Are You Really Who You Think You Are?
September 1st 2011 06:02
How would you feel if someone was to suggest to you that probably, you are not who you think you are? In fact, you are so much more than you can imagine. I’ll bet you’d maybe give a rough smile, or a shrug, or even a throwaway line like: Oh yeah, heard that before. Does it sound like a lot of the usual stuff some people write about discovering hidden potential? I totally agree, and hey, I’ve just written it. But I also think it’s true.
I love this quote which is accredited to Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right". To me, this reinforces the power of thought, which reinforces the power of the mind in creating us in our own image. I wonder how strongly Mr Ford believed: I can: because he most definitely changed the world which meant he made an amazing difference to the lives of subsequent generations of people.
All of us operate and live our lives from how we perceive what is going on around us. We develop an inner map which gives us directions to move here or there, to understand things, to accept or reject ideas, to respond in certain ways to situations. We will also develop some habits, good or bad. And we will most definitely have a fair number of tried and trusted strategies we use every day which make us feel secure and comfortable within our unique and individual map of understandings and perceptions. You and I experience the world, even the same events, in totally different ways to people standing right beside us.
For example, you and I will each have a certain strategy for how we clean our teeth. How does yours begin: by picking up the toothbrush, or getting a glass of water, or getting the toothpaste tube ready? It can be fun to sit with your friends and find out how individual we all are in doing such a simple thing. It goes further than that.
You will run a strategy when you buy something. It may begin with how you feel about shopping; the reasons you run through in your mind for purchasing; how much research you may or may not do before hand; how much pleasure or not you get from shopping; if you like to see, feel and touch products first; if you prefer to get assistant’s help in telling you stuff or not; and when you do or do not decide to buy. Does this sound interesting? It is even more than that.
We are more often than not running strategies today that began when we were 7 or 8 or 9 years old, or even younger, when we made a decision about a situation that happened to us or to someone close to us. If you think back to who you were as a child and who you are now, does it seem sensible or even smart
to still be responding to things in life at 30, 40 or 50, in the same way you did back then? The fact is, any strategy has served the individual in some way or another. Then there comes the time when you notice life is not happening the way you want and this often means your unconscious mind is telling you it’s time to make some changes. The good news is you and I and everyone can change any old, unwanted strategy and replace it with a more resourceful one that is relevant to the person you now are.
When I discovered this was how I managed my life, I was absolutely fascinated, as well as going through a range of other emotions because I began to realise how my map and range of strategies I was running had built quite an interesting and life defining selection of boundaries around me. This meant that I had not gone as far in my life as I might have done. It also gave me understanding of why I had made some decisions. I understood those difficult times when I had been uncomfortable and unhappy and done things I realised in hindsight were not the best decisions I had made.
Of course, I know that I am so much more than a mind and body. As Soul, I am limitless and boundless and have universal potential. However, as long as I am living this life within this physical body, surely it means that I must find out as much as I can about this self, which is the vehicle and tool Soul is using to gain as much experience as possible during this lifetime.
So is positive thinking about yourself enough to bring change and improve the quality of your life? Remember the black American boxer called Cassius Clay who won a gold medal in the Rome Olympics in 1960? He then went on to become an international superstar in the world of boxing and we all knew his catch phrase: "I am the greatest!" His success continued, after changing his name and religion, to achieve 57 wins and only 5 losses. Muhammed Ali’s hard work to rise above setbacks and adversity, combined with diligent training and indomitable courage, was constantly armoured by his self belief. And because of all of this, he became known around the world as The Greatest and one of America’s most beloved heroes.
Henry Ford and Muhammed Ali are clearly two of society’s more outstanding examples of success, self belief and determination. There are many from all walks of life: Mother Theresa of Calcutta, Sir Robert Helpman, the famous Australian ballet dancer and choreographer, Stephen Hawking, the brilliant British physicist who suffers from motor neuron disease. We are not all meant to be internationally recognised figures, but we are all meant to be the absolute best we possibly can be.
What can an individual do to begin finding out what boundaries there might be within their internal maps and what unresourceful strategies they might be running which are most likely preventing them becoming the successful person they can be?
Success can be becoming the best parent your children could ever have; building your dream home in the environment you’ve always dreamed of; finding your dream job and achieving amazing success in it; becoming the best: teacher, doctor, builder, dentist, artist, performer, small business owner…whatever. All of us were born whole and complete, then life experiences began to exert influences on us in all the many possible ways it can.
I’d begin by writing down about 10-20 things you know about yourself. These could be: I am a shoe sales person. I am a mother. I am a student. I am 38 years old. These are all absolute certainties.
Then write 10-20 things about the kind of person you believe yourself to be. I am kind. I am a procrastinator. I am brilliant at maths. I am lazy. I am afraid of spiders. I am addicted to chocolate. Just let these beliefs stream out and don’t
censor yourself in any way. Now single out the negative ones and highlight them.
Begin with the one which has most resonance for you, the one that has the strongest emotional connection for you. Then do this same exercise for all the rest. You might find links between some. Write down answers to these questions:
• How is writing down this belief making you feel right now?
• When was the first time you felt this?
Describe it: who, where, when, what was said?
• What have been the long term effects of this?
• How has holding onto this belief benefitted you?
• What has this belief cost you?
• What could you start to believe about yourself instead from now on?
The Russian author, Leo Tolstoy is credited as saying: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
You can change any belief, any behaviour, any habit, any strategy whenever you like.
Most of us created our maps to keep ourselves safe and in doing so placed limitations and boundaries on our hopes and dreams. When you can reshape your map, extend the boundaries, and redesign your thinking about how and who you are, I guarantee life will open up in ways that will offer you exciting and challenging and stimulating avenues.
I wish you well on your journey.
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