to the patient and their family. A big shock, a shock that will have you frozen for days, sleepless for nights, and crying for weeks. Denial sometimes follows, though I believe that almost always the question of mortality will be raised. Will I live? Is it curable?
Hopefully, it will be curable, and depending on the kind of cancer you’ve got (acute-fast killing, or chronic-slow killing) you’ll be rushed to the best hospital in the area to begin treatment.
Now I can’t tell you about radiotherapy or surgeries, but if you have Leukemia, I think everyone gets Chemotherapy, of this I’m not sure however. But I’m going to stick to what I know. So...chemotherapy? What happens there?
Well, to understand what chemo does, first you’ve got to know what went wrong inside your body. With leukemia, your bone marrow, which is where all your cells are created – red cells, white cells, platelets- makes some kind of mistake and instead of producing a healthy cell (let’s pretend our bone marrow is our factory), it produces a dud. This dud loves making more duds, so soon we’ve got a whole lot of duds, and then that’s what we call cancer.
So, chemo…basically, the patient is filled with harsh drugs for a maximum of one week, this is called one cycle. These drugs enter your body and are pre-programmed to target duds and kill them off. Unfortunately, during that process, lots of your healthy cells are killed too.
From what I can remember the doctors telling me, it takes about 2-3 weeks for your ‘factory’ to restart making healthy fresh new cells.
So, in that time, you’re left with strange cytotoxins running through your system, continuously killing off good and bad cells. Side effects?
- Obviously, your hair will soon fall out, within a week or two. And I’m talking about EVERY hair. Eyelashes, brows, sideburns, underarm hair, leg hair, pubic hair. Everything goes. Maybe you’re one of the lucky few, and your hair might stay, maybe not.
- Continuous nausea. Followed by vomiting. Now, think about how grotesque it is to vomit. Imagine doing that 5-6 times a day. All over yourself because it’s such a surprise. All over your mum, your bed, your friends.
- Diahhorrea, need I elaborate?
- You will need blood infusions, you will need platelet infusions.
- You become sterile. Male or female, at this very moment in time you cannot conceive any more. Of course, maybe a few months down the track once you’re healthy again, your sterility will no longer be an issue.
- You will be pricked so many times that you’ll scream to have a pick line put in your arm, just so you don’t have to feel another needle again.
- You won’t sleep, even during the night. Nurses will come in every few hours to change things, to change you, to check things and to check you.
- The beeping. Oh God, the beeping of the machines telling you that ‘yes GodDAMMIT this bag of fluid is FINISHED’.
- Sick family or friends have to stay away from you, because obviously you don’t have any platelets or white cells to fight away viruses and the like, and your immunity system is down. So, you avoid any sickness like the plague, and stay in your hospital room, and get very, very homesick.
- Everything has to be super clean before you touch. You bathe often, watch yourself carefully for any sign of ANYTHING that’s not normal: flu, rashes, bumps, changes in skin colour, weight gain/loss.
- You report EVERYTHING and ANYTHING new to the doctors, straight away. I’m not kidding. Any small thing must be told. Small things tend to grow into big things in people who have no immunity system, very quickly.
So, if you’re lucky, and you’d better pray to whatever God you believe in that you are, after about three weeks hopefully your bone marrow will kick into gear and start creating new cells for your body. And maybe a month later, you’ll happily go home again. Most likely you’ll come for another cycle or two and that’s the end of your Cancer.
So, that’s the good stuff. It can get much, much worse.
I don’t think I have the stomach right now to tell you about all the other things that can happen if you’re unlucky. And to remember. So maybe in a few days.
Family and Health are everything. To be continued…
Thankyou
Hail Animus
One year ago, a distant friend of a friend was diagnosed with Cancer. I was shocked, and saddened, and appropriately sympathetic, and that’s as far as my emotions went. Four months later, my only sister was diagnosed with Leukemia. At first I was horrified and scared and panicked. But then later, when I’d fully experienced the true horror,
i don’t even know how to put this into words
It was all just ghastlyterrifyingnightmarish, can’t breathe, if she twitches your heart goes from 70 beats to 130 in a half a second, ohgodshe’sgoingtodie, how can I live without her, why should i? how is this fair? They’re killing her…made the wrong decision, no sleep for days on end then collapsing, eyes red and puffed with nights and days of crying, silence…so much silence, no one has anything to say, what can you say? She’s so lonely, even when I hold her tight and tell her I love her, she’s lonely. Don’t leave me by myself, don’t go, you can’t leave me here to live. You live, I’ll go, I’d rather that way then having to hurt so much the rest of my life…dad’s crying, he never cries.
I believe that no one really understands what it is that makes Cancer so shocking. No one (unless they’ve lived it) truly knows why it is they sound so shocked when they hear of someone being diagnosed. It’s probably because the word itself has negative connotations. Before it all happened, I didn’t even know why I’d gasp, all I knew about Cancer was that it probably hurts, it’s deadly, it makes you sick. Basic things like that, and I don’t blame anyone for thinking that way.
So, for those who have stomachs strong enough, let me begin educate you, in great detail, about what exactly happens to a Cancer patient.
Because anyone can get Cancer, it will almost always be a massive shock to the patient and their family. A big shock, a shock that will have you frozen for days, sleepless for nights, and crying for weeks. Denial sometimes follows, though I believe that almost always the question of mortality will be raised. Will I live? Is it curable?
Hopefully, it will be curable, and depending on the kind of cancer you’ve got (acute-fast killing, or chronic-slow killing) you’ll be rushed to the best hospital in the area to begin treatment.
