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In reference to the myriad of incredible things that are waiting to be known, the late American astronomer, writer and scientist, Dr. Carl Sagan once wrote ...

"The surface of the Earth is the shore of the cosmic ocean. From it we have learned most of what we know. Recently, we have waded a little out to sea, enough to dampen our toes or, at most, wet our ankles. The water seems inviting. The ocean calls so!"


This quote alludes to the wondrous possibilities that rest at our finger tips. Throughout history the pool of knowledge that we all share has evolved through a combination of chance discovery, exploration of possibilities, and opportunism driven by the wonderment and awe of what is to be known about the world in which we are immersed. This is the way that it has been for the countless generations that have preceded us, and will be for those that follow.

In the great scheme of things it doesn’t matter whether you make the finding yourself or are the last person on Earth to see the light; in taking the first steps toward finding those incredible things that are just waiting to be known there are two things required of us. The first is an attitude that involves opening our minds to possibility, and being opportunistic enough to seize a chance presented. Being open to possibilities and opportunities prepares our mind to think flexibly and thus be more alert to, and receptive of, those incredible things to be learned.

The second requires the application of perceptive thought processes – the ability to look at things another way through the ability to change perspectives, generate alternatives, explore possibilities and consider options. For the most part we tend to do this by hypothesising (creating tentative theories) about as yet unverified ideas, concepts or knowledge concerning the world around us. If, through the various processes of testing, our hypothesising proves to be true, we reconfigure those ideas and concepts already held. However, in this regard we tend to be limited by the inflexibility of traditional thinking processes that tie us to a ‘this’ or ‘that’ scenario.

‘Rock’ or ‘Water’ Thinking
Edward de Bono , who has built a reputation on providing thinking tools that are very simple to use and yet powerful in their effect, contends that traditional modes of thinking are static and unproductive, as they are based on the solid and inflexible foundations of 'is' and identity. In contrast to the traditional 'rock’ thinking, he proposes the notion of 'water’ or perceptive thinking which is based on 'to' and the flow of the mind (ie. 'What does this lead to?' as opposed to 'What is...?')

De Bono argues that in traditional (rock) thinking we tend to make judgements based upon right/wrong. Whereas when we are in a perceptive (water) thinking mode our judgements are made around the concepts of 'fit' and 'flow'. Where we apply the concept of 'fit' by asking questions like: 'Does this fit the circumstances and conditions?' Then, after acknowledging the possibility of fit we then move on to the notion of ‘flow’ and questions such as: 'Is the terrain suitable for flow to take place in this direction?’ Hence, fit covers the static situation, flow covers the dynamic situation.

For instance, in a conflict situation both sides will argue that they are right I which they can invariably argue logically. Traditional (rock) thinking would seek to discover which party was really 'right'. On the other hand, water logic would acknowledge that both parties were right but that each conclusion was based on a particular aspect of the situation, particular circumstances, and a particular point of view.

The point is that water logic is highly dependent on defined circumstances or conditions, whereas the very essence of traditional rock logic is that it is circumstance-independent. However, we tend to be so immersed in a rock-like thinking mode that water thinking often seems so pragmatic that 'anything goes' and there is no way of making judgements, or getting a decision. As a consequence, it is likely that many of those incredible things that are waiting to be known will pass us by unnoticed.

There is wonderment and awe to be found just about everywhere!


Helping children to recognise those incredible things that are waiting to be known.
Children have the most amazing imaginations, they view the world with wonderment and awe, are open to possibilities, and are unwavering opportunists. We see this in their play and curiosity about life and the world in which they live. There are a couple of simple little things as parents, mentors or teachers that we can do to assist our children to explore possibilities well beyond their imaginative play years. These include:

encouraging them to continue to view their world with wonderment and awe.

encouraging them to remain open to new ideas.

redirecting their thoughts when they start falling into the trap of traditional ‘rock’ thinking.


This may be done by asking simple questions such as:

Where does this [idea or thought] lead to?

Does this fit the circumstances and conditions [of the situations]?


However, it is not always easy to change perspectives, generate alternatives, consider other options or come up with the right sort of probing questions. It takes time and patience, and a good deal of effective role modelling on our behalf as parents. But as Alexander Graham Bell, once said ...

