20th January 2007
January 20th 2007 01:32
Highs and lows over the last few days. It seems every year, my husband - Mr Ambitious, and I claim "this will be the year that everything runs smoothly. No dramas, no huge life changes" and it seems every year we have a huge life change and/or drama within the first month! This year was has been no exception.
Last week both Mr Ambitious and I were offered full time roles that were great jobs with pretty good pay for our experience levels. There was a moment where niavely I thought "great! Our careers are off!" and somehow thought we could both accept the jobs. I didnt even think about the $600 a week we'd have to pay on child care! I was quickly slammed by my appalled man who in the heat of argument told me my feelings didn't matter and the reality is that I can't take the job and need to just wake up to reality. there were tears, pillows thrown across the room, silences, and a double marital bed that suddenly seemed to have a distance in the middle to rival the Gobi desert. I did everything domesticly and did everything for the kids in those few days, assuming that was it in terms o my career. Obviosuly his career is what our family are working towards, and if that means I have no career whatsoever than so be it, because even if I reach senior level in my industry, I will never earn as much as he would.
Goodbye dreams. Hello resentment and bitterness.
but not to be. Mr Ambitious had a think about my point of view and realised what a great opportunity I was been given. And that the longer my career is on hold means the longer that I will be taking 35k per annum jobs and competing against childless 19 year olds in the interviewing process. So began the great debate. Which job should we, as a family, accept. Much debate. Many long hours and finally we got out pen and paper and created a pros and cons list for each job offer. It was so obvious staring at the paper that he should take the job - a job with one of the major TV networks, doing nearly exactly what he wants to do when he finishes his studies. Perhaps this is exactly what Mr Ambitious always knew and felt, and only did the list for my slow benefit. To ease me int the fact that yes, my career will be put on hold for another year because of the unchangeable fact that I carry our child, that I have breasts that create milk, and because my earning power isn't so strong at this moment.
More and more life is really showing me exactly what everyone is talking about when they discuss how hard it is to be a professional woman. From being called 