pans suite
December 6th 2009 09:48
MATURE CONTENT
Alexander J
Moscow, Idaho, UNITED STATES
Joined July 30th 2008
Number of Posts:
3
Number of Comments:
0
Karma:
3
Recent Posts A conceptual duality like cats and unicornsNovember 9th 2008 10:03
Lazy and pointy in an uncomfortable way.. or wait. What? "Get to the point you loon!" I can hear you all saying. I stumbled across a graph listing characteristics of introversion on one side, and extroversion on the other. I was almost sucked in by this and started to go with my normal thought patterns. Following the list of introverted qualities and running them against situations in my life. How did I behave at this juncture and so on. I had earlier believed myself to be placed categorically. I was defiantly an introvert and part of my belief in being part of that category was to behave in accordance with characteristics associated with the belief.
I think it was more, my belief system defining my actions than my actions fitting the characteristics of a defining category. At this point at least, I've fostered a lot of extroverted qualities in my self because I used to be very shy. Although I had fostered these qualities, the first category I looked at was introversion. It was my old definition and still possessed a draw both mentally and physically. My eyes were instantly drawn to the category as it displayed across the screen and I could kind of feel that old hollow in my heart. I could write a quick web synopsis of this - borrowing from the top five google results using the watered down Jungian psychology. But I've had enough tavern drinks and have to work in the next five hours. I've decided to get my hands on the direct source through the mail and then devour its contents. but- as my point was going- first impulse- obviously people are a mixed mishmash of both intro and extroverted qualities but living in a world of definition one can fulfill a definition through its defining qualities. I am a whore, I act whorish. No! I may drop my pants now and then but because I fit one chapter in an anthology doesn't mean I can call a bingo. laymen says, "Don't let categories define you"
standing around all day on one legSeptember 25th 2008 20:24
I found my self lost in worry while taking a shower today and the day had only just begun. It seems that when I'm doing any repetitive task and especially all those daily mundane tasks, my mind has a chance to drift off and fixate on some horrible causality or shortcoming. Have I paid the bills? How am I going to pay the bills? Will there be a 3rd date? These are all pertinent questions to my maintainability!
While my muscles went through their wonderful programmed dance that bristled the muck off my teeth, I found my self dissatisfied with how my body / mind was performing. Honestly, I'm pretty bored with the whole concept of killing my body with extensive stress. In a more lucid moment I realized that I am primarily constructed of stresses and layered upon my own stress are the stresses of other people. I mean, from a biological perspective we have all the environmental stress that is natural to any living organism. As human beings we have societal stress factors which of course do their fair part. That is how I found my self standing on one leg for a half hour while a variety of choice muscles from my calf to my lower back cramped and strained. This is called an Asana and the one I was doing I got from a book by Alister Crowley. I could have taken a low dose sedative that I got from the family physician and that would have put me in a nice relaxed state all day. I much prefer to take matters of my self and handle them.. well my self. Training this new muscle group proved to be highly effective in letting my mind "wander' as did already programmed muscle responses. The only difference was that the pain turned out to be a great reminder of what in fact was really going on. Try to just, experience a half hour in the complete present as it unfolds before your very eyes. This is a tricky deal to pull off and everyone knows that time fly's when you are having fun (or drags when you are being browbeaten at the office!). So I'm wobbling all over and stopping to check the time and generally the task master part of my brain (looks something like General Patton) all the while was demanding endurance, aptitude, and determination. I was, as the saying goes, "not full of win" today. Is that so bad? The point I'm working toward is a question that arose during my practice: "Is a practice that goes badly better than no practice at all?" The answer of course is, yes! The trick though, to make even the worst practice of utmost value is to be observant. How and Why did this or that happen and what was the reaction? Improvement needs to be realized through objective observation of the self. The fact that I did it and kept persisting up until the very end is worth so much. It is really the basis for the cliche - you know "not the destination but the path" and on and so forth. I'm not trying to be a worry free careless person but to gain the ability to not drown my self in stress while working to achieve my goals. I might understand the Yogi's more today than I ever have- You can't escape the pain of life but through training an endurance builds that lets you relax and enjoy a breath.
|
Read More
Add Comments