"The most successful men in the end are those whose success is the result of steady accretion. It is the man who carefully advances step by step, with his mind becoming wider and wider - and progressively better able to grasp any theme or situation."
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The Power of a Single Word

September 11th 2009 09:56

There is a story in the Buddhist teachings entitled “Eight Earthly Winds” , which is retold below...

There was a well-known scholar who befriended a Buddhist Chan master. Thinking that he had made great a stride in his cultivation, he wrote a poem and asked his attendant to deliver it to the master who lived across the river.

The master opened the letter and read the short poem aloud:


"Unmoved by the eight worldly winds,
Serenely I sit on the purplish gold terrace."

A smile broke up on the lips of the master. Picking up an ink brush, he scribbled the word "fart" across the letter and asked that it be delivered back to the scholar.

The scholar was upset and went across the river right away to reprimand the master for being rude. The master laughed as he said, "You said you are no longer moved by the eight worldly winds and yet with just one 'belch', you ran across the river like a rat!"

There are many ways in which to interpret this story but I like its simplest and possibly deeper message ... the power that can be held within a single word!

There can be tyranny and genius in words …
A recent research paper out of the United States, reporting on how people process words that express emotions, claimed that half of all the words that people produce from their working vocabulary are used to express negative emotions, compared to a mere 30 percent which are used to express positive emotions and 20 percent that have a neutral context. Although the magnitude of the statistics may be questionable, the relative proportion of negative to positive words in our working vocabularies should be of concern to all of us because there is a substantial body of research that relates the words we us in our ‘self-talk’ to our emotions, moods and relative levels of achievement.

Positive words seed optimistic thoughts which in turn generate positive actions. While, a single negative word can be like a sharp pin quickly stabbed into a balloon; it can breed pessimism and pull us down. This is because negative words evoke negative thoughts which in turn require greater deliberation as we slow down our processing in order to think more carefully. Whereas, positive words tend to tell us that things are benign or safe or everything is ‘OK’. So processing of those words and subsequent emotions is more script-like, hence we don't do a lot of word processing in these instances.

Within the continuum between positive and negative words there also exist what I refer to as ‘limiting’ words. These are not necessarily positive or negative, they are simply words that act to vale, misdirect or channel our thinking in a way that prevents us from opening our minds to the understanding and wonderment of what we know and discover, as well as the possibility that there may still be something incredible waiting to be known. For instance, it is natural for many of us to think through ‘problem solving’ situations in terms of choices between this, OR that. Yet there is a certain tyranny in the word ‘OR’ because of its tendency to limit our thinking to existing, and probably unworthy, resolutions of the problem with which we are faced and as such can be an unproductive way of looking at the world. Whereas, there is a certain genius about 'AND', that empowers us to expand our horizons and challenge the boundaries that tend to limit our thinking to mere alternatives.

Using self-talk to take control
The bottom line is that words can either be destructive or enriching to our relationships and our achievements. Hence, the ability to think clearly about a situation depends very much on the words we choose to process it with. This in turn affects the degree to which we commit ourselves to resolving the situation, and ultimately the outcome that we settle upon.

There exists within each of us the power to turn the tyranny of negative words into the genius of the positive, as well as the ability to place a new spin on those words that limit our thinking. For the most part, this power emanates from our ‘self-talk’; this is our internal dialogue – the words we say to ourselves as a result of the endless stream of thoughts that run through our heads every day. Harnessing our self-talk in this way is simple although it does take determination, time and practice to stop and evaluate what we are thinking.

The practice of exchanging a negative word for another with a more positive connotation is generally easier for adults than for children because of the relative difference in the size of our working vocabularies. As an aside, one could also argue a strong case for cultural differences between the generations – how often do we hear words such as wicked or sick to describe something positive? We can help our children use their self-talk more effectively by assisting them to broadening their working vocabulary, particularly within the domain of positive words. For instance,

a PROBLEM becomes a SITUATION
A problem seems as though it is stuck to you and will always be there. A situation, on the other hand, seems temporary and solvable.

ALWAYS and NEVER become OFTEN and SELDOM
Used in critical and negative contexts always and never are rarely true and exaggerate a situation.


