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"I'm not the person responsible for all those Anon quotes." - Ann Onamus

Mutton dressing up Lamb

September 18th 2008 23:05


She blew into town on the back of a heatwave
the same December day, a hot northerly invaded nearly every street
and covered so many houses in foreign dirt

She certainly left her mark

Dusty footprints, running naked through back yards
a bundle of clothes wrapped up in her arms
like the child she would never have

like the children asleep in the various rooms
as mummy's headlights splashed the front of the house
and daddy slipped his trousers on

Husbands forget their wives
how much their ovens have slaved
and over sunday roast
speak of how lamb is younger than mutton
how it looks and tastes better, too

Wool is not on their minds

Bushfires threaten country towns
but loose women do much more damage





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Flapping in your breeze

March 25th 2008 18:37
I thought I'd write a bit of poetry. I've never published poetry before. I only ever wrote it for my husband. I was going through a few of my old things tonight, as I always do around the anniversary of his death, and found a few poems I wrote for him.


Flapping in your breeze

Wrap me in the my favourite blanket
the rough, rugged wool of your personality.

The one I mended
made a few slight alterations on
by stitching up the frayed edges
and darning those darn holes

with my delicate touch

while I got high on coffee and tobacco smells

and the smell of a working man’s sweat
and the feel of your threads
the fibre of your being

Making love to you is like
a blanket and a sheet
going through a full-cycle
wash me in your perspiration
rinse me in your tears
spin me out
and hang me out to dry

right next to you.

Let’s flap in each other’s breezes
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when I was a young woman in my first prime (And I write 'first prime' because, even though I'm an elderly woman, I'm in another prime, and still a pretty good damn catch for some wrinkly old man in his second prime).

So, when I was a young woman in my first prime, and had pert breasts, not these saggy things I have now, I led a charmed existence, and wrote a few novels under a non-de-plume (which is not a plucked lyrebird feather that you hide under to write a secret book. It's an anonymous name to protect your privacy).

After my husband died, I grieved. I loved him. He was a great man.

After I got over my grieving. Which took me many years. Because I loved him. And he loved me.

I still remember the night he expired. I'll never forget it. It's etched indelibly into my soul. It was one of the best and worst nights of my life. I was so happy that his soul was going to wing its way to heaven, but I was so sad to be losing the companionship of one of the greatest men to ever grace this planet with his footsteps.

I watered his working boots with my tears for many days afterwards. I just held those old, worn boots of his. The ones moulded to the shape of his beautiful feet. The feet he used to walk towards me for the first time. The feet that trecked to and fro to work every day, because he believed it was healthy for a man to work manually. With his hands. And his feet. I looked at the scratches and stains and scuff-marks on his boots, and the peculiar way the soles had worn down due to the way he walked. And I just cried. It was like reading a history book. Or looking at a photo-album of his wonderful life. I could have filled those boots with my tears. They were a remnant. A reminder of his wonderful life. They were a relic to me. The shoes of a saint.

There is nothing on this earth that compares to the love of a good, honest, just working man. He was a just man, my husband. That's the best way I could describe him.

When I think of all the bad marriages out there, I could weep tears of blood. It's not always the man's fault. Women should share the blame too. But to think of a bad marriage makes me shudder. Because a good marriage is the most wonderful thing.

He even apologised to me for dying that night. He just turned to me and said, "Our God is calling me. I have to go."

I think I nodded through my tears. I know I accepted it. It was God's will. Who can resist God? Who, apart from the insane would want to?

He died in my arms. I honestly didn't want to let him go.

I'll continue this later. I'm too emotional at the moment.



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High Horses and Low Horses

March 21st 2008 21:13
I think the medication has finally kicked in. So it should. I took a whole packet of anti-depressants this morning. And just sat around waiting for them to work. got to the stage where I had to wash my thyroid tablets down with brandy.

Doctors are strange. They say things like, "You shouldn't drink or smoke." inter alia et al & etc. Well, perhaps we shouldn't breathe because it's dangerous for our health? Doctors? I tell you. They sit there and charge $50 for a five minute visit. If I was getting paid $50 every five minutes to tell people how to look after their health, I wouldn't have any health problems


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I'm lying prostrate on the floor as I type this, because it's my way of saying sorry I haven't posted for a while. If I make a few typos? You'll have to excuse me. I can't see the keyboard from this submissive female position.

I'm even struggling to keep my petticoat afloat


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Dear Orblers and Orblettes


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Finally. David Hicks has a job. Thanks to Dick Smith


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Oscar Fever

February 27th 2008 22:23
A celebrity blogger with Oscar fever


Oscar Fever gripped me two nights ago. I wasn’t groped by a South American boxer named Oscar de la Fever. I wish. I mean Hollywood Oscar fever gripped me. So much so, I didn’t just get stomach cramps, I’ve decided to write a film


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‘Gute Fahrt und guten Happetit!’ (The McDonald’s poster promoting the Walburga) which has outraged Christian groups.


McDonalds regularly hold ‘Name the Burger’ competitions in various parts of the world. The joint winners of the latest competition in Dortmund Germany are two British subjects, Helen Steel and David Morris, who suggested the Walburga (after St Walburga, the niece of St Boniface (the Apostle of Germany


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I can’t afford to scratch myself.

February 24th 2008 01:10
“It’s not my fault he can only wink. I can’t approve a personal loan over the phone without speaking to him.”


When you hear a saying like, ‘I can’t afford to scratch myself,’ do you ever think of who said it first? I do. I want to know the etymology of the phrase itself


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