Behold, a Nerd
May 4th 2008 01:20
Speaking plainly, Ms. Lola Tahlulah is a geek. It cannot be denied. It is a fact that I attempted to hide for years. I felt I was destined to be hip...a member of the literati that carried herself with the cool confidence that comes from knowing others wished they were you.
Then, quite recently, I found myself smack in the middle of what Oprah would call an "Ah-ha!" moment (see, you don't have to be one of the minions of rabid Oprah followers to find SOME of her insights useful).
I was sitting in my living room, locked in a desperate battle with my cat, Nicodemus. Nic is a lovely boy, but he has one undeniable flaw. He has very long hair on his rear, and as a result....well, there's no polite way to say it....his shit sticks to it. So, I am forced to shave that fur. He doesn't appreciate having his bum shaved, and resists with a violent fury.
Presently, we were in a dead heat, neither of us willing to submit to the other. I with one arm wrapped around his body, the other weilding the shaver; He with his claws dug firmly into my leg, howling like a banshee, and twisting and twirling his body to break free, as cats do. I was wishing he would quiet down, as I was attempting to listen to my favorite Talk Radio host, and I only had so much time, as I was scheduled to meet with a friend to play some bar bingo in less than an hour.
It was as all of this unfolded that a light came on for me. It was Saturday night, and I was blasting talk radio, getting ready to play Bingo, and shaving my cat's ass. I feeling welled up in me that I attempted at first to suppress. As, I looked around my apartment, I saw 4 shelves of books crammed into my living room, and additional two in the small bedroom, and one in the kitchen. I also saw video game equipment, more than any sophisticated young lady should own. Attatched to my fridge with a magnet was an invitation to be a guest judge for a high school debate competition (My debating skills from my school days are legendary in this town...well, at least legendary amongst those inclined to care about Lincoln Douglas style debates).
A chill began to creep up my spine. I was not cool. Not by a long shot. I was a nerd, and a rather big one, at that. I spent the duration of the night dwelling on this revelation.
Since then, something rather remarkable has happened. I am completely comfortable with the nerd label. Point of fact, I embrace it. I wear it as a badge of honor, and at times, I try to "out-nerd" other people, and I usually win.
The reason I share this tale is to expose a dirty little secret that many of us keep. It is that from the time we are able to categorize others, we begin to determine which category we would like to place ourselves in, and then we actively strive to be categorized as such by others. This may not even be a concious pursuit, but I believe that all of us on some level do it. Many of us may succeed in projecting the image and status that they desire, but how often is that how they carry themselves behind closed doors? I would submit that it is rare.
I would simply invite people to take a moment to review their most intimate surroundings and associations. If they are not reflective of the persona you are presenting in your public life, then you must do me one favor. Give yourself a chance. Try to get to know yourself...your real self. I can guarantee that you will like your true self better than the one you've been pimping to the rest of the world. Try it!
Then, quite recently, I found myself smack in the middle of what Oprah would call an "Ah-ha!" moment (see, you don't have to be one of the minions of rabid Oprah followers to find SOME of her insights useful).
I was sitting in my living room, locked in a desperate battle with my cat, Nicodemus. Nic is a lovely boy, but he has one undeniable flaw. He has very long hair on his rear, and as a result....well, there's no polite way to say it....his shit sticks to it. So, I am forced to shave that fur. He doesn't appreciate having his bum shaved, and resists with a violent fury.
Presently, we were in a dead heat, neither of us willing to submit to the other. I with one arm wrapped around his body, the other weilding the shaver; He with his claws dug firmly into my leg, howling like a banshee, and twisting and twirling his body to break free, as cats do. I was wishing he would quiet down, as I was attempting to listen to my favorite Talk Radio host, and I only had so much time, as I was scheduled to meet with a friend to play some bar bingo in less than an hour.
It was as all of this unfolded that a light came on for me. It was Saturday night, and I was blasting talk radio, getting ready to play Bingo, and shaving my cat's ass. I feeling welled up in me that I attempted at first to suppress. As, I looked around my apartment, I saw 4 shelves of books crammed into my living room, and additional two in the small bedroom, and one in the kitchen. I also saw video game equipment, more than any sophisticated young lady should own. Attatched to my fridge with a magnet was an invitation to be a guest judge for a high school debate competition (My debating skills from my school days are legendary in this town...well, at least legendary amongst those inclined to care about Lincoln Douglas style debates).
A chill began to creep up my spine. I was not cool. Not by a long shot. I was a nerd, and a rather big one, at that. I spent the duration of the night dwelling on this revelation.
Since then, something rather remarkable has happened. I am completely comfortable with the nerd label. Point of fact, I embrace it. I wear it as a badge of honor, and at times, I try to "out-nerd" other people, and I usually win.
The reason I share this tale is to expose a dirty little secret that many of us keep. It is that from the time we are able to categorize others, we begin to determine which category we would like to place ourselves in, and then we actively strive to be categorized as such by others. This may not even be a concious pursuit, but I believe that all of us on some level do it. Many of us may succeed in projecting the image and status that they desire, but how often is that how they carry themselves behind closed doors? I would submit that it is rare.
I would simply invite people to take a moment to review their most intimate surroundings and associations. If they are not reflective of the persona you are presenting in your public life, then you must do me one favor. Give yourself a chance. Try to get to know yourself...your real self. I can guarantee that you will like your true self better than the one you've been pimping to the rest of the world. Try it!
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Comment by Cheryl J
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I think we nerds are way cooler than the 'cool' people anyway.
Now I'm off to dust my bookshelves and then play Battleship against my computer. In the twisted words of Helen Reddy, I am nerd, hear me roar.
Comment by Tyronne
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Comment by Lola Tahlulah
Lola Tahlulah