SHOULD have becomes COULD have
The words, should have, create guilt and shame for something that has already been done and cannot be changed, whereas the words, could have, don't condemn anyone. They let us know we had a choice, and this experience then becomes a lesson for making better choices in the future.


MISTAKES become VALUABLE LESSONS
This is similar to the example above. The first way makes others feel ashamed of what they did, and will probably inhibit them from trying new things in the future. The second way gives others something positive to do – to learn from their actions, thereby encouraging learning and experimentation.


too HARD becomes somewhat CHALLENGING
To say that something is, too hard, implies that the situation is impossible to resolve and that we resign ourselves to failure. On the other hand, to say that a situation is challenging, recognises that there are as yet unrecognised pathways to a solution, we just need to find them.


So, before we allow the words to take control of us without considering what they mean, remember this one very important word - THINK.

Lasting accomplishments come when we change our behaviours as well as our thinking. These are important skills that we also need to model and reinforce with our children.
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Raising Global Citizens: Five Noble Truths

September 11th 2009 09:54
Whatever you are, be a good one!
~Abraham Lincoln~

Children are our future

There is little doubt that the ready accessibility of information and communication technologies (ICTs) from a very early age is diminishing the innocence of childhood. An equally obvious consequence of this is that our children are taking up the mantle lof citizenship not just on a local scale but on a national and international level from an equally early age. They are, in effect, assuming the new role of 'global citizen'.

All you have to do is read the paper or listen to the news and you hear daily of the challenges we face in the business world, in the political world, in the environment, and in the global community – conflicts of interest on the part of our elected leaders, failures of trust and of ethics as well as crises of character and of leadership. They occur not just as single, obvious events, but often as a result of small decisions and incremental acts that ultimately lead people in the wrong direction. And in large ways and small, our children will face similar crises and challenges throughout their life.

We will need …

good scientists to address the environmental issues facing our world;

good economists to manage fairly and justly the wealth of the world;

good politicians and diplomats to pursue world peace and harmony;

we will need courageous, compassionate people who care for all.

We will need their creativity, their enthusiasm, their energy, their fresh ideas, and their commitment to a better future for all of us.

Education is a powerful tool. And whether you recognise it, or not, our children's education has the potential to put them in a position to inspire and lead others in our community — for better or for worse. Education is also a privilege, and with privilege comes responsibility. How they meet that responsibility will determine whether and how they are successful, and whether and how they can make this world a better place.

Five Noble Truths

We live in a time in which great emphasis is put on practical outcome, and while this is important so is the manner in which those practical outcomes are achieved.
So, how do we prepare and equip our children to meet these challenges as well as maintain high personal standards, and ambition? Well, the answer lies within the sense of community and belonging that we all share. Woven into the fabric that gives us our sense of community are five noble truths.

The first of the Noble Truths is Integrity:
An important point that needs to be made here is that it is not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity. Integrity is about consistently doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching, across time, moods, and other factors.
In so doing, we need to teach our children to ...

be diligent, embrace hard work and persevere;

be honest, truthful and sincere in their dealings with others, and in reflecting upon themselves;

be responsible, and not abstain from their sense duty;

be simultaneously dependable, reliable, and trustworthy without compromising their core values; and

be fair.

Integrity is one of the most difficult core human qualities to develop and maintain, yet when practiced consistently is the most satisfying because it is the essence success.

The second truth is Wisdom:
Wisdom is not just a matter of intelligence; it is also about exercising the ability to make morally correct judgements and decisions. We cultivate our wisdom by treating learning as a life-long endeavour, and take the time to reflect meta-cognitively on our experiences and learnings, both formal and informal. It is also that quality which enables each of us to look at a decision, a thought, or an act, in all of its pertinent relationships and know the best goal to aim for, and the most effective way to achieve it.

In assisting our children to develop the capacity to act with wisdom we need to encourage them to …

use their intellect to avoid the allure of mediocrity and perform at an outstanding personal level;

recognise relevant, practical and challenging experiences as having inherent value in their pursuit of learning;

use the power of knowledge to draw upon a confident understanding of what they have learnt, along with the ability to use it for a specific purpose;

be prudent and make sound and cautious judgements in practical affairs;

show temperance in exercising self-control and modesty when making and taking decisions;

be just and moderate between selfishness and selflessness, and treat others equally;

show fortitude in acting in a consistently moral and ethical manner
.

