Be Kind To Your Testicles
December 16th 2006 15:06
I don't mean to over-state the obvious, but sometimes after a good whack to the crotch, certain insights generate a new clarity. And now, after having a basketball slam squarely into my testicular region, I know that the scrotum is nothing more than a container. Not a protective sac, really. Just a container and transport medium to get the ballage from point A to point B.
Do you ever wonder why the testicles are sooooo sensitive to assault? Why would these little orbs of reproductive verve lend themselves to such comprehensive and debilitating pain? Oh how I long for the protective shell afforded by nature to walnuts.
I suppose I could purchase a protective cup used by many an athlete who places the dangling duo at risk in pursuit of the win and the paycheck. But, like many other pieces of protective and aesthetic adornment, the cup is unwieldly. Though it does produce quite an impressive bulge. I'm just saying.
No, it seems quite clear to me that the reason such pain is generated from testicular assault is because the balls/nuts/gonads are essential to life. They are the marvelous pea pods of productivity, and without them, the species would suffer. Hormones and sperm and all such things.
So, guys (and gals), value your nuttage as the magnificently important team that they are. Protect them for the species. And, if you find it particularly necessary, find someone who will give the proverbial testicluar massage every once in a while.
Do it for the species.
FOR THE SPECIES, I SAY.
deorre
Do you ever wonder why the testicles are sooooo sensitive to assault? Why would these little orbs of reproductive verve lend themselves to such comprehensive and debilitating pain? Oh how I long for the protective shell afforded by nature to walnuts.
I suppose I could purchase a protective cup used by many an athlete who places the dangling duo at risk in pursuit of the win and the paycheck. But, like many other pieces of protective and aesthetic adornment, the cup is unwieldly. Though it does produce quite an impressive bulge. I'm just saying.
No, it seems quite clear to me that the reason such pain is generated from testicular assault is because the balls/nuts/gonads are essential to life. They are the marvelous pea pods of productivity, and without them, the species would suffer. Hormones and sperm and all such things.
So, guys (and gals), value your nuttage as the magnificently important team that they are. Protect them for the species. And, if you find it particularly necessary, find someone who will give the proverbial testicluar massage every once in a while.
Do it for the species.
FOR THE SPECIES, I SAY.
deorre
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