Are you aware?
June 13th 2008 23:06
Are you aware of the struggles we live through, every day? Are you aware of the pain that people can feel and have felt?
Do you know what it's like to be poor? Do you know what it's like to be on the edge of homelessness? To be suffering from depression? To feel as though nothing can go right? Do you know what it's like to be near starving, but never quite starving?
I know all of these things. I have survived all of these things. I have lived on welfare; I have almost been kicked out of my house; I have survived off of the generosity of better off family members.
To do what? Waste away like my mother, rotting in self-destructive depression and introverted fear? To drop out of school because I'm too depressed to make it through? No. I'm not going to do that. So many of my relatives have such high hopes for me. I know they do. Even the ones that don't outright say it.
They all hope that I can make something of myself, and I hope so too. But it's so hard, and so painful, even to live from day to day with no obligations. Obligations just make life that much worse. And I'm an escapist at heart. Escape to my fantasy worlds.
Escape to my video games, my movies, my fantasy worlds.
Well that's just too bad for me because it's time to face the music. It's time to realize that I HAVE to go somewhere with this life. I have to. I can't let my family down. It's hardwired into my system-even if I won't do it for myself, I will do it for them. And that is what I am doing.
I love to write. Writing is my passion. And I hope that when I'm moved out, someday then, writing will be my career. Writing will be able to pay my bills and feed me. I write. I write a lot, mostly poetry, which is the hardest stuff to market.
And now, I am going to write to make people aware of all the pain that I have felt and that others have felt around me. To make people aware of what they can do to change the world. That is my goal. Because I am a writer at heart. And I hope that eventually, my blogs, at least one, will achieve some sort of recognition.
I hope that I will achieve some sort of recognition.
Because in that moment, my family will be smiling.
Do you know what it's like to be poor? Do you know what it's like to be on the edge of homelessness? To be suffering from depression? To feel as though nothing can go right? Do you know what it's like to be near starving, but never quite starving?
I know all of these things. I have survived all of these things. I have lived on welfare; I have almost been kicked out of my house; I have survived off of the generosity of better off family members.
To do what? Waste away like my mother, rotting in self-destructive depression and introverted fear? To drop out of school because I'm too depressed to make it through? No. I'm not going to do that. So many of my relatives have such high hopes for me. I know they do. Even the ones that don't outright say it.
They all hope that I can make something of myself, and I hope so too. But it's so hard, and so painful, even to live from day to day with no obligations. Obligations just make life that much worse. And I'm an escapist at heart. Escape to my fantasy worlds.
Escape to my video games, my movies, my fantasy worlds.
Well that's just too bad for me because it's time to face the music. It's time to realize that I HAVE to go somewhere with this life. I have to. I can't let my family down. It's hardwired into my system-even if I won't do it for myself, I will do it for them. And that is what I am doing.
I love to write. Writing is my passion. And I hope that when I'm moved out, someday then, writing will be my career. Writing will be able to pay my bills and feed me. I write. I write a lot, mostly poetry, which is the hardest stuff to market.
And now, I am going to write to make people aware of all the pain that I have felt and that others have felt around me. To make people aware of what they can do to change the world. That is my goal. Because I am a writer at heart. And I hope that eventually, my blogs, at least one, will achieve some sort of recognition.
I hope that I will achieve some sort of recognition.
Because in that moment, my family will be smiling.
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Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Just remember you need the bad to appreciate the good, life is a series of ups and downs, no matter who you are, everyone has their issues its just when we are in the darkest times we feel alone in our pain.
There was a great quote on orble the other day, to paraphrase, when you are in hell, keep walking, if you stop, you'll never get out.
Keep your eyes on the prize and enjoy the pain for it is a journey to a better place.
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
Right now nothing's wrong but it feels as though there is; right now I SHOULDN'T be depressed. Everything's going well. I'm scared to lose it all, maybe. But I don't know.
I'm bipolar.
Thank you for your comment though,
~Dianna