Remember, wisdom is practiced but is never as a solely pragmatic or tactical act because it is about using our understanding of the nature of morality together with the ability to distinguish that which is right from that which is wrong.

The third truth is Compassion:
the point to be made here is that compassion is empathy, not sympathy, and is that quality in each of us which allows us to identify with, and understand, another’s situation, feelings, and motives. So, we need to teach our children to sense in others a wide range of emotions and provide supportive caring and intercessory prayer as needed.

As with each of these noble truths it is what we, ourselves, model that becomes the indelible lesson learned. So, show your compassion through the virtues of …

humility – be unpretentious and modest in your dealings with others.

tolerance – be open-minded when dealing with those who they may believe, behave or act in ways that you may not approve.

forgiveness – through your ability to cease feeling resentment or anger against another person for a perceived offence, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

patience – endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, and persevere calmly when faced with difficulties.

Remember that compassion results in measurable outcomes, such as job satisfaction, lives enriched, communities built, living standards raised, and poverty healed.

The fourth truth is Faith:
Integrity, wisdom, and compassion define who we are, but without faith our individual character is held in limbo. This is because faith helps us to deal with ‘life out of context’ and confront those defining moments that test the depth and breadth of our character.

So, we should encourage our children to be people of profound faith; for it is when understanding fails us, and we are at the edge between the known and the unknown, that faith helps bridge the gap until our understanding has grown to the necessary point. Faith provides us with the optimism that leads to achievement, for nothing is ever fully realised without some degree of hope or confidence.

There are three forms of faith that we should encourage our children to develop …

faith in themselves. To belief in the truth and strength of their core values, trust in their integrity, and be confident in their ability to act in wisdom and with compassion.

faith in others. To embrace the belief of the oneness of all peoples which transcends cultural, economic, national and social boundaries; trust in the good character of others; and be confidence in your ability to live and relate to others in a Christ-like manner.

spiritual faith. To trust in the morality espoused through our spiritual values, and be confidence that we are part of a greater whole.

Remember, all things are possible for those who are able to maintain a healthy perspective between their core and dispositional beliefs.

The fifth and final truth is that of Courage
Often politically incorrect, Groucho Marx (the American comedian, actor and singer) was renowned for his honest and at times irreverent candour. He is reported to have said to an out-spoken guest at a dinner party …

"Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you"


The comment, far from being offensive, was an observation made in reference to the guest’s willingness to stand up for what he believed in room full of unlike-minded people; if only such personal integrity were more common in today’s society. As we prepare our children to take on the challenges of this world encourage them to be one of the many left in the room. Dare them to be the one too many, be different, be special. To stand up for what they believe, speak out, and make a difference.

In Conclusion

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. So bear in mind, that in the end success is the result of steady accretion. It is the person who carefully advances step by step, with their mind becoming progressively wider and wider who is better able to grasp any theme or situation".

So, whatever your child becomes [and they will want to be many things during the walk of life], encourage them to be a good one. Set your standards high and they will live up to them. You may not know where you go from here, or, you may have things all planned out. It doesn’t matter so much what you choose to do, what pathway you finally follow, or whether you duck and weave around issues — what matters is that you love your children, you give them your very best, and do both with integrity, wisdom, compassion, faith, and courage.

And may these Five Noble truths continue to serve as a practical guide to you and your children in maintaining a balanced perspective between ambition and the truth about all things.
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Seven Bridges

June 28th 2009 10:06
As parents we often forget that the basic road map of the journey of growth and development that our children are following is pretty much the same as the journey we ourselves have followed from birth to adulthood. Sure we are living in a very different world to that in which we grew up but while the social influences of the day may vary the bridges that we build to span our developmental needs do not. So it seems appropriate that we should take a moment to reflect on the journey we all share.

This is a journey that has followed a common path and involved the crossing of seven bridges, yet each step of it has been as individual as each us who pace it. The passage across each bridge confronts us as travelers with our own set of unique defining moments, instilling within us a set of indelible virtues and a character stamp that progressively define who we are and how we position themselves in life’s great journey


[ Click here to read more ]
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