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Why is it when you see your ex with another person you get that horrible feeling in your stomach? It's not that feeling that you like them again, it's that final rip of your heart that they are completely over you and has found someone that makes them smile more than you ever could. Even when they don't intentionally rub it in your face that they moved on or tries to hide it so you don't feel bad, you still can't help to feel down. See when you break up with someone it's like a race to see who can find another person before the other one does. And when you are a person who doesn't attract the best of males which makes it even harder to find a decent guy, you always lose the race. But you learn to dust yourself off, deal with your feelings, and continue to wish the best for your ex because there was a time that all you wanted was them to be happy. The only difference is now it's not with you..
Have you ever had a time where you wish that everything at that exact moment would last forever. Where the way you feel, the person you are with, the place you are at, even the smells around you are just too perfect too want to let go. Yea.. but it's crazy because the same exact person in the same exact place with the same exact smell that made you feel incredible 1 day can make you feel pain you have never experienced the next. And you try so hard to get just a taste of that moment back where you were on cloud 9 and nothing could bring you down but you can't. Then you try to let go but your mind keeps getting stuck on the fact that something so bad was once so good and can't understand exactly why. In the end you are happy to have one moment in time where for once in your life everything was perfect that no one can ever take from you. And you are left with the realization that times change, even when you dont want them to..
I got an interesting request to discuss what my fantasy would include. The ingredients to a fantasy are very individualized. Personally, I like to keep my fantasies open, I never really have a specific guy or celebrity I like to think about. True, some ex boyfriends might slip into my dreams every now and then, but not intentionally. Instead, I like to focus more on the environment, whats happening around me. I also like to make sure each of my senses are taken care of. So as requested, here are the ingredients to my fantasy (without any details):
My Fantasy Ingredients
SIGHT
Nicely done up room: The location always changes for my fantasies. My top ones have water involved (bath, beach, etc). But Ill fall for any place that the guy has put some effort into making special. You know like traditional rose pedals, candles, etc.
SMELL
Hugo Boss Cologne or Sweet Pea Aroma: I am not picky with the scent, but I do like some sort of fresh smell. My favourite kinds of scents are the Hugo Boss cologne or sweet pea.
TASTE
Chocolate covered Strawberries: My favourite sweet with 1 of my favourite fruits all in one bite? Honestly it doesnt get too much better. I especially like the ones where they mix white and milk chocolate to make the strawberries look like they have tuxedoes on.
SOUND
A Slow Jam: this is a MUST, no music, nothing goes down. Which songs? Here are some of my favourites- Wanna be Close Avant; Ill Make Love to You Boyz II Men; Knocks Me off my Feet Donnell Jones; Back at One Brian McKnight; Color of Love Boyz II Men.. the guy gets even more points if he sings the song.. but if he cant sing well, he should just leave to the experts.
TOUCH
Candle wax: This is when the little freak comes out in me. For some reason, the feel of hot wax going cold on the skin intrigues me. But thats about as personal I will get with that.
Thats all the basics, but I would like to invite others to share their fantasy ingredients. It would be interesting to see what others have to say about this topic  .
Being in love is like being part of a secret society. You never know what goes on inside until you are a member. Being in love is truly amazing but this is only the tip of the iceberg. Love WILL make you do things you said you never would do or put up with. Love hurts because there's no rule that says love is a two way street and sometimes you may give your all to someone but get nothing in return. Love doesnt always conquer all. Your job, past, distance, and lack of time are some things that may prove to be to strong for your love that would otherwise blossom in another circumstance. Most of all love isnt true until it has been tested. Only then will you know how strong and deep it goes. This test, whatever form it may come in, is what decides whether you truly love someone or if you are with them because nothing better has come your way. But the best thing about love that everyone says and is so true is that in the end.. all the heartbreak, the obstacles, the tears.. it'll all be worth it when you find that one..
A common thing that most people say when they like someone is no matter what they want the best for that person. It just so happens that they feel the best thing for that person is themselves. But what if this isnt true? What if the person you care about and have feelings for is the perfect person for you but you arent the perfect person for them? Is it fair of you to try to steal their heart knowing they deserve so much better than what u can offer them? Dont get me wrong.. a person should never lower their standards but at the same time you should keep your standards at a level where u can give back the same amount you are asking for. If you want a guy or girl who is giving, intelligent, and romantic then u should be prepared to give the same thing in return because thats what they deserve. If you honestly want a person to have the best and you know you cant give that to them then maybe its time to let go..
