Brawling Sperm
November 7th 2006 13:00
Okay. So guys have a feminine element inside their little psyches. We have a soft side, that will nurture and hold and embrace and love and clean and feed and nest and…MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’VE BECOME MY MOMMY!
Uh, no thanks.
I like to spit, I have a dirty, smelly crotch, and I just don’t listen all that well. So, sue me, for crying out loud. When did it become such a bad thing to ride the testosterone wave of hyper-machismo?
I’m a man, dammit!
Perhaps I am but an extension of the brawling sperm that brought me into this world. Random, chaotic, aggressive, competitive, and an advocate of leaving the toilet seat UP. You know you like it, right girls? After all, you have an inner man in you. The animus is that thing in your psyche that some may refer to as the beast. You know you want to fart and belch.
I understand that we are a civilized people and that political correctness is important. We seek balance and moderation, and respect of others. Tolerance is key, acceptance is wonderful, and diversity is beautiful. Okay. I can hang with that.
After I take a crap, leave the toilet seat up, wash my hands by wiping “it" off on my pants, and inquire as to why you seem offended. I don’t mean to offend you. In fact, I’d like it if you accepted me in all my beastly, crude, and vile ways.
In fact, YOU OFFEND ME BY BEING OFFENDED BY ME!
I know, though, that today I must ‘manage’ my anger and psychotransmute it into valuable energy that will ‘collectivate’ into a synergy that benefits the whole. Oh yes, and I’m told this will make me feel better.
I WASN’T FEELING BAD IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Go ahead, though, you guys who have been ‘steered’ into thinking that the new man, the metrosexual, is the way of the future. The way, perhaps also, to ‘score’. Go ahead and embrace your anima, woosie boys.
I need to go fight a tiger, or something.
deorre
Uh, no thanks.
I like to spit, I have a dirty, smelly crotch, and I just don’t listen all that well. So, sue me, for crying out loud. When did it become such a bad thing to ride the testosterone wave of hyper-machismo?
I’m a man, dammit!
Perhaps I am but an extension of the brawling sperm that brought me into this world. Random, chaotic, aggressive, competitive, and an advocate of leaving the toilet seat UP. You know you like it, right girls? After all, you have an inner man in you. The animus is that thing in your psyche that some may refer to as the beast. You know you want to fart and belch.
I understand that we are a civilized people and that political correctness is important. We seek balance and moderation, and respect of others. Tolerance is key, acceptance is wonderful, and diversity is beautiful. Okay. I can hang with that.
After I take a crap, leave the toilet seat up, wash my hands by wiping “it" off on my pants, and inquire as to why you seem offended. I don’t mean to offend you. In fact, I’d like it if you accepted me in all my beastly, crude, and vile ways.
In fact, YOU OFFEND ME BY BEING OFFENDED BY ME!
I know, though, that today I must ‘manage’ my anger and psychotransmute it into valuable energy that will ‘collectivate’ into a synergy that benefits the whole. Oh yes, and I’m told this will make me feel better.
I WASN’T FEELING BAD IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Go ahead, though, you guys who have been ‘steered’ into thinking that the new man, the metrosexual, is the way of the future. The way, perhaps also, to ‘score’. Go ahead and embrace your anima, woosie boys.
I need to go fight a tiger, or something.
deorre
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