Kristin WolgemuthAbuse is Never Okay
June 16th 2009 15:20
In Response to a Post by Toni on storyfever.com
Have you ever Googled an ex? I’ll tell you what. I never had until today when I read this post. I was surprised by some of the news I found on him, but not all of it was a shock. Unfortunately, my ex was abusive to me during our relationship. At first it was verbal and emotional abuse, but toward the end of the relationship he got physically abusive. Well, stupid me didn’t leave right away after the first time he grabbed me by the neck and dragged me to the bed, where he threw me down and tried to punch me in the head (I successfully blocked the punch). After that he thought he could just threaten to hit me and I would be afraid enough to back down from whatever argument we were in. Well, he was right for a while. He hit me another time, too, as if just to remind me that he would, in fact, follow through if necessary. The third time he hit me, I called my little brother (who is rather big), and he helped me move things out that day. Luckily my ex had left the apartment and I had time to get out. I was able to move in with friends and eventually got about half of my things back. My ex stole a lot from me. I promised myself I would never again live with anyone unless I was married. Not that married people don’t steal from each other, but at least the marriage laws give one legal recourse. Plus, I did not feel comfortable not being married and living with someone (I was engaged only). I felt like I was living in sin.
Thinking about one ex-boyfriend of yours. Imagine you run into him/her at the bookstore. What is the first thing you'd say to him/her? Going with the same ex here, I’d say nothing if I could avoid him. If there was no way around him, I’d be polite and ask him how he was, but that’s where the niceties would end. I would not tell him I’m happy that he has an upcoming court hearing regarding a Protection from Abuse order his ex filed against him regarding their son. I would not tell him I’m happy he got yet another girl pregnant (never me!) and has another son (his second). I would not tell him that I’m glad he’s doing well and decided to take some college classes finally. I tried the entire time we were together to get him to start college and get a good job. Maybe I did wear off on him in that respect, but I don’t care. I would just want him away from me.
Have you ever wished you could get back together with an ex? I did get back together with this guy a few times. It was really stupid. Even after he hit me, I would leave for a night and go back anyway. It was ridiculous. I strongly advise anyone in an abusive relationship to leave. It’s a snowball’s chance in hell that that person will ever change for the better.
How are your relationships with any of your exes? Do you still keep in touch with them? I keep in touch with one or two of my exes, mostly because we didn’t have a very serious relationship. That made the transition to friendship much easier.
If you were to write a novel about an ex of yours, what would the first line of the novel be? Abuse is never okay and is never your fault.
Have you ever Googled an ex? I’ll tell you what. I never had until today when I read this post. I was surprised by some of the news I found on him, but not all of it was a shock. Unfortunately, my ex was abusive to me during our relationship. At first it was verbal and emotional abuse, but toward the end of the relationship he got physically abusive. Well, stupid me didn’t leave right away after the first time he grabbed me by the neck and dragged me to the bed, where he threw me down and tried to punch me in the head (I successfully blocked the punch). After that he thought he could just threaten to hit me and I would be afraid enough to back down from whatever argument we were in. Well, he was right for a while. He hit me another time, too, as if just to remind me that he would, in fact, follow through if necessary. The third time he hit me, I called my little brother (who is rather big), and he helped me move things out that day. Luckily my ex had left the apartment and I had time to get out. I was able to move in with friends and eventually got about half of my things back. My ex stole a lot from me. I promised myself I would never again live with anyone unless I was married. Not that married people don’t steal from each other, but at least the marriage laws give one legal recourse. Plus, I did not feel comfortable not being married and living with someone (I was engaged only). I felt like I was living in sin.
Thinking about one ex-boyfriend of yours. Imagine you run into him/her at the bookstore. What is the first thing you'd say to him/her? Going with the same ex here, I’d say nothing if I could avoid him. If there was no way around him, I’d be polite and ask him how he was, but that’s where the niceties would end. I would not tell him I’m happy that he has an upcoming court hearing regarding a Protection from Abuse order his ex filed against him regarding their son. I would not tell him I’m happy he got yet another girl pregnant (never me!) and has another son (his second). I would not tell him that I’m glad he’s doing well and decided to take some college classes finally. I tried the entire time we were together to get him to start college and get a good job. Maybe I did wear off on him in that respect, but I don’t care. I would just want him away from me.
Have you ever wished you could get back together with an ex? I did get back together with this guy a few times. It was really stupid. Even after he hit me, I would leave for a night and go back anyway. It was ridiculous. I strongly advise anyone in an abusive relationship to leave. It’s a snowball’s chance in hell that that person will ever change for the better.
How are your relationships with any of your exes? Do you still keep in touch with them? I keep in touch with one or two of my exes, mostly because we didn’t have a very serious relationship. That made the transition to friendship much easier.
If you were to write a novel about an ex of yours, what would the first line of the novel be? Abuse is never okay and is never your fault.
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