3 Boys, the F-word & Me
January 24th 2012 22:05
Here is a little narrative that gives an insight into how society has changed.
There are three boys in the kitchen and me. That is, if you can you call a thirty-year-old dishwasher, a twenty-eight year old raver, and an egomaniac of twenty-three boys. Mitch is flipping through the paper. He stops when he reaches the star signs, and carefully rolls a smoke. It’s Friday afternoon, I’ve already wasted the day and I don’t want to hear my horoscope. But sure enough when my turn comes, I tune in anyway because I haven’t anything better to do.
Josh is a Piscean, and he often comes out with pearls of wisdom that are suitably fishy. Today is a good day for love and romance in the realm of Pisces. Josh guffaws at this forecast. He’s over women who refuse to commit. “Everything women used to complain about men, they now are themselves,” he muses.
The others agree. “Women are too demanding,” Josh adds. “It’s natural for those that have been oppressed to want to oppress back the oppressors and women are doing it now.”
The “f word” is mentioned. Mitch’s ex-girlfriend was quite the feminist, hence he helped her organise rallies about the GST on tampons.
James slyly comments that his housemate Becky had majored in Women’s Studies at university. According to Becky, a society under patriarchal rule was conditioned to view heterosexual sex as something that is done to women, that is, men penetrate and women are penetrated. Instead, women should look at sex as “engulfing” a man, not something that is done to them. James thinks this notion is ridiculous. “I don’t like a woman on top,” he explains. I roll my eyes, placating my outrage by remembering that James is the sort of wanker that takes his shirt off when a girl walks in the room, even if it is only five degrees.
Josh thinks feminism is unfair. “We need a men’s movement,” he says. “Where we get back from being treated like doormats.”
Mitch volunteers that women still have a lesser stake in power. “Of course, most companies are still controlled by men,” Josh concedes. “And even some male-dominated cultures have had female heads of state and we haven’t, which says something.”
Mitch had read that women’s participation in the workforce hasn’t changed over the last thirty years. James disagrees. “Women have come a long way.”
“But I don’t believe the power of the patriarchy can be transformed in one generation,” protests Mitch.
“No, I’m not saying that,” says James, lining a rollie paper with tobacco. “But women are getting heaps of stuff these days. I think they’re treated very well.”
“We need a men’s movement,” rants Josh.
I mention that there is one; I saw a guy on a daytime talk show wearing a skirt, who takes “feminised” men on father and son bonding trips in the woods.
“I don’t mean going to the bush and beating drums,” says Josh. “No one wants to commit to a relationship anymore.”
“Don’t base all relationships on your personal experiences,” I say, referring to his most recent heartbreak.
“What else am I supposed to base my opinion on but my personal experiences?” he says, pushing the overcrowded ashtray to the smokers’ side of the table in disgust. “I’m not that naïve anymore. Maybe women are all good and I’ve been meeting the bad ones,” he snaps. “That’s just dumb.”
“I still think women get the raw deal,” quips Mitch. “And I think female politicians are sharper. They have a much better idea on how to run the world.”
“Hello, Margaret Thatcher!” I throw out. “Or Megawati Sukarnaputri? What did she achieve?”
“I don’t think female politicians are any better,” says James. “Of course with the tax on tampons there shouldn’t be one on toilet paper or men’s razors either.”
“But being taxed on top of the natural burden,” sighs Mitch, drawing back on yet another ciggie. I can’t help myself, I snort, puh-lease, women are way over this one.
“You know, I don’t think men and women will ever be equal until they are physically the same strength,” Josh says, into the smoke Mitch has just exhaled.
“Okay, Philosopher Josh,” I say. “If feminism has resulted in a bunch of guys talking about it, doesn’t that mean it’s a success?”
They all look at me as if I’m stupid. ‘We’re having an open, honest, mature discussion,” says Mitch. “Gender has nothing to do with it.”
There are three boys in the kitchen and me. That is, if you can you call a thirty-year-old dishwasher, a twenty-eight year old raver, and an egomaniac of twenty-three boys. Mitch is flipping through the paper. He stops when he reaches the star signs, and carefully rolls a smoke. It’s Friday afternoon, I’ve already wasted the day and I don’t want to hear my horoscope. But sure enough when my turn comes, I tune in anyway because I haven’t anything better to do.
Josh is a Piscean, and he often comes out with pearls of wisdom that are suitably fishy. Today is a good day for love and romance in the realm of Pisces. Josh guffaws at this forecast. He’s over women who refuse to commit. “Everything women used to complain about men, they now are themselves,” he muses.
The others agree. “Women are too demanding,” Josh adds. “It’s natural for those that have been oppressed to want to oppress back the oppressors and women are doing it now.”
The “f word” is mentioned. Mitch’s ex-girlfriend was quite the feminist, hence he helped her organise rallies about the GST on tampons.
James slyly comments that his housemate Becky had majored in Women’s Studies at university. According to Becky, a society under patriarchal rule was conditioned to view heterosexual sex as something that is done to women, that is, men penetrate and women are penetrated. Instead, women should look at sex as “engulfing” a man, not something that is done to them. James thinks this notion is ridiculous. “I don’t like a woman on top,” he explains. I roll my eyes, placating my outrage by remembering that James is the sort of wanker that takes his shirt off when a girl walks in the room, even if it is only five degrees.
Josh thinks feminism is unfair. “We need a men’s movement,” he says. “Where we get back from being treated like doormats.”
Mitch volunteers that women still have a lesser stake in power. “Of course, most companies are still controlled by men,” Josh concedes. “And even some male-dominated cultures have had female heads of state and we haven’t, which says something.”
Mitch had read that women’s participation in the workforce hasn’t changed over the last thirty years. James disagrees. “Women have come a long way.”
“But I don’t believe the power of the patriarchy can be transformed in one generation,” protests Mitch.
“No, I’m not saying that,” says James, lining a rollie paper with tobacco. “But women are getting heaps of stuff these days. I think they’re treated very well.”
“We need a men’s movement,” rants Josh.
I mention that there is one; I saw a guy on a daytime talk show wearing a skirt, who takes “feminised” men on father and son bonding trips in the woods.
“I don’t mean going to the bush and beating drums,” says Josh. “No one wants to commit to a relationship anymore.”
“Don’t base all relationships on your personal experiences,” I say, referring to his most recent heartbreak.
“What else am I supposed to base my opinion on but my personal experiences?” he says, pushing the overcrowded ashtray to the smokers’ side of the table in disgust. “I’m not that naïve anymore. Maybe women are all good and I’ve been meeting the bad ones,” he snaps. “That’s just dumb.”
“I still think women get the raw deal,” quips Mitch. “And I think female politicians are sharper. They have a much better idea on how to run the world.”
“Hello, Margaret Thatcher!” I throw out. “Or Megawati Sukarnaputri? What did she achieve?”
“I don’t think female politicians are any better,” says James. “Of course with the tax on tampons there shouldn’t be one on toilet paper or men’s razors either.”
“But being taxed on top of the natural burden,” sighs Mitch, drawing back on yet another ciggie. I can’t help myself, I snort, puh-lease, women are way over this one.
“You know, I don’t think men and women will ever be equal until they are physically the same strength,” Josh says, into the smoke Mitch has just exhaled.
“Okay, Philosopher Josh,” I say. “If feminism has resulted in a bunch of guys talking about it, doesn’t that mean it’s a success?”
They all look at me as if I’m stupid. ‘We’re having an open, honest, mature discussion,” says Mitch. “Gender has nothing to do with it.”
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