Bryn

73281 Vote(s)

7131 Comment(s)

664 Post(s)

Big Bird (Member)

30 Vote(s)

4 Comment(s)

1 Post(s)

Film & TV on DVD (Member)

49462 Vote(s)

4645 Comment(s)

419 Post(s)

I mentor these bloggers

Learn more about the Orble Mentoring Program.

I do not mentor any bloggers.

[ View All My Students ]

Friends

[ View All My Friends ] [ Be My Friend ]

The Hills Run Red

November 6th 2009 01:42

The Hills Run Red

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Great title, but oh, what a piece of crap movie; The Hills Run Red (2009) is one of those annoyingly pretentious movies that aims to be savage and extreme, whilst playing with sub-genres (slasher flick-cum-torture-porn-cum-mo vie-within-a-movie) and expectations, yet slits its own throat of plausibility from the get-go, leaving the corpse to become utterly bloated with satirical self-importance. This is no laughing matter; the movie fails on almost every level.

The only thing I can recommend it for is Sophie Monks tits, and yes, Im being facetious. Monks spends a surprising amount of time exposing her natural, luscious bust, and for fans of the ex-pat Aussie, it seems shes dead keen on scuttling any sweetness she might have once possessed. But enough about Monks assets, she can act, and her role isnt perfunctory, but the movies dead in the water even before she attempts her lame lap-dance.

Tad Hilgenbrinck as Tyler

The movie is gruesome in places, and prides itself on trying to push some boundaries, but this is no Frontiere(s) (2007). None of the graphic violence actually works on a gut-level; too much CGI for a start, damn I hate the look of digital gore (I must be getting cranky in my old age) and none of the characters are empathetic enough to warrant any concern over their well-being. William Sadler is pushing shit uphill, and the less said about the other leads the better.

The Hills Run Red Alex Wyndam and Janet Montgomery

Lalo (Alex Wyndam) and Serina (Janet Montgomery)

Sophie Monks as Alexa

The guts of the plot is summed up rather nicely at imdb.com: A group of young horror fans go searching for a film that mysteriously vanished years ago but instead find that the demented killer from the movie is real, and he's thrilled to meet fans who will die gruesomely for his art. Actually, its less a group of horror fans, as one obsessed horrorphile, Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrinck), who coerces his best buddy Lalo (Alex Wyndam) and girlfriend Serina (Janet Montgomery) to help him track down the daughter of legendary master of horror (umm, hes made one feature, how can he be a master??) director Wyler Concannon, whose sadistic masked-killer flick, The Hills Run Red, is considered the most sought after piece of grindhouse celluloid ever.

The daughter Alexa (Sophie Monks) is a junkie stripper, and in an absurdly insipid sequence Tyler commits to assisting Alexa through cold turkey in what seems like a piss-easy procedure. Now shes bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, clean as a whistle, ready to do what it takes to get Tyler what he wants. The wonders of a cold shower, huh?

Babyface ... not to be confused with the L.A. r&b producer

The killer of the movie, Babyface (several Bulgarian actors play him, yes the movie was shot in Bulgaria with an Eastern-European crew and featured extras), is a nasty piece of work, but Leatherface would eat him for breakfast. Of course there are family secrets that need to be brought to the surface of this vile stew (and thats not wicked vile, thats putrid vile), but not before everything becomes rather silly and convoluted, preachy and incredibly tedious, culminating in Alexas diatribes about her fathers failures as a filmmaker (No one cares about the sub-textual shit get to the kill!) and where the real horror lies. Who cares? The Hills Run Red failed long before Tyler is strapped to a chair in the Concannon private screening room watching raw 16mm footage which somehow miraculously developed itself even though it was only shot moments earlier

The Hills Run Red Tad Hilgenbrinck and Sophie Monk

Alexa exposes some of her secrets to Tad

Screenwriters and directors need to take extra-care when theyre making a horror movie that attempts to satirise the genre, or make statements about the art. At the end of the long night, these kind of horror movies simply dont cut the mustard (with very few exceptions). A truly effective horror movie plays the game straight. If its bent, its because its pushed the boundaries convincing, in a genuinely shocking manner, not in motivational or contextual contrivance, not with verbose dialogue that belies the characters intelligence, not with ahhh, fuck it, Ive cornered myself so I end up sounding like a disgruntled wanker.

The Hills Run Red William Sadler, Tad Hilgenbrinck

Cancannon (William Sadler) shows Tyler where the real cutting lies

But the basic truth is; keep it simple. The Hills Run Red tries to be clever as it hides behind a tribute mask, but it wears its intentions on its ragged sleeve. Its bleeding obvious, it aint scary, its ultraviolence is processed, its logistics confused. Did I miss the bloody point? I dont think so. The DVD cover art is okay, Ill give it that.

