Aaron Venn

Sunny Sutherland Shire, Sydney, New South Wales, AUSTRALIA


Joined May 15th 2008

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Hey, Wha Happened?! I'll tell you! If it's NOW, HIP, PERT, SASSY, IN CAPITAL LETTERS, FUN, UNIQUE & FRESH then you'll be the first to know, or at least in the first 10....

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Lady Gaga Presents - The Fame Monster

December 3rd 2009 10:01
Like Madonna, Lady Gaga could read the phonebook, release that on a cd and i'd buy it.

She's just got something about her that makes me go OOOH.

So naturally the second The Fame Monster leaked I just had to have it.
Then, when it was physically available buy both versions
( the 2 disc with The Fame in a standard & digipack )
AND pre-order the Collector's Edition set that includes a lock of Gaga's wig and an
arty book!

I was on Twitter at around 4am one morning, you know, as you do, and someone gasped
"Bad Romance is up!"

I rushed over to her website to enjoy the film clip.

It brought me back.
Back to the days when Madonna did artfully confusing screens for her tours.
Remember the ReInvention Tour screens?
Weird outfits, backwards video, the occasional dog?

the clip for Bad Romance took me back to that joy.

I was already in love with the song, but the video finalised it for me.
It made me literally excited for the rest of the album.

Bad Romance, the first single, is a sexy, sassy, makes you march with sass around the room kind of song. Even her nonsensical ramblings of Rammah Oh La la make you want to sing along.

Alejandro, if taken literally, makes Gaga out to be a little bit of a town bike,
and she is asking that her multiple suitors, ie Alejandro, Roberto, Fernando, don't ask after
her once she's finished with them. And I say Hear Hear! Delightful.

Monster is nice. Though if I hear one more ditsy blonde young girl ask in a confused tone
"he ate my heart? what?' then I will push them down a flight of stairs. The moral of the song is she met a guy, who devoured her heart ( in love ) ruined her brain ( in love ) and then
left, thus he is a Monster. She's not singing it literally. Though I guess it's just the idiots of todays youth that can't understand a song.

Speechless is the most beautiful ballad I have heard from a songstress in many a year.
Since You'll See by Madonna i'll dear to say. Speechless is so heartful and powerful that you'll hang off every word and wonder if Gaga is alright. Emotional, poignant, fantastic.

Dance in the Dark was the 2nd song I ever heard after Bad Romance and I enjoyed it's beat but not as much as Bad Romance. But now, as part of the whole album, it is awesome.
It has a driving, sexy 80s beat and you can just picture some poor girl dancing by herself night after night, going home with someone, being used and abused, then turning up the very next night to do it all again. Aww.

Telephone. It's fan-f**king-tastic. If I hear another person say "Oh, you mean Videophone?"
I will also push them down a flight of stairs. Videophone, though an awesome song in it's own right, is also an awesome Beyonce song. Then, she just happened to add Gaga into it, possibly after the Telephone recording session Beyonce was like "yeah, I guess i'll add you into my song for a verse"

But Telephone, which is apparently the 2nd single? ( I could be mislead ) is another awesome dance hit, similar to Pokerface, though with phone noises instead of Muh muh muh muh. You'll be nodding you head along in no time and agreeing loudly that Yes, while i'm out dancing I'm not going to answer my phone because I'm too busy dancing.

So Happy I Could Die is, well, nice. But it's also indirectly about having a good time...alone...
if you know what I mean. As a ballady track it is nice, but it's sorta like hearing Pink's Fingers at the end of the album. You're like "Oh....OH?...Aww" cos you don't really want/need to hear a track like that. Good try though.

And finally, Teeth, it's a rock em sock em stomping tune when apparently mishead leads people to think she asking them to "show me your tits"...but of course, she isn't.
It reminds me of the dirty sounding songs off Madonna's Erotica. You know they're supposed to be dirty, but they're not really, just the beats and instruments make it sound scratchy and nasty and sticky. It's still an awesome song though. It makes you want to stomp around the backyard with a stick like that old film clip...I forgot who sang it...

So, yeah, do yourself a favour and if you like Lady Gaga
( chances are you'd already own it ) but if you just happened to like Just Dance/Poker Face/Paparazzi, then you'll love The Fame Monster.

Grab the Double CD if you can cos they've chucked on a couple of international tracks that weren't on The Fame last time. So that's a plus.

Oh, here's the tracklist again in case you were wondering.

Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster. Totally get it.

PS. if you're going to the Monster Ball in Sydney or Yokohama we'll totally see you there!

1. "Bad Romance" Lady Gaga, RedOne 4:55
2. "Alejandro" Lady Gaga, RedOne 4:34
3. "Monster" Lady Gaga, RedOne, Space Cowboy 4:09
4. "Speechless" Lady Gaga, Ron Fair 4:30
5. "Dance in the Dark" Lady Gaga, Fernando Garibay 4:48
6. "Telephone" (featuring Beyoncé) Lady Gaga, Rodney Jerkins, LaShawn Daniels, Lazonate Franklin, Beyoncé Knowles 3:40
7. "So Happy I Could Die" Lady Gaga, RedOne, Space Cowboy 3:55
8. "Teeth"
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Um, still to this day I wake up randomly at about 3ish thinking there is something in my room, watching over me...

Until I worked out that when my neck sits a certain way on my pillow,
it blocks the blood to my brain and either wakes me up/makes me think there's something in my room watching over me.

Paranormal Activity doesn't help my situation either.

This is the freakiest movie I have seen in ages,
really since The Ring. When was that?...2002!

It's taken 7 years for me to be geniunely freaked out in a cinema.

Though the Ring was more like "um, what the hell? Oooh she's coming out of the TV"
Paranormal Activity is more like "what if you woke up to this?"

