Are you going insane? Early signs.
October 1st 2006 06:24
Mad Fred
Legend has it that Friedrich Nietzsche went completely insane with syphilis after a single act of sex with a prostitute called Salome. This seems a little unfair. Only 25% of those who catch this disease go onto the second stage and 25% of them develop the third, general paralysis of the insane, a condition basically where little organisms call spirochetes eat out your brain cells. A lot of people thought him loony enough because of the ideas he espoused before he went really insane but there was not doubt when that happened. He spent the remainder of his life raving on about how he was the greatest philosopher who ever lived.
Here are some tips for those who are wondering whether they should book themselves into the local sanitarium.
Knowing everything – this probably means that adolescents are insane. There is a good case for this. Having tried every thing else they should try their hands at brain surgery...
Hating everyone – for the insane person this seems perfectly reasonable because everyone seems to hate them for reasons they somehow cannot explain.
Going nowhere – how long has it been since you left your room. The person who has a stereo, LCD TV, microwave, fridge, sink and library in his room needs to take a look at himself or, alternately stop looking at himself...
Owning nothing - could it be that the fact you are penniless, unemployed and own nothing except your underpants is a sign that things might not be quite right up top.
In short the mad person is going nowhere and doing it very very slowly.
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Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Comment by Damo
The unkind may say it is poetic justice but who is that unkind.
If I score 5 out of five in the test above I'm insane, and if I score 0 out of 5 I am still sane?
Is there a dividing mark so that decide how insane I may be?
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
A.H.
Comment by Ruth
NSW
ACT
VIC
SA
WA
NT
Know everything - check.
Hate everyone - At times.
Going nowhere - I sit in a chair infront of a computer for hours on end.
Owning nothing - yep.
Seeing no one - certainly no one from work.
Comment by MichaelB
Diet Dog
Comment by LauraP
I don't know everything.
I love everyone.
Ok, I don't get out much, but I like to get out.
I own way too much crap if you ask me.
And I do see people occasionally.... when I get out.
Comment by spain01
Juan Carlos
spain again
While your'e about it
Viva l'difference
Fire News Blog
Cities dying of thirst.
green for me which means I am the Queen of England or maybe David Beckham's left foot.
Damo is sane because - he is contributing to orble, he is wondering whether he is insane or not
(mad people have no doubts THEY ARE SANE)
Andrea is insane for having children in the modern world who are in danger of becoming adolescents.
Ruth is sane because insanity is a continuous state. You can't be insane at work and suddenly sane at home. She is probably arguably insane for going to work in the first place.
Michael is only nearly insane because he has suddenly discovered he is Jesus but is reluctant to admit it and as soon as he is sure we can send the white coats.
Laura - we don't know about you because you may not have insight but if you own lots of stuff you can relax. On the other hand you may think you own lots of stuff, like the Sydney Opera House and the Guggenheim Museme, then you can put your hand up.
Remember the really crazy thing about crazy people is not what they believe but the way they believe it. If you know what I mean.
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