The Hills Run Red Sophie Monk and Babyface

Blood is thicker than water, according to family

Here's the trailer:

Curiously I discovered a drinking game for those gluttons for punishment:

This drinking game is to be played with The Hills Run Red and some beer whatever you can find at your nearest backwoods gas station.

1drink every time you see boobs
1 drink every time you see blood
1 drink every time someone dies
1 drink every time someone says The Hills Run Red
1 drink every time someone says Babyface
1 drink every time you see Babyface

The Voyeur Special: Drink continuously every time you see the movie through a video camera.

Ysee, I do have a sense of humour!

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Strigoi

November 5th 2009 23:08

Strigoi

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Strigoi

November 5th 2009 22:09

If you like your vampire mythology pungent and filthy, cloaked in the authentic ethnic threads of Eastern European sensibility, and sans the usual toothy, suave trappings of most of the fanged vehicles out of Tinseltown, then the highly original, far-from-British UK production Strigoi (2008) - which screened last Friday at the inaugural Fantastic Planet international film festival as part of their Halloween indulgence, along with Zombieland (2009) and Infestation (2009) which screened on the Saturday night, but I was unable to attend will most definitely be an undead surprise worth digging for.

Writer/director Faye Jackson (a pleasant change having a woman at the helm of a horror feature, whose husband is Romanian) has made a decidedly unromantic, downbeat, morbidly humorous, and deceptively unsettling take on the vampire flick. Strigoi (the Romanian word given to the blood-thirsty undead) are forever returning to seek justice for wrongdoings against their former living selves. They have quite the appetite too, and not just for plasma and the red stuff; these smelly, dirty creatures will eat you out of house, home, and when theyve emptied your pantry, theyll finally settle on the side of your neck

[ Click here to read more ]

Comments (1)

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Trick 'r Treat

November 5th 2009 03:20

Trick 'r Treat

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Trick 'r Treat

November 5th 2009 03:18

I got to this release a little too late (it got to my local video store only this week). As it turns out Trick 'r Treat (2008) has suffered its own belated troubles. Originally slated for release Stateside way back in October 2007, but Warner Bros. pulled it at the last minute, perhaps for fear of Saw IV chewing up its box office. It was moved to an October 2008 release, and then postponed again til early 2009, but still no official release. After numerous appearances at horror festivals around the world from late 2008 into 2009, it finally went straight-to-DVD for Halloween just passed.

It must be strange for filmmakers and actors having a current release of work they completed two or three years earlier. Its the nature of the beast, but movies with this kind of high calibre production values and quality cast dont usually get shelved for so long, especially when theres nothing actually wrong with the movie. Trick r Treat is an anthology movie; four (well five actually, if you count the flashback-yarn within one of the stories) tales set in a modest festive town where All Hallows Eve and the age-old American tradition of donning a costume and trick-or-treating is embraced with exuberance

[ Click here to read more ]

Comments (5)

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Blood: The Last Vampire

November 3rd 2009 23:18

Blood: The Last Vampire

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Blood: The Last Vampire

November 3rd 2009 23:16

Japan, 1966, and the American-occupied Yokota Air Force base is about to mobilised, as the United States is on the brink of the Vietnam War. But a threat much worse than human soldiers lies lurking within the walks of the compounds High School: Chiropterran demons; savage beasts in the guise of humans. One mysterious young woman, in the disguise of a schoolgirl, is the U.S. Governments only hope. Shes the last of her kind, and has been brought in especially by a top-secret covert team to destroy the supernatural force. Who is she? What is she? Will she succeed?

Originally intended to be the middle part of an anime trilogy Blood: The Last Vampire (2000) ended up being the only part filmed and released due to a lack of time and money. The result is a curious, but deeply resonant featurette. In fact at only 45 minutes running time it barely even qualifies as a featurette, as there are some short films that run almost as long, and most television episodes clock in at around 50-odd minutes. Still, despite its paper-thin plotting, its a tight, super-stylish, at times genuinely creepy, three-quarters of an hour.

