Ann 1

Pumpkin Island, Queensland, AUSTRALIA


Joined February 20th 2008

Number of Posts:
19

Number of Comments:
69

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About Me
Oh God. My favourite subject. Me. What to write, though? For now, I'll just say this much. I'm a professional blogger.

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"I can smell your ink!"


Writing With The Senses.

Disregarding our sixth sense, and the interior enlightenment novice writers are convinced they possess, I want to concentrate on the five principal senses.

As creatures with bodies, we perceive things through our corporeal senses. We see, we hear, we touch, we smell, we taste.

We store these experiences in our brains (memory) and hearts (emotions).

Words act as triggers on our intellects and emotions. They recall the sights, the sounds, the feel, the smell and taste of objects.

‘Lamb roast’ usually elicits a range of responses, besides Tom Cruise. Some people see the roast and the steam rising, or where they last had it, and whom they ate with, some hear it being carved, some hear the music that was playing at the time, some hear the social chit-chat of the time, some feel it sliding down their throat, or the feel of it raw during the preparation process, some feel lamb’s wool, some smell meat and mint and garlic and roast potatoes, some taste it, or the difference between the taste of lamb, beef, chicken and fish. Some do all of the above.

“Well, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Writing with the senses is about employing words to recall sights, sounds, and the feel and smell and taste of objects.

It’s about injecting a piece of writing with these sensory perceptions via words in order to trigger a certain response in the reader’s mind or emotions.

It’s great to set out with the aim of writing an emotional, passionate piece. But, if all you write is a piece littered with vague, abstract terms describing intangible objects like feelings, emotions and passions, you’re not writing with the senses. Or with much sense in regards to a sensible approach to writing?

So, after writing a page-and-a-half of how you feel about something or someone, you haven’t mentioned one of the exterior senses. It ends up about as interesting as listening to an hour-long phone conversation from your best friend whom has rung you up to tell you how much he or she is in love. And how much someone else is in love with him or her. And the entire conversation is about how they feel about each other. You nod. Go Yeah? And switch off?

They should invent a new genre: Post Vague Abstractionism. To cover the glut of emotional outpourings disguised as poetry and fiction narrative.

One of the reasons people don’t write with the senses is because they don’t even know what the term means? They’re too busy teaching themselves to write? And teaching others before learning how to? And wonder why after 2,000,000M words, their writing hasn’t improved? So they start a new book? Then another one? And another? And the third book is as bad as the first? And they can’t work out why? So they begin teaching others to write? With a view of learning how to themselves?

All of this might sound harsh, but that’s only because it is. If you want to improve as a writer, you’ll take it on board. If you want to spend another six months not improving, totally disregard it. Or take it personally? As though it’s not just stuff passed on that might be of benefit to someone willing to learn?

If you already know all this? Then view it as a reminder and nothing else. Or totally disregard it. This is not for you.

Write with the senses and let your reader experience the emotion and passion of the moment(s).

Let’s take a couple of classic scenarios: Boy Meets Girl and they fall in love. Boy and Girl break up with each other and fall in hate.

Some ‘writers’ will focus on all the interior emotions and write such rubbish as, ‘I knew I was in love with him/her the moment we met. I just knew it. I could tell.’ Then the clichés come thick and fast. It was love at first sight. My heart was racing. And on fire at the same time? Someone call 000 or 911? Ambulance, thanks.

Then when it comes to the break up, the writing is full of loneliness and despair and hate. Still no writing with the senses. Or sense itself?

Nothing tangible exists for the reader to focus on, or grasp hold of in this type of writing. Some people like this ‘style’ of writing. I’ll leave them to it.

Whereas if you write with the senses, it completely transforms the story into something worthwhile reading.

Once you’ve written a passage, and let’s say, for example, it is the scenario of boy meets girl, when you read your own writing, what do you discover in relation to the following?

The Sense of Sight:

What do you see?

The Sense of Sound.

What do you hear?

The Sense of Feel:

What do you feel like you’re touching?

The Sense of Smell:

What odours are present? Or, what do you smell?

The Sense of Taste:

What do you taste?

Do the ‘boy meets girl’ writing exercise. Limit yourself to an hour maximum. And just try to include all five senses in the piece.


I knew I was in trouble the moment I noticed Louie wasn’t wearing panties. It was exactly the type of trouble I was looking for when I agreed to meet her in Brighton. There was more material in the white cotton hankie in my pocket than there was in the mosquito-red outfit she was wearing. The sound of the chef in the kitchen at Half Moon Café stropping his knife against the emery block should have acted as a distraction, but it only made me imagine her in a barber’s stool, and the barber using his blades and scissors to snip and shave her pubes into a landing strip. “They do a good carpetbag steak here,” I said, as she leaned forward. “It’s a juicy fillet of steak cut open and filled with oysters.” She tried to contain her amusement, nearly choked on her own smirk, and three short puffs of laughter came out of her nostrils. Her cheeks flushed like a toilet cistern with a red duck deodoriser clamped to the bowl. I don’t know the name of the perfume she was wearing but it made me feel like I was in a sauna, and the steam was generated from a heated bath full of coconut milk, cinnamon sticks and ripe cherries. I put my fist to my mouth as though I was about to cough, and bit into my index finger. My own flesh tasted like stale tobacco and smoky car rides. Louie reached under the table and grabbed me on the leg just above the knee. “I might go for the sausage,” she said, and the special combo of her shrill laughter and my bellowing did more than break the ice in the water jug. It shattered it into tiny fragments, and bitterly disturbed the lemon rind. I flipped the menu shut. “Want to forget the meal altogether, and just go?”

It’s not world class writing, but it’s a lot better than writing about how I met this chick I really, really liked because she had a sick sense of humour.
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"If you've seen it in print, dont use it," is one of the best pieces of writing advice I was ever given.

Do you want to be original?

Do you want to be known as someone who never plagiarised another writer's work?

I do.

Many don't. Wealth and fame at any price?

Food for thought? For you to chew upon?



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Mutton dressing up Lamb

September 18th 2008 23:05


She blew into town on the back of a heatwave
the same December day, a hot northerly invaded nearly every street
and covered so many houses in foreign dirt

She certainly left her mark

Dusty footprints, running naked through back yards
a bundle of clothes wrapped up in her arms
like the child she would never have
like the children asleep in the various rooms
as mummy's headlights splashed the front of the house
and daddy slipped his trousers on

Husbands forget their wives
how much their ovens have slaved
and over sunday roast
speak of how lamb is younger than mutton
how it looks and tastes better, too

Wool is not on their minds

Bushfires threaten country towns
but loose women do much more damage





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Flapping in your breeze

March 25th 2008 18:37
I thought I'd write a bit of poetry. I've never published poetry before. I only ever wrote it for my husband. I was going through a few of my old things tonight, as I always do around the anniversary of his death, and found a few poems I wrote for him.


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when I was a young woman in my first prime (And I write 'first prime' because, even though I'm an elderly woman, I'm in another prime, and still a pretty good damn catch for some wrinkly old man in his second prime


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High Horses and Low Horses

March 21st 2008 21:13
I think the medication has finally kicked in. So it should. I took a whole packet of anti-depressants this morning. And just sat around waiting for them to work. got to the stage where I had to wash my thyroid tablets down with brandy.

Doctors are strange. They say things like, "You shouldn't drink or smoke." inter alia et al & etc. Well, perhaps we shouldn't breathe because it's dangerous for our health? Doctors? I tell you. They sit there and charge $50 for a five minute visit. If I was getting paid $50 every five minutes to tell people how to look after their health, I wouldn't have any health problems


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Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits me here, ever this day (and night) be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.


This, having my own domain on Orble, is a bit frightening. Thank goodness I have my meds, and my doctor gives me repeat prescriptions to cover the days I swallow a whole packet of anti-depressants before even getting out of bed. To have a glass of water and wash the chalky residue down my throat. Anti-depressant tablets are like lollies if you crunch them. I pretend they're Crown Mints and I'm a child again. And I'm just frollicking in the quadrange at school during recess time. In my school uniform. Young Ann Onnamuss. Shunned by all her classmates because she's too weird


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I'm lying prostrate on the floor as I type this, because it's my way of saying sorry I haven't posted for a while. If I make a few typos? You'll have to excuse me. I can't see the keyboard from this submissive female position.

I'm even struggling to keep my petticoat afloat


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Dear Orblers and Orblettes


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Sleeping Turrets.

March 11th 2008 19:33


I was going to write my first blog on my new domain about having a new domain, and how grateful I am to Orble, Jon, Charles, the Orble community, the global community, and the world in general, including the plants and stones and the air, and the little fishies


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Recent Comments

Comment by Ann 1
on Revision & Enforcement

November 25th 2008 03:28
Dearie, dearie, dearie, dearie, dearie, dearime Me.

I haven't laughed this much since the last time I laughed. A laugh a day costs less than apples or a visit to a doctor. A laugh at your own expense costs the same as a laugh at someone else's. To those who say nothing is free in this life, I say, give laughter a go. But not at the doctor's surgery or the greengrocers. You'll end up paying for your laugh. Laugh at home. It's free. Laughter at the doctor's costs about $50/visit. If you find being told you have terminal cancer amusing. That's one expensive laugh at your own expense. Laughter at the greengrocers costs about $6/kilo. That's one weighty laugh. If the price of apples makes you laugh, don't buy too many. While apple seeds are the best thing going in the fight against cancer, even farmers who own apple orchards die from cancer, and grieving, farming families find nothing to laugh about when they get their medical and funeral bills. I did want to say something about Mozart. Oh, that's right. He makes me laugh.

Comment by Ann 1
on More Dreaming

October 19th 2008 03:52
I was going to grow my armpit hair long enough to braid it.

*Sigh* If only there were more feral women in the world.

This post makes far too much sense.

Comment by Ann 1
on If you've seen it in print. Don't use it.

October 12th 2008 20:36
Chris,

Great comment.

It certainly helped in relation to the queries Daniel had with the concept. So thanks for that.

I particularly like these parts, and think they deserve to be repeated::

Plagiarism and use of cliches are writing crimes.

Honest writers will attribute as appropriate. Good writers will dress the idea up in entirely new clothes

which is fair enough given that there are no new ideas ("There is nothing new under the sun ... ", Ambrose Bierce).

This might seem a bit left-field, and may not be all that popular considering the anti-God sentiment rampant on the net, but I've always liked the following quote from St John's Apocalypse in relation to writing (regardless of whether it has anything to do with writing or not):

And he that sat on the throne, said: Behold, I make all things new. And he said to me: Write, for these words are most faithful and true.

And I agree with this.

However, there is a line, of course, between a fresh presentation of an idea and a largely copied one, and it can take experience, along with talent and intent, to know where the line is.

Again, your comment is such a great comment.

Comment by Ann 1
on If you've seen it in print. Don't use it.

October 12th 2008 20:27
Daniel,

It's all okay. Apology accepted. Not that I think there's much to apologisie for. It was a misunderstanding on both sides. Text often causes those problems.

My creative writing teacher gave me that advice. Along with a lot of other advice I'd never heard before. It was just something that stuck in my mind.

Chris's comment probably sums it up:

Plagiarism and use of cliches are writing crimes.

And he also introduces something else that has to be taken into consideration regarding the context of the point of 'If you've seen it in print, don't use it.':

"There is nothing new under the sun ... ", Ambrose Bierce

At the end of the day, it's really good advice once it is put in context. And if it takes a few misunderstandings to get the point across, I think it's worthwhile, because once the point is grasped, it's an invaulable one.

PS: That will teach me for writing such a lazy post. I could have avoided all this if I'd expanded on the point in the first instance.

Comment by Ann 1
on If you've seen it in print. Don't use it.

October 12th 2008 09:57
Daniel,

Don't worry about it.

There wasn't really much point to the post at all. If you knew me better, you'd realise most Orblers don't see any point to any of my posts. Or to my existence.

If anything, it was a reminder to myself. The advice makes sense to me, but then I was given the advice in real life in a classroom situation.

As to insults? There weren't any. I just don't think people actually get my sense of humour. I thought what you wrote was funny. I was retorting.

Comment by Ann 1
on If you've seen it in print. Don't use it.

October 12th 2008 09:53
Michaelie,

See above.

Comment by Ann 1
on Zoloft Stocks Soar as Depression Sinks In

October 12th 2008 00:18
Joining the Boy Scouts seems to be the way to go if you want to punch out a successful career.

Comment by Ann 1
on Zoloft Stocks Soar as Depression Sinks In

October 12th 2008 00:00
I don't recall the incident. Is he related to Leo Barry?