A Professional Job
January 9th 2009 00:44
Attending interviews for a sales and marketing position. I’ll use an anagram for the company, ‘Umulisp Marketing’ was the worst.
They make interviewees wear business attire and tell you that your resume is impressive over the phone and would you like to come in for an interview? Now your ego is doing head spins you think you’re top shit because they are the first to reply to all the outgoing resumes you can’t remember sending.
You think to yourself ‘Emulisp’ Marketing’ which ad was that about? And pretend over the phone you know exactly what the secretary is talking about, yeah you can be there the next day at 10am.
The location is: let’s say east side which is pretty posh nosh when you come from the ghetto west side. That night you rifle through your wardrobe hoping to find something that makes you look ‘professional’ after about 30 minutes you have chosen your outfit. Consult the nearest adult; (your teenage sister) at 15 she thinks she knows everything that’s cool.
She says she read your resume and can see why ‘Emulisp Marketing’ are impressed. You pat yourself on the back mentally but think, of course her opinion doesn’t count she’s never worked a day in her life any resume would look good.
On the day of the first interview you arrive one hour early because punctuality is a something to make you stand out.
The other interviewees are dressed in the typical uniform of white and black with their hair tied back in a pony tail, you see blondes and brunettes. Although one blonde keeps smiling shyly at you from the moment you enter the building till you take your seat and fill out the form.
When it is time for your interview with Bob the middle-aged man, you make smiley faces at him and make yourself seem interested in what he has to say. Then its question time what are your three best qualities? You remember what you wrote down on the sheet five minutes beforehand and rehash the same answers, this time with conviction. Bob likes your answers and says come back for a follow up tomorrow at 7.45am!
That afternoon you head to the nearest Target store and get good office wear pieces that are affordable. Inside your wishing you could shop at Portman’s but you’re on a budget after all. You have a few fantasies of having some cushy office job. Sigh.
Sleep time. You have a strange dream about being in someone’s house and raiding their DVD collection with their approval of course.
The alarm wakes you up bright and early at 4.45am, you take a quick four minute shower to save water and time.
You live on the Westside getting to the east or any other part of town takes you ninety minutes or more considering you don’t have a car and must catch a bus and two trains to get to your destination.
There’s a form to fill out, they make you wait in the lobby for 20 minutes while they get their act together. You wonder why they haven’t fully explained what is going to happen during Round 2 interviews. It seems a bit fishy but your still keen and stay anyway.
The team leader tells you its observation day and you hop into a car with three other people and find out about the product they are selling. It’s going to be outdoors at a random car park getting punters to buy cleaning products. They start to talk about the items, telling you it’s the best available on the market and its not sold in stores that’s why it’s more exclusive.
The thought of harassing innocent people at a shopping centre car park when they are with their children isn’t appealing. They totally screwed you over by not detailing what was to be expected for the day to top it off the pay is commission based and the training you’re receiving for the day will not be reimbursed! Plus it’s cold and windy outside and you’re still pretending to be interested when you follow around the team leader while they hassle some sales.
Four hours later at 12pm you’re told that the team leader will drop you off at a north-east location and you must make your way back into the inner city to the ‘Emulisp Marketing’ office by train.
As you walk onto the platform you miss the train and have to wait another 15 minutes. Bodily symptoms of a mild fever from staying outdoors are making themselves known. Great, you don’t even get paid and have the beginnings of a cold. The journey back to the city is forty minutes in total.
On the train you are sleep deprived from waking up so early, the whole time you wanted to leave those people in the parking lot with their products but you don’t have an escape plan. Plus you don’t know the area well at all. You must make a decision before you get into the office.
‘Emulisp Marketing’ is still there and a surprise there’s another form to fill out. Question 1: Do you feel you are motivated enough for this type of job?
Question 2: Are you aware that selling products is a numbers game the more people you approach the more chances for sales. Do you agree with this statement?
No you're not inspired to sell people things at car parks. In your current job you do normal retail stuff in a store where the customers seek me out and want my services. Instead I had to watch as these sales people stalked customers in a car park like hungry birds finding crumbs. You don’t know who is worser off the marketing people who make a living by commission from sales or the poor suckers that buy the products from them.
You told Bob, thanks but no thanks. He looked so disappointed and said that most team leaders made between $800 - $1,000 dollars a week. He’s gotta be kidding himself! I was out there that day it was really ‘slow’ slim pickings. Some interest here and there from customers but not enough to make that sort of cash. To think I was considering a career in sales!
The crazy thing is these jobs don’t give information in the advertisement and when you get there at the interview it’s more hazy. If you had known the truth about how they ran their businesses you would walk the opposite direction. I did that but rather slowly onto the next available west side train.
You think you'll take up that other Sales and Marketing job from another company which pays for four weeks training totaling $1200 cash with no obligations and a straight up explanation. This time it’s another form of customer torture D2D which is door to door knocking on people’s comfort level; their home. Gulp.
Your going to take the training money and get to the nearest store to buy a lap top and search for that office job wherever you are! This time your extremely motivated to get there.
Lesson learned folks!
They make interviewees wear business attire and tell you that your resume is impressive over the phone and would you like to come in for an interview? Now your ego is doing head spins you think you’re top shit because they are the first to reply to all the outgoing resumes you can’t remember sending.
You think to yourself ‘Emulisp’ Marketing’ which ad was that about? And pretend over the phone you know exactly what the secretary is talking about, yeah you can be there the next day at 10am.
The location is: let’s say east side which is pretty posh nosh when you come from the ghetto west side. That night you rifle through your wardrobe hoping to find something that makes you look ‘professional’ after about 30 minutes you have chosen your outfit. Consult the nearest adult; (your teenage sister) at 15 she thinks she knows everything that’s cool.
She says she read your resume and can see why ‘Emulisp Marketing’ are impressed. You pat yourself on the back mentally but think, of course her opinion doesn’t count she’s never worked a day in her life any resume would look good.
On the day of the first interview you arrive one hour early because punctuality is a something to make you stand out.
The other interviewees are dressed in the typical uniform of white and black with their hair tied back in a pony tail, you see blondes and brunettes. Although one blonde keeps smiling shyly at you from the moment you enter the building till you take your seat and fill out the form.
When it is time for your interview with Bob the middle-aged man, you make smiley faces at him and make yourself seem interested in what he has to say. Then its question time what are your three best qualities? You remember what you wrote down on the sheet five minutes beforehand and rehash the same answers, this time with conviction. Bob likes your answers and says come back for a follow up tomorrow at 7.45am!
That afternoon you head to the nearest Target store and get good office wear pieces that are affordable. Inside your wishing you could shop at Portman’s but you’re on a budget after all. You have a few fantasies of having some cushy office job. Sigh.
Sleep time. You have a strange dream about being in someone’s house and raiding their DVD collection with their approval of course.
The alarm wakes you up bright and early at 4.45am, you take a quick four minute shower to save water and time.
You live on the Westside getting to the east or any other part of town takes you ninety minutes or more considering you don’t have a car and must catch a bus and two trains to get to your destination.
There’s a form to fill out, they make you wait in the lobby for 20 minutes while they get their act together. You wonder why they haven’t fully explained what is going to happen during Round 2 interviews. It seems a bit fishy but your still keen and stay anyway.
The team leader tells you its observation day and you hop into a car with three other people and find out about the product they are selling. It’s going to be outdoors at a random car park getting punters to buy cleaning products. They start to talk about the items, telling you it’s the best available on the market and its not sold in stores that’s why it’s more exclusive.
The thought of harassing innocent people at a shopping centre car park when they are with their children isn’t appealing. They totally screwed you over by not detailing what was to be expected for the day to top it off the pay is commission based and the training you’re receiving for the day will not be reimbursed! Plus it’s cold and windy outside and you’re still pretending to be interested when you follow around the team leader while they hassle some sales.
Four hours later at 12pm you’re told that the team leader will drop you off at a north-east location and you must make your way back into the inner city to the ‘Emulisp Marketing’ office by train.
As you walk onto the platform you miss the train and have to wait another 15 minutes. Bodily symptoms of a mild fever from staying outdoors are making themselves known. Great, you don’t even get paid and have the beginnings of a cold. The journey back to the city is forty minutes in total.
On the train you are sleep deprived from waking up so early, the whole time you wanted to leave those people in the parking lot with their products but you don’t have an escape plan. Plus you don’t know the area well at all. You must make a decision before you get into the office.
‘Emulisp Marketing’ is still there and a surprise there’s another form to fill out. Question 1: Do you feel you are motivated enough for this type of job?
Question 2: Are you aware that selling products is a numbers game the more people you approach the more chances for sales. Do you agree with this statement?
No you're not inspired to sell people things at car parks. In your current job you do normal retail stuff in a store where the customers seek me out and want my services. Instead I had to watch as these sales people stalked customers in a car park like hungry birds finding crumbs. You don’t know who is worser off the marketing people who make a living by commission from sales or the poor suckers that buy the products from them.
You told Bob, thanks but no thanks. He looked so disappointed and said that most team leaders made between $800 - $1,000 dollars a week. He’s gotta be kidding himself! I was out there that day it was really ‘slow’ slim pickings. Some interest here and there from customers but not enough to make that sort of cash. To think I was considering a career in sales!
The crazy thing is these jobs don’t give information in the advertisement and when you get there at the interview it’s more hazy. If you had known the truth about how they ran their businesses you would walk the opposite direction. I did that but rather slowly onto the next available west side train.
You think you'll take up that other Sales and Marketing job from another company which pays for four weeks training totaling $1200 cash with no obligations and a straight up explanation. This time it’s another form of customer torture D2D which is door to door knocking on people’s comfort level; their home. Gulp.
Your going to take the training money and get to the nearest store to buy a lap top and search for that office job wherever you are! This time your extremely motivated to get there.
Lesson learned folks!
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Comment by GlenB
Raw Fish
I was invited to try out for a job, but the boss was in a hurry and vague on the phone.
When I attended in uniform for a tryout, they tried to hussle me into the workplace but I said no.
"Wait a minute, I have a few questions to ask."
The supervisor looked put out but fetched a manager. I asked him what the pay rate was and he told me $17 p/h.
I told him he was wasting my time and if i had known that I wouldn't have agreed to a try out.
He told me I should have asked on the phone.
I voted with my feet.
Comment by Teresa Ralton
MRS SMITH
READ THIS
SISTERS IN CRIME