Saya (voiced by Youki Kudoh) is a moody, feisty character indeed. Its a pity not more of her background is explained, but one can only presume that was all revealed in the mini-series first episode. Of course this only deepens the prevailing mystery. Saya, in her plaits and school uniform, is apparently a very-old vampire, not that youd know guess it (apart from the title). She comes across more like an adolescent bully armed with a samurai sword. She uses her supernatural powers sparingly, relying on animal instinct, superhuman strength and agility only when needed. And boy, she needs them, as her adversaries are massively powerful themselves, and very nasty to boot. They shape-shift from their human foil into prehistoric-looking gargoyles with huge bat-like wings, skeletal snouts and no doubt horrendous breath

[ Click here to read more ]

Comments (2)

Horror QUIZ #29: Mastermind Series - V

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Horror QUIZ #29: Mastermind Series - V

November 2nd 2009 23:11

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Horror QUIZ #29: Mastermind Series - V

November 2nd 2009 23:05

Another installment in the tougher line of my quizzes: the Mastermind Series. And this time around it's quotations. You need to identify two things. What movie is the line of dialogue from? Whats the full credited name of the character that said it? Sound like a walk in the park? You might stroll off okay, but trust me; the path gets rockier further down the track.

1. I'm running this monkey farm now Frankenstein and I wanna know what the fuck youre doing with my time?!
[ Click here to read more ]

[ Link ]

Posted By: Bryn - Category: No Category

Email this Post to a Friend

Comment by Bryn
on Dracula (1992) - Trailer Included

November 7th 2009 05:32

I think I may ask Santa for a Blu-ray player ... apparently DVDs look better played on them too.

Comment by Bryn
on Depp Deciding on Tourist

November 7th 2009 02:21

I don't think any producers are interested in Clare Noto's original script anymore ... It's been too cannibalized

Comment by Bryn
on The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus ($7-)

November 7th 2009 02:19

Michelle, I'm of the camp that actually enjoyed this. You can read my review here

Comment by Bryn
on Horrorphile's 13 SCARIEST MOVIES EVER MADE

November 7th 2009 02:17

Hi Michelle, cheers. I agree for the most part about movies being scarier in the cinema, but there have definitely been some movies I watched alone on video at night at home that freaked me out. Ils (Them) was one of them. When I was much younger a friend and I rented Suspiria (VHS days) and that worked a treat!

Comment by Bryn
on Dracula (1992) - Trailer Included

November 6th 2009 05:30

David, Tom Waits is excellent as Mr. Nick, the Devil in Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus.
I love the old school effects in Dracula. The backward mist for example.

Comment by Bryn
on Depp Deciding on Tourist

November 6th 2009 05:26

You're asking about the Clare Noto movie? Legendary Hollywood screenplay that was written back in 1980 and went through pre-production hell for years and years. HR Giger was on board as designer, various A-listers, Sharon Stone, Kathleen Turner, Michelle Pfieffer, etc, attached to the project, but it was considered such a subversive and un-commercial project that producers wanted to change it and Clare Noto, the screenwriter refused to have it radically changed. It went through various re-writes and eventually most of the good ideas were plundered by other screenwriters and producers.
The basic plot had an alien in the guise of a sexy, successful corporate woman, Grace, trapped on earth trying to get back to her home planet. It turns out there are thousands of aliens on earth all in disguise. Grace ends up seraching in a subterranean lowlife realm trying to find an elusive alien who apparently has a way of leaving earth, but will Grace find him. Along the way she indulges her weird sexual fetishes ...
Men in Black is an example of a movie that has used one of the concepts from The Tourist (aliens hiding out on earth in disguise).

Comment by Bryn
on Depp Deciding on Tourist

November 6th 2009 02:14

Damn, I got very excited there for a moment and thought that finally the Clare Noto adult sf-horror movie was going to be made, but alas, alack, it sounds like a very different movie with the same title. Sigh.

Comment by Bryn
on Trick 'r Treat

November 6th 2009 02:10

JD, there's definitely enough material and tone to enjoy with a few beers, a pizza and crisps, and a nice pipe ...

Comment by Bryn
on Dracula (1992) - Trailer Included

November 6th 2009 02:09

Hypnotic in its ethereal execution that sucks on the marrow of the silent era classic Nosferatau

... niiiice.
Great review mate, I recently revisited this as well and I'm soon to put together my Horrorphile definitive scary/atmospheric vampire movie list together and this of course features ...
I thought you might mention Sadie Frost, cos she's excellent in this, totally overshadowing Ryder ... I remember Hopkins was criticised for channelling Hannibal Lecter (sniffing Mina, for example) ...
What are the deleted scenes like?
I wish Coppola had stuck to his original hard R-rated cut ... He toned it down for wider accessibility (so less of topless Monica and friends for one)
So you've got yourself a Blu-ray player huh?

Comment by Bryn
on Trick 'r Treat

November 5th 2009 22:51