Night At The Museum 2
June 9th 2009 14:48
Yes, we are well and truly in the middle of the current blockbuster season, and the next film vying for the multitude of popcorn eaters is the family comedy Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, the second instalment in this franchise, which sees BEN STILLER (Meet The Parents, Tropic Thunder) as Larry Daley. In the first film, Daley was a night guard at a museum, in which all the displays came alive when the sun went down. In the sequel, he has moved on in life, and is the CEO of his own company, his days as a night guard a distant memory. But then, he hears word that all the displays at the museum are being updated and the old ones are being moved to the archives vault in the Smithsonian, which commences all the trouble, danger, adventure, excitement and humour of the film. At least that is the idea.
Now I hadn’t seen the original film, however it was not required viewing before seeing its sequel. Basically, all you need to know is that some Ancient Egyptian magical tablet has the ability of bringing to life the displays in the museum it is situated within. Its concept is, in theory, a very interesting one and one with a lot of potential, as it brings to life many historical figures into the same environment, and the move to the Smithsonian creates an almost unlimited array of possibilities, which also ends up being one of the film’s greatest flaws. Not only are we blessed by the presence of many well known historical personalities, but we get to see some really well known actors portraying said characters. Returning from the original are Teddy Roosevelt (ROBIN WILLIAMS – Mrs. Doubtfire), Jedediah (OWEN WILSON – Wedding Crashers) and Octavius (STEVE COOGAN), among others, and they are joined by Amelia Earhart (AMY ADAMS – Enchanted) and Kahmunrah (HANK AZARIA – Run Fat Boy Run). Other historical personalities and sculptures include Ivan The Terrible, General Custer, Napoleon Bonaparte, The Thinker statue, a squid, Albert Einstein bobble-heads, Al Capone and Abraham Lincoln. As you can probably already gather just from reading that long-winded listing of characters, there is just too much attempted in this film. It is as if they sat down in the scripting room on day one and brainstormed a list of potential characters to include in the film and then set about including all of them in the final product. It is just far too convoluted and ultimately none of the characters are developed or explored properly, and are all one-dimensional.
The basic plot, if you can call it a plot, sees the Ancient Egyptian tablet being moved to the Smithsonian, which brings to life, among other figures, Kahmunrah, who is hell bent on retrieving the tablet, placing it back in its monument, and cracking its code to allow him to unleash all manner of hell against everyone else. Now, despite everything, I happen to like stupid comedies – I mean, I actually liked both The Pink Panther 2 and Paul Blart - Mall Cop earlier this year, but this film is just plain stupid. The stupidity of the film’s plot could be easily overlooked if the movie delivered on its hilarity. Unfortunately, it does not. In fact, I would almost call it criminal to advertise this movie as a comedy. In the whole film, I only found two instances mildly humouress. Even more unfortunately, I had already seen both scenes countless times in the film’s trailers.
The acting is decidedly deplorable, despite the presence of well-known stars. I have never seen Stiller deliver a worse performance in his career. But it doesn’t end there. Azaria is down right abysmal as the always lisping villain, Alain Chabat as Napoleon is disgraceful and Bill Hader as Custer has you wanting to scratch your eyeballs out. Now I happen to be a great fan of Amy Adams, but even that was put to the test in this film, as her character became increasingly more annoying. Robin Williams is severely underutilised, while Steve Coogan is actually passable in his performance. However, I must give credit where credit is due – Owen Wilson was actually really good in this film, but he was the only one.
For a US summer blockbuster, I was amazed by how poor the CGI special effects were – in some instances it was laughably bad, and definitely not what you would expect from a big budget 2009 flick.
Now I know you shouldn’t over think a movie like this, but how would a long dead Ancient Egyptian prince be aware of who Napoleon Bonaparte, Ivan The Terrible and Al Capone even were, let alone what they had actually done in their lives? And then, how do they all know how to speak English? They even go to the ridiculously absurd level of having Kahmunrah speaking in French and German, before he attempts English. It really is hard to tell what the most annoying element, character and scene in the film as there is so much choice, but some worthy of mention are the cameo by Jonah Hill (Superbad) in an exceedingly long, completely humourless scene, the Einstein bobble-heads, the earth-shatteringly awful scenes with the Abraham Lincoln statue, the romance between Stiller and Adams, potentially the worst attempt at developing a love story in cinema history, those God-damned annoying flying angels from the fountain, General Custer’s ‘attack’ briefings, Napoleon’s height obsession, but perhaps the worst scene, and one that I was groaning at throughout, was Kamunrah’s overly extended conversation with Daley telling him not to cross the imaginary line and get closer to him. I’m sure five year olds would watch that part and shake their heads over the immaturity of the scene.
Despite being terribly unfunny, the film’s greatest problem is that it is far too wordy. Any potentially humouress scene is completely butchered as the scene just keeps going, long past its welcome. All of the characters appear to be suffering from verbal diarrhoea, the writers and director obviously believing that the more you talk and the more you reiterate the same thing, the funnier it gets.
The positives of the film? Not many, and you have to look very hard to find them. The opening sequences in the Smithsonian (before everything comes alive) does a really good job of showcasing and foreshadowing which characters and situations will come alive later, and despite the movie’s downright shocking start, I had the belief that as the museum was starting to come to life that the film would become a joyful romp. I never thought it would get worse. I did like the ending of the film, and not just because it was ending. It was a fitting ending and would have served well if was preceeded by a much better film.