Now I can’t tell you about radiotherapy or surgeries, but if you have Leukemia, I think everyone gets Chemotherapy, of this I’m not sure however. But I’m going to stick to what I know. So...chemotherapy? What happens there?
Well, to understand what chemo does, first you’ve got to know what went wrong inside your body. With leukemia, your bone marrow, which is where all your cells are created – red cells, white cells, platelets- makes some kind of mistake and instead of producing a healthy cell (let’s pretend our bone marrow is our factory), it produces a dud. This dud loves making more duds, so soon we’ve got a whole lot of duds, and then that’s what we call cancer.
So, chemo…basically, the patient is filled with harsh drugs for a maximum of one week, this is called one cycle. These drugs enter your body and are pre-programmed to target duds and kill them off. Unfortunately, during that process, lots of your healthy cells are killed too.
From what I can remember the doctors telling me, it takes about 2-3 weeks for your ‘factory’ to restart making healthy fresh new cells.
So, in that time, you’re left with strange cytotoxins running through your system, continuously killing off good and bad cells. Side effects?
- Obviously, your hair will soon fall out, within a week or two. And I’m talking about EVERY hair. Eyelashes, brows, sideburns, underarm hair, leg hair, pubic hair. Everything goes. Maybe you’re one of the lucky few, and your hair might stay, maybe not.
- Continuous nausea. Followed by vomiting. Now, think about how grotesque it is to vomit. Imagine doing that 5-6 times a day. All over yourself because it’s such a surprise. All over your mum, your bed, your friends.
- Diahhorrea, need I elaborate?
- You will need blood infusions, you will need platelet infusions.
- You become sterile. Male or female, at this very moment in time you cannot conceive any more. Of course, maybe a few months down the track once you’re healthy again, your sterility will no longer be an issue.
- You will be pricked so many times that you’ll scream to have a pick line put in your arm, just so you don’t have to feel another needle again.
- You won’t sleep, even during the night. Nurses will come in every few hours to change things, to change you, to check things and to check you.
- The beeping. Oh God, the beeping of the machines telling you that ‘yes GodDAMMIT this bag of fluid is FINISHED’.
- Sick family or friends have to stay away from you, because obviously you don’t have any platelets or white cells to fight away viruses and the like, and your immunity system is down. So, you avoid any sickness like the plague, and stay in your hospital room, and get very, very homesick.
- Everything has to be super clean before you touch. You bathe often, watch yourself carefully for any sign of ANYTHING that’s not normal: flu, rashes, bumps, changes in skin colour, weight gain/loss.
- You report EVERYTHING and ANYTHING new to the doctors, straight away. I’m not kidding. Any small thing must be told. Small things tend to grow into big things in people who have no immunity system, very quickly.
So, if you’re lucky, and you’d better pray to whatever God you believe in that you are, after about three weeks hopefully your bone marrow will kick into gear and start creating new cells for your body. And maybe a month later, you’ll happily go home again. Most likely you’ll come for another cycle or two and that’s the end of your Cancer.
So, that’s the good stuff. It can get much, much worse.
I don’t think I have the stomach right now to tell you about all the other things that can happen if you’re unlucky. And to remember. So maybe in a few days.
Family and Health are everything. To be continued…
Thankyou
Hail Animus
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Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
I'm sorry.
Comment by Hail
Dreaming Fancies
My sister only has one lung now, as a result of so many complications, and we just found out today that there's more fungus growing in her remaining lung. Just when you think the worst is over...
But thankyou. The thought of cancer makes me sick, mostly because no one knows what causes it, and man, your mother having lung cancer, when she didn't even smoke, so one can at least find something to blame . It burns me.
Take care
Comment by Brenton
Dr Spin
Tales From The Other Side
Blip Blog
Gadget Museum
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
On my birthday this year I came down with a really nasty infection in my stomach. I couldnt eat or drink as it was coming up or going out just as fast - Id bolt to the toilet over a sip of water. The docs wanted me in hospital but I refused. I had 3 ultra sounds, and when I went back to the doc she said they 'found something' in my kidney, the left one. An "8mm mass thats probably just an inert t- ah, mass of fatty tissue?" It was so obvious she danced around the word tumour. They booked more tests and I went home - Mum and Kman were absolute basket cases, but I wasnt worried. Ive been sick my whole life so I kind of expect them to find something one day. That afternoon seemed particularly beautiful.....
On further tests it had 'gone' and they didnt know where. Im not a good patient. Im supposed to have more tests but damn, they stuck me with enough needles last time and Im having a break before I go back.
Cancer is a mystery. The thing that scares me is, what if we do cure it, and nature spews up something worse?
Comment by Hail
Dreaming Fancies
Kleonaptra, oh for sure. I fully believe that once mankind has found a cure for cancer, we'll be bombarded with a whole new sickness. Even ten years ago, cancer wasn't as prevalent as it is today. I know at least 4 people with cancer, right this very minute.
ten years ago it was so rare.
Remember SARS and the mass hysteria it produced? Then that was contained, and then meningococcal, mad cow disease, bird flu...the list goes on, forwards and backwards, all the way to the bubonic plague. There will always be disease. If not cancer, I'm guessing something worse, because us humans are getting a little too big for our breeches. The better we become at curing things, the harsher the newer disease becomes.
Thanks for your post. I honestly hope that things turn out alright, but in this business, a body's gotta hope for the best and expect the worst. You're in my thoughts, and I'm praying for ya, girl.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
If I was worried I would have been back at the docs by now....I just hate surgeries and hospitals! I was supposed to go to specialists and stuff but it can wait - So long as I can function, I stay away from doctors! The medical profession almost destroyed my life once. I dont trust doctors.