I’m no relationship consultant but its fairly obvious from the personal tone of NAB’s recent bust up announcement the big four had rather unethically been mixing banking with pleasure. This complicated love quadrangle could best be described as a “forgy.” Suffice to say we’ll never know if fees and charges applied.
But hey, it’s a free world so who am I to judge them even if in corporate sexual governance terms they make David (there’s no sexual harassment case like David Jones) McInnes look like a choirboy. Though I must admit I am curious as to who exactly was the meat in this rather chunky beef and pickle sandwich.
Fortunately, the fun isn’t over yet with ex f. buddy CBA sniping back at NAB in full page spreads about the size of its deposits liquidity margins. Hopefully this all serves as a warning to credit unions and other lending institutes of the dangers of getting in bed with your competitors.
“Disastertainment” is the term I’ve dubbed our interest in the QLD floods, trapped Chilean miners and the like. How else to describe Mel and Kochie on “Floodrise” beaming live from the lapping shores of flood hit precincts or the Today’s show’s non stop coverage of the disaster. I get the feeling when the networks heard about Yasi they yelled it as excitedly as if they had won a round of Yahtzee.
Fair enough our intrepid TV reporters have packed their safari suits or at least Ralph Lauren’s summer collection and trekked up North to bring us the exclusive. But why is it every second one has to do the head and shoulder shot which subsequently pans out to show them standing ankle or knee deep in water- very original. The crews spend so much time in relief centres people who really need them must feel like they’ve stumbled into Big Brother.
Within this media circus Anna Bligh is a standout performer, inevitably backed by one or more stoic faced public servants (Man at arms to Anna’s He-man) or a prime minister light on in the charisma dept as Anna tells it like it is i.e. not like a politician. A signing expert usually accompanies her and is obviously quite essential in a crisis situation to communicate the silent language. Perhaps Kristina Kennelly, who regularly has to weather shit-storms and crisis of her parties own making could take note and enlist the aid of a signer when she comes out to face the media.
Once the waters subside I get the feeling the networks won’t be in any hurry to let go of all that empathy they’ve managed to build on the back of this crisis. There’s probably a whole series of Backyard Blitz Brissy about to pop up. I lost count of the number of stories the channels posted in relation to Brissy restaurants losing everything and going under in the deluge so thinking like a TV exec its fair to say the contestants are ready. I’m guessing they could do a cook off styled cooking show giving restauranters effected by the crisis the chance to get their eateries back. This may sound far fetched but a few years ago I jokingly made the prediction that crime and cooking are both so popular on TV they would be combined in some fashion. Seven now has “Conviction Kitchen “assaulting our small screens.
Seven’s summer of tennis recently got way too big and personal courtesy of an unfortunate gust of wind which lifted Venus William’s latticed fluoro yellow mini skyward as she crouched- waiting to return serve. Of course the camera shot was right behind. It was like an eclipse as Venus’s butt wrapped in flesh tone tights obliterated the screen and the rest of humanity for seconds at most but felt like aeons. Way too much information- it should have been pixellated.
Sure this sounds old fashioned but whatever happened to bloomers or at least some more sensible attire? For that matter I actually prefer the simplicity of yesteryears cool whites rather than the gauche modern take on the wardrobe which looks like a rainbow vomited on centre court. A lot of the outfits just look plain silly- one lady had so many ruffles on her cocktail style dress it reminded me of a frilly bog roll cover. Williams said her latticed creation was inspired by Lewis Carrols character Alice. I must have missed the chapter where Alice dons a miniskirt then partied in a cheese grater. Either way its like one long disastrous centre court fashion parade- every player trying to outdo each other in the tennis rock star look at me stakes.
I also take issue with the brightness of William’s and others apparel- the same colour as a tennis ball. Is tennis ball lime green/ yellow in this season? I doubt it. I suspect these clothes are deliberately worn as some sort of unsporting distraction to their opponents who have milliseconds to figure out where the ball has been hit.
If the clothes or lack thereof aren’t distracting enough then surely the screams take the cake. I doubt mothers in birth would drop more decibels than Venus and the other grunters. A lot of sporting codes have had to address unfair tactics such as wresting moves in the NFL. Its high time tennis officials did likewise and started to address the etiquette of players on court.
I think it’s only a matter of time before cut off jeans turn up on centre court. The women will probably opt for the ones with the big white pockets hanging out- perfect to put balls in. I’m sure these cut-offs are uber cool for some but they remind me of a bogan warrior I once saw at the beach who went for a swim in his black Levis then sunbaked on the sand with the Levi’s white cloth pockets pulled out to dry.
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