In conclusion, then, a thoroughly awful film, and a very strong candidate for worst movie of 2009. It is never promising when I laughed more in one of the commercials before the film started – not a film trailer, but a commercial – than in the whole film. I honestly cannot see how anyone out there could like this film. My rating becomes as generous as it does, and in hindsight is far too generous, because I did like the ending.
2.5/10
Now I hadn’t seen the original film, however it was not required viewing before seeing its sequel. Basically, all you need to know is that some Ancient Egyptian magical tablet has the ability of bringing to life the displays in the museum it is situated within. Its concept is, in theory, a very interesting one and one with a lot of potential, as it brings to life many historical figures into the same environment, and the move to the Smithsonian creates an almost unlimited array of possibilities, which also ends up being one of the film’s greatest flaws. Not only are we blessed by the presence of many well known historical personalities, but we get to see some really well known actors portraying said characters. Returning from the original are Teddy Roosevelt (ROBIN WILLIAMS – Mrs. Doubtfire), Jedediah (OWEN WILSON – Wedding Crashers) and Octavius (STEVE COOGAN), among others, and they are joined by Amelia Earhart (AMY ADAMS – Enchanted) and Kahmunrah (HANK AZARIA – Run Fat Boy Run). Other historical personalities and sculptures include Ivan The Terrible, General Custer, Napoleon Bonaparte, The Thinker statue, a squid, Albert Einstein bobble-heads, Al Capone and Abraham Lincoln. As you can probably already gather just from reading that long-winded listing of characters, there is just too much attempted in this film. It is as if they sat down in the scripting room on day one and brainstormed a list of potential characters to include in the film and then set about including all of them in the final product. It is just far too convoluted and ultimately none of the characters are developed or explored properly, and are all one-dimensional.
The basic plot, if you can call it a plot, sees the Ancient Egyptian tablet being moved to the Smithsonian, which brings to life, among other figures, Kahmunrah, who is hell bent on retrieving the tablet, placing it back in its monument, and cracking its code to allow him to unleash all manner of hell against everyone else. Now, despite everything, I happen to like stupid comedies – I mean, I actually liked both The Pink Panther 2 and Paul Blart - Mall Cop earlier this year, but this film is just plain stupid. The stupidity of the film’s plot could be easily overlooked if the movie delivered on its hilarity. Unfortunately, it does not. In fact, I would almost call it criminal to advertise this movie as a comedy. In the whole film, I only found two instances mildly humouress. Even more unfortunately, I had already seen both scenes countless times in the film’s trailers.
The acting is decidedly deplorable, despite the presence of well-known stars. I have never seen Stiller deliver a worse performance in his career. But it doesn’t end there. Azaria is down right abysmal as the always lisping villain, Alain Chabat as Napoleon is disgraceful and Bill Hader as Custer has you wanting to scratch your eyeballs out. Now I happen to be a great fan of Amy Adams, but even that was put to the test in this film, as her character became increasingly more annoying. Robin Williams is severely underutilised, while Steve Coogan is actually passable in his performance. However, I must give credit where credit is due – Owen Wilson was actually really good in this film, but he was the only one.
For a US summer blockbuster, I was amazed by how poor the CGI special effects were – in some instances it was laughably bad, and definitely not what you would expect from a big budget 2009 flick.
Now I know you shouldn’t over think a movie like this, but how would a long dead Ancient Egyptian prince be aware of who Napoleon Bonaparte, Ivan The Terrible and Al Capone even were, let alone what they had actually done in their lives? And then, how do they all know how to speak English? They even go to the ridiculously absurd level of having Kahmunrah speaking in French and German, before he attempts English. It really is hard to tell what the most annoying element, character and scene in the film as there is so much choice, but some worthy of mention are the cameo by Jonah Hill (Superbad) in an exceedingly long, completely humourless scene, the Einstein bobble-heads, the earth-shatteringly awful scenes with the Abraham Lincoln statue, the romance between Stiller and Adams, potentially the worst attempt at developing a love story in cinema history, those God-damned annoying flying angels from the fountain, General Custer’s ‘attack’ briefings, Napoleon’s height obsession, but perhaps the worst scene, and one that I was groaning at throughout, was Kamunrah’s overly extended conversation with Daley telling him not to cross the imaginary line and get closer to him. I’m sure five year olds would watch that part and shake their heads over the immaturity of the scene.
Despite being terribly unfunny, the film’s greatest problem is that it is far too wordy. Any potentially humouress scene is completely butchered as the scene just keeps going, long past its welcome. All of the characters appear to be suffering from verbal diarrhoea, the writers and director obviously believing that the more you talk and the more you reiterate the same thing, the funnier it gets.
The positives of the film? Not many, and you have to look very hard to find them. The opening sequences in the Smithsonian (before everything comes alive) does a really good job of showcasing and foreshadowing which characters and situations will come alive later, and despite the movie’s downright shocking start, I had the belief that as the museum was starting to come to life that the film would become a joyful romp. I never thought it would get worse. I did like the ending of the film, and not just because it was ending. It was a fitting ending and would have served well if was preceeded by a much better film.
In conclusion, then, a thoroughly awful film, and a very strong candidate for worst movie of 2009. It is never promising when I laughed more in one of the commercials before the film started – not a film trailer, but a commercial – than in the whole film. I honestly cannot see how anyone out there could like this film. My rating becomes as generous as it does, and in hindsight is far too generous, because I did like the ending.
2.5/10
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