coping with illness..true account
October 20th 2008 08:21
Monday Morning, the Telephone rang,
I knew it would be my only precious man,
I answered the phone in my happiest voice,
“I missed you last night”, I thought to myself
“Things are dismal” were the words I heard fall from his mouth.
The mood changed from color
To seriousness and sad
That word “Dismal” rang in my ears, like a sonic boom BANG
It was painful and resonating, it hit my heart and soul like shrapnel.
The tears immediately swelled in my eyes,
I knew words like that from him,
I did not want this bad surprise.
WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! I begged down the phone
What is dismal? What do you mean? Are you OK?
My heart rate soared, and my cheeks grew flushed
Please, not bad news from the only man I’ve loved
I prepared for the words he was about to say
“The tumor is growing”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you, I was in hospital last night”
“Oh my God” I’m thinking, don’t give up your fight
I sat speechless and silently crying on the phone
So very quietly, so he would not know,
Trying to be strong, trying to hold my own,
“Please don’t leave me on this planet, all on my own.”
You will get better, I think to myself
“You have a great medical team and really great help.
I’m scared for my friend and the love of my love
What a horrible parasite, playing with his life,
I am sure invasive procedures are to come now
How can I be strong? Please tell me babe!! How? How? How?
How can I clear his mind from this leech he has got?
Besides from a miracle, I haven’t got a lot,
The tears don’t stop falling for this beautiful mans mind
“How is he feeling? but still, “Please babe, fight”
“Oh my god I love you, Please don’t leave me behind.”
“I am so in love with your soul, your body and your mind”
He was very calm as he told me on the phone,
“Its no way to tell you, but I have to let you know”
“So now I fight again, I won’t give up”
Poor darling man, the only one I love.
I knew he was sick when I met him of course
But it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
I know he has plans for his brighter future,
But I can’t get past his illness and the message he delivered.
What is even harder, is that we are soul mates and friends
Where’s the cancer vacuum so I can start his life again?
I pray for him constantly, and I wish it was enough
I’m losing faith in faith, I am so scared to lose his love.
Now we’ve found each other, a once in life chance
And I wonder why it is that he has this life and death dance.
Just be with me, I wish that was enough
I don’t want to lose the only man I’ve loved.
He is my sun god, how he loves the warmth
He is my own Archangel M,
An angel from somewhere else,
So why does this poor angel have to go through hell?
(This is for you babes)
I will never leave your side.
I knew it would be my only precious man,
I answered the phone in my happiest voice,
“I missed you last night”, I thought to myself
“Things are dismal” were the words I heard fall from his mouth.
The mood changed from color
To seriousness and sad
That word “Dismal” rang in my ears, like a sonic boom BANG
It was painful and resonating, it hit my heart and soul like shrapnel.
The tears immediately swelled in my eyes,
I knew words like that from him,
I did not want this bad surprise.
WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! I begged down the phone
My heart rate soared, and my cheeks grew flushed
Please, not bad news from the only man I’ve loved
I prepared for the words he was about to say
“The tumor is growing”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you, I was in hospital last night”
“Oh my God” I’m thinking, don’t give up your fight
I sat speechless and silently crying on the phone
So very quietly, so he would not know,
Trying to be strong, trying to hold my own,
“Please don’t leave me on this planet, all on my own.”
You will get better, I think to myself
“You have a great medical team and really great help.
I’m scared for my friend and the love of my love
What a horrible parasite, playing with his life,
I am sure invasive procedures are to come now
How can I be strong? Please tell me babe!! How? How? How?
How can I clear his mind from this leech he has got?
Besides from a miracle, I haven’t got a lot,
The tears don’t stop falling for this beautiful mans mind
“How is he feeling? but still, “Please babe, fight”
“Oh my god I love you, Please don’t leave me behind.”
He was very calm as he told me on the phone,
“Its no way to tell you, but I have to let you know”
“So now I fight again, I won’t give up”
Poor darling man, the only one I love.
I knew he was sick when I met him of course
But it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
I know he has plans for his brighter future,
But I can’t get past his illness and the message he delivered.
What is even harder, is that we are soul mates and friends
Where’s the cancer vacuum so I can start his life again?
I pray for him constantly, and I wish it was enough
I’m losing faith in faith, I am so scared to lose his love.
Now we’ve found each other, a once in life chance
And I wonder why it is that he has this life and death dance.
Just be with me, I wish that was enough
I don’t want to lose the only man I’ve loved.
He is my sun god, how he loves the warmth
He is my own Archangel M,
An angel from somewhere else,
So why does this poor angel have to go through hell?
(This is for you babes)
I will never leave your side.
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