A message from the emo in me. sorry
June 23rd 2007 13:55
WARNING. DEPRESSING POST AHEAD. DONT WANNA HEAR MY PROBLEMS? CLOSE THE BLOG THEN
So here I am, in the process of taking a good hard look at my life. Lets look at friends eh?
Well I don't have many and tell people that I am a loner by choice cos I aint that good a friend.
What I really wanna say is I want more friends. But I cannot do it.
I have the grand total of maybe 6 people I call actual friends and they aint exactly the close friends a girl really needs at times.
Take a look and judge for yourself
Friend 1: Kimmy: I went to school with her and she is maybe the closest friend I have. Yet I barely see her cos she spends time with her friend with benefits and basically lives there. We like totally different things.
Friend 2: Bimmie: I have known her a year but again we barely speak. I don't even have her cell number. How bad is that?
Friend 3: Stu: I met him through my BF, I dont know him that well but we get on.
Friend 4: Lesley: I have known her since I was about 5 so she is the one I have known the longest. But again we barely speak. Mainly if we bump into each other we just say HI.
Friend 5: Garreth. Well I say friend. He was when I was 16. Then we lost contact for 7 years and we only just got back in touch. Lots has changed in that time and we gotta get to know each other again.
Friend 6: Eddy: He lives in Scotland. Great to chat to on MSN but too far away if I need a shoulder to cry on.
So as you see, not too good a bunch.
And so, I get myself into such a state when I look at my friends that the emo in me comes out. Dont panic!!!!!! I aint a cutter. I love my life usually. I have a beautiful daughter, great fiance and lovely family. But sometimes people need a friend.
I dont have a best friend. I've had them but I dont have one now. I dont think I ever will.
The best friend I ever had was Sam.
You see if I get close to a friend I lose them somehow. I dunno why but I do.
So here I am, in the process of taking a good hard look at my life. Lets look at friends eh?
Well I don't have many and tell people that I am a loner by choice cos I aint that good a friend.
What I really wanna say is I want more friends. But I cannot do it.
I have the grand total of maybe 6 people I call actual friends and they aint exactly the close friends a girl really needs at times.
Take a look and judge for yourself
Friend 1: Kimmy: I went to school with her and she is maybe the closest friend I have. Yet I barely see her cos she spends time with her friend with benefits and basically lives there. We like totally different things.
Friend 2: Bimmie: I have known her a year but again we barely speak. I don't even have her cell number. How bad is that?
Friend 3: Stu: I met him through my BF, I dont know him that well but we get on.
Friend 4: Lesley: I have known her since I was about 5 so she is the one I have known the longest. But again we barely speak. Mainly if we bump into each other we just say HI.
Friend 5: Garreth. Well I say friend. He was when I was 16. Then we lost contact for 7 years and we only just got back in touch. Lots has changed in that time and we gotta get to know each other again.
Friend 6: Eddy: He lives in Scotland. Great to chat to on MSN but too far away if I need a shoulder to cry on.
So as you see, not too good a bunch.
And so, I get myself into such a state when I look at my friends that the emo in me comes out. Dont panic!!!!!! I aint a cutter. I love my life usually. I have a beautiful daughter, great fiance and lovely family. But sometimes people need a friend.
I dont have a best friend. I've had them but I dont have one now. I dont think I ever will.
The best friend I ever had was Sam.
You see if I get close to a friend I lose them somehow. I dunno why but I do.
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