Basically, it's the primal fear of helplessness.
It's all down to not knowing what goes on while you sleep.

Literally, I mean, can you imagine?

Like, say, your Nightmare Before Christmas Bobbleheads came to life & re-enacted scenes from the film while you slept.

See, that's alright. Everyone can enjoy waking up to that.

<<SPOILER ALERT!!>>

But imagine waking up to screams of your man/ladyfriend as she's dragged out of the room by an invisible force?

Or even if you blinked slightly and saw him/her standing over your bed,
and when watching over footage noticing that it was for a good two hours.
Oooh, it's creepy.

It's true, all the good creepy stuff doesn't happen till the end, but the build up is awesome, and soon you'll be convinced you've been followed by a Demon since childhood.

At least for the first few nights.

Go see it, then tell all your friends to go see it, and then all sit around giggling at how creeped out it made you feel.

I've maintained that this is the best horror movie of my 20s.
Nightmare On Elm Street was for my before 10s I guess.

I saw Nightmare On Elm Street when I was 6 and I thought for about a year that Freddy
was going to come out of the wall and kill me.

At 15, 16 I'm pretty sure Scream 2 was all the rage,
though I didn't really think that Ghostface would be coming after me.

And now in my 20s, nothing has really concerned me since this movie.
Sure, The Ring was memorable but I reminded me more of an arty Bjork filmclip.

Paranormal Activity just disturbed me.

But in a totally good way.

Go see it now!





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So why not start with the gayest album release so far this year?

( arguably, the gayest will be Donna Summers in late July...)

Madonna's fresh new 50th birthday celebration album, HARD CANDY, is sexy, sassy
and dripping with tasty attitude.

Back in November of last year, the title track Candy Shop leaked onto the net.

"Horrible!" cried one.
"What was Madonna thinking!?" cried another.
"I don't own the internet!" cried a passer-by.

Yes, Candy Shop was a bit "...ummm" on first listen,
but the chilled out RnB beats that Pharrell supplied was really just the beginning.

See, back in 2007, it was all about Timbaland's Way I Are, in fact, Timbaland in general.
So hearing Madge with a spot of Timbalandish beats, thanks to Pharrell, was really an eye opener.

That was before "The Beat Goes On" demo leaked.

"What the hell are those lyrics?" resounded this time.

Though the song itself had an awesome overall sound, the lyrics were crap and people started to worry just what Madge was on. What was going to happen to this long awaited follow up to sexy old Confessions?

HARD CANDY is an awesome album.
And i'm not saying that because i'm gay and love Madonna.

Actual not gay friends of mine have commented that they loved 4 Minutes when they heard it on the radio, they love to prance around the room to Give It 2 Me and bump n grind to The "new" Beat Goes On.

Yes, Madonna is back.

Sure, maybe, the opening track Candy Shop is skip worthy, once "out of nowhere" hit
4 Minutes starts up and leads into Give It 2 Me, you'll be mum-clapping along to the album in no time.

Personally, i only don't like 3 songs on the whole album, and thankfully two of them are one after the another.

They are She's Not Me, Incredible and Spanish Lesson.
Though Ring My Bell is the Japanese bonus track, I still don't mind it.

She's Not Me is some unnecessarily whining song about some girl that isn't Madonna.
Last I checked, Madonna was happily married with 3 kids.
I haven't read in my local sad rag that some trollop has been trying to steal Guy away and interrupt her family life, so why is this song even on here?
Maybe back in the ole Sean Penn days it would have made sense.
But the minute I hear this song I think, Why? and Shut Up, You're Fine.

Incredible, there's just something about it. It's not Incredible by any means.
Spanish Lesson is just patronising, both to Spanish people and the general listening public.

Every other song on the album is fantastic.

The Devil Wouldn't Recognise You & Voices are trendy experimental ballads that really give the end of the album a come-down feel. See, you're dancing and up and about at the start, then later on you settle down for a nice nap.

Now the Hard Candy Deluxe edition ( freshly imported from the US ) comes with 2 horribly crap remixes of 4 Minutes and little else, other than boiled lollies.

The Japanese release comes with the bonus track Ring My Bell, plus an insert with a super kawaii Japanese website link that has fun Madonna stuff on it, but nothing interesting.

Finally, there's an LP release ( that for some reason keeps getting delayed in the US )
but it really just has remixes anyways so they won't affect the album.

Overall, if you like 4 Minutes, you'll love the rest of the album.
It's classic Madge.
It takes elements of trendiness from Confessions, mixes it with Like A Prayer-ish clap along 90's fun to the Bedtime Stories weird ballads that are funky n fresh.

So totally go out and buy your copy of Hard Candy today.

The track listing, if you're interested, is below....

1. Candy Shop ( Pharrell is in it...he's fun )
2. 4 Minutes ( with sexy Justin )
3. Give It 2 Me ( Yeah! No one's gonna stop me....NOW!...the next single. Hot! )
4. Heartbeat
5. Miles Away
6. She's Not Me ( who isn't? the song is non-sensical! )
7. Incredible ( though it actually isn't )
8. Beat Goes On ( feat Kanye and totally awesome )
9. Dance 2 Night ( with sexy Justin again )
10. Spanish Lesson ( no thanks )
11. Devil Wouldn't Recognise You ( sounds like Cry Me A River )
12. Voices ( a surreal, and awesome end )
13. Ring My Bell - Japanese Bonus ( not the best song, but hey )
14. 4 Minutes - Deluxe Bonus ( Tracy Young House Edit )
15. 4 Minutes - Deluxe Bonus ( Rebirth Remix )
16. Give It 2 Me - iTunes Bonus ( Paul Oakenfold Mix...awesome mix btw )

my LazyPug gives it 9 Wuffs Out of 10!




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