How old is too old when looking for a partner. Or should I say how young is too young? I dont think there is a magic number for how many years between 2 people before it doesnt work. Instead, I think it is all about where each person is at in their life. This is why a 16 year old probably wouldnt work with a 20 year old but a 26 year old has good chances working with a 32 year old. In the first case, the 16 year old is still working through college thinking about which university to go through, while the 20 year old is wrapping up uni and thinking about career choices. They are at two different life stages, which could get in the way when trying to find goals to work on together. Even though in the second case there are 2 more years in the difference in age than the first one, they would be at a point in their life when they have chosen their careers and is maybe thinking about a family and things. Meaning, they are at similar levels.
Now this isnt to say all 16 and 20 year old couples cannot work or all 26 and 32 year olds would work. A persons maturity level and goals are completely individualized. But I think if you take the average person in these age groups, the rule would apply. What do you think?
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Why do peoples cheat? For the excitement and mysterious feeling you get when you know you are doing something you shouldnt? Maybe its because you are curious if there is something better out there, but you dont want to take the risk of letting go of your current mate and not finding someone better, so instead you just hide through cheating. Or is it just because you can and you like to flaunt? Whatever the answer may be, it rarely is because you want to hurt the people you are with and make their hearts feel like theyve been ripped from their chests right in front of their face.. BUT thats exactly what happens when someone finds out the person they cared for decided to have their cake and eat it too. People are not toys that you play with anyway and anytime you like, just to be thrown away later. And relationships arent meant to be used in a selfish manner. When you are involved with someone, it is no longer just about whatuo u want, its a 2 way street, its a compromise and cheating never fits into that equation. So to all the cheaters.. make a decision, stop being selfish, and start caring about people like they are humans with feelings. Because if u dont, I am a strong believer in karma and let me tell you, when she comes around, she is a bitch with no sympathy..
I don't know if anyone saw the Oprah episode awhile ago with Greg Behrendt, a former star on Sex and the City and the author of the book, He's Just Not that Into You, but it really was a must see for any girl who is unsure how a guy feels about her. The book is full of stories of girls trying to figure out the mixed messages being sent by the guys they like. Although each story is different, the ending is always the same... he's just not that into you.
Being a girl, I think we tend to overanalyze guys' reactions, trying to find the hidden feelings for us that just isn't there. Guys aren't always blunt with their feelings, but trust me if they like you, there are certain thngs they won't do. They won't take weeks to call you, only contact you through text messages, cancel plans with you, ignore you when he is with his guys, etc. If they are doing these things, you have to face the fact that they just aren't that into you. I know, we think that if the guy doesn't like us, then he should just make it easy and say so. But it is hard for any decent person to tell a person straight to their face "I really don't like you". No one in their right mind wants to hurt someone else's feelings. It is much easier to try to send out indirect messges or avoiding the person in hopes of them getting the hint.
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I am currently taking a class that discusses love and today we were talking about online relationships and how valid they are. Many people think it is impossible to fall in love with someone without having physical contact with them. Others say you can actually build a stronger relationship online because the love you have for that person goes deeper than the physical side; instead you fall in love with a personality which is somewhat of a higher love. I can see both arguments being true, but I think I agree more with the idea that you cant fall in love strictly from online chatting. I dont think any kind of video camera, microphone or messaging service can provide the contact you get when you are face to face with the person.
However, I do not feel online relationships are useless. Instead of thinking of them as a traditional love relationship, I think they are actually a good passage to a strong relationship outside of the internet. While the impersonal nature of the internet allows people to make up fake identities and appear any way they want which could cause lies to form in a relationship; the internet also is a place that people feel comfortable opening up. I know there are many things I have told my friends online that I could probably never tell them in person. This being said, it could be argued a relationship that is started online has the possibility of being more trustworthy than a relationship started offline because the two parties feel comfortable telling each other things they couldnt do in person. I also feel the internet creates an atmosphere where people can interact with others they normally wouldnt come in contact with. This opens the possibilities for more relationships.
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There are men who are beyond attractive that never pass by a girl without getting a second look. Then there are guys who are just sexy, who can lick their lips and make you shiver. But above all these men are the keepers. These are the ones who can be summed up into one word. They have the ability to make u want to smile, cry, and laugh by just saying hello. They may not be handsome to everyone's eyes but when you look at him, the dimple on his right cheek, the way his nose wrinkles when he smiles and the puppy eyes he gets when he misses you makes him become the best looking guy in the world to you. These are the men who appreciate you when you are alone as well as when you are with his boys. These guys are the ones who give you a sense of pride when talking about them because unlike others they have goals and they are doing things to achieve them. There are guys like this out there but you have to open your eyes because if u dont, the next girl will..
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