pieceofmymindAm I Still In Kansas? Where Is Auntie Em?
June 4th 2007 19:53
Oh how I wish this cyclone of chaos in my life would end with me walking out the door into a beautiful new environment like Dorothy did when the house landed on the witch. Unfortunately for me, I have to continually ride the wave, and when I open the door the view is the same, and I am becoming the witch.
My grandmother is on her death bed and it seems that everything else is moving in slow motion. I have homework. I turned in my assignments, and will continue to do so, but I find that school work is such a drag now. I haven’t cooked in my kitchen in almost a month, unless you count frozen pizza, and I feel like I don’t know my husband anymore. Hopefully he won’t start looking for a girlfriend any time too soon or turn to a life of Internet porn because I am not putting out as much as I used to. We went from having a lot of sex to having almost no sex at all; my mind is consumed with thoughts of taking care of my grandmother and what is going to happen next – is that a reasonable excuse? Not that I am making excuses, that’s just what is going on.
I don’t want my grandmother to go, but in a bittersweet sort of way, I want this to be over. It seems like the majority of the stress is falling on me. I am here every week day, and even on the weekends, I am paying a visit to drop off groceries or something like that. I am tired. I need a drink. No, I need a few drinks. As a matter of fact, I take charity alcoholic beverage offers if you feel generous…
Seriously though, I have to hold on to my humor in the midst of this. My grandmother is slowly changing into this different person; she can’t even walk anymore. I feel like I am in a really sad movie.
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