A Fall into Blue
September 4th 2010 15:40
Eyes of ocean, blue and green, shades of sliding colour that washed over me and draw me in when I met Eathan, that moment when he turned his head and those eyes fell on me in greeting and then.. the slow easy dawning of his smile which was like the brilliant white beach that fringed the sea in some faraway paradise.
It was almost a sense of serendipity, meeting Eathan. I was a lonely, bored housewife, married for any number of years to a man who was no longer interested and with two teenage girls who had long gained their independence and were living their life as nature had planned, glorious in their youth and beauty, with the world at their command. I had been loitering on a social/adult dating site, flirting with unfaced men, drinking in their compliments, holding at bay my age and sense of dwindling self worth through the artifice and palaver that held court in such venues.
He contacted me via a simple two line message. Maybe it was the sparseness of those two lines, pristine in an environment of over the top verbosity, some clarity that caught my eye in a bewildering bombardment of messages from would be lovers and lotharios, whatever it was - it drew me in and led me to follow up on his invitation to chat. We exchanged msn addresses and traded a few pleasantries but more important to this, we opened our cams. Attraction - can it be felt over the technological genius which gives us the internet. Let me tell you YES, YES...a thousand times yes. I can't tell you what it was, because after meeting Eathan in person, I knew it to be a poor facsimile of the real deal but seeing him on cam for the first time, I felt immediately drawn to his person, I felt for the first time in a long time, that tingle of delicious desire, that feeling of wild abandon where every tenet of the good wife is thrown out the window and the she-wolf of carnality roamed without limitation.
We arranged to meet, a coffee. He told me he would be quiet and how he felt nervous at the prospect. He told me he was in a relationship of a few years but that it lacked any spark of sexual adventure. I told him of my marriage and how, after some many years of my husbands dwindling sexual ability, I was almost desperate, to feel the virility of a man who desired me in more than my capacity of wife and mother. We were like two bits of a jigsaw, he from a brand new shiny reprint, me from the older, original version but both fitting unerringly together to bear out the picture of frustrated passion.
And so it was, I came to swim in those eyes of swirling, ocean colours. So it was, I came to be engulfed in the brightness of that smile. We met and I felt I had found an old soul, one I had known forever, Our conversation ebbed and flowed like the effortless tide of the warmest sea. Our joy and laughter bubbled forth like the froth of an expensive champagne, sending our spirits higher than a fourth of July firecracker on the sultriness of a New York summers eve. We found ourselves walking the back streets near the cafe where we had been. My hand of it's own volition, snaked it's way into Eathan's, nestled there encompassed by his own. We stopped under the shade of a big sprawling gum tree and it was there, our lips first met, a kiss full of promise and forbidden desire. An avalanche set in motion or so it seemed to me, which would pitch us both forward into new and exciting possibilities - if only we took the chance. I knew the wild beating of own heart, the secret longings I held but of Eathan's, I knew not what. I left him, then, he to return to his world and me, to mine. I held that kiss and the moment in time we had shared, close to my heart - whether to be acted upon or not, I at that moment could not know but nothing could take from me, that shining memory of perfection we had shared, me and my beautiful ocean eyed boy.
It was almost a sense of serendipity, meeting Eathan. I was a lonely, bored housewife, married for any number of years to a man who was no longer interested and with two teenage girls who had long gained their independence and were living their life as nature had planned, glorious in their youth and beauty, with the world at their command. I had been loitering on a social/adult dating site, flirting with unfaced men, drinking in their compliments, holding at bay my age and sense of dwindling self worth through the artifice and palaver that held court in such venues.
He contacted me via a simple two line message. Maybe it was the sparseness of those two lines, pristine in an environment of over the top verbosity, some clarity that caught my eye in a bewildering bombardment of messages from would be lovers and lotharios, whatever it was - it drew me in and led me to follow up on his invitation to chat. We exchanged msn addresses and traded a few pleasantries but more important to this, we opened our cams. Attraction - can it be felt over the technological genius which gives us the internet. Let me tell you YES, YES...a thousand times yes. I can't tell you what it was, because after meeting Eathan in person, I knew it to be a poor facsimile of the real deal but seeing him on cam for the first time, I felt immediately drawn to his person, I felt for the first time in a long time, that tingle of delicious desire, that feeling of wild abandon where every tenet of the good wife is thrown out the window and the she-wolf of carnality roamed without limitation.
We arranged to meet, a coffee. He told me he would be quiet and how he felt nervous at the prospect. He told me he was in a relationship of a few years but that it lacked any spark of sexual adventure. I told him of my marriage and how, after some many years of my husbands dwindling sexual ability, I was almost desperate, to feel the virility of a man who desired me in more than my capacity of wife and mother. We were like two bits of a jigsaw, he from a brand new shiny reprint, me from the older, original version but both fitting unerringly together to bear out the picture of frustrated passion.
And so it was, I came to swim in those eyes of swirling, ocean colours. So it was, I came to be engulfed in the brightness of that smile. We met and I felt I had found an old soul, one I had known forever, Our conversation ebbed and flowed like the effortless tide of the warmest sea. Our joy and laughter bubbled forth like the froth of an expensive champagne, sending our spirits higher than a fourth of July firecracker on the sultriness of a New York summers eve. We found ourselves walking the back streets near the cafe where we had been. My hand of it's own volition, snaked it's way into Eathan's, nestled there encompassed by his own. We stopped under the shade of a big sprawling gum tree and it was there, our lips first met, a kiss full of promise and forbidden desire. An avalanche set in motion or so it seemed to me, which would pitch us both forward into new and exciting possibilities - if only we took the chance. I knew the wild beating of own heart, the secret longings I held but of Eathan's, I knew not what. I left him, then, he to return to his world and me, to mine. I held that kiss and the moment in time we had shared, close to my heart - whether to be acted upon or not, I at that moment could not know but nothing could take from me, that shining memory of perfection we had shared, me and my beautiful ocean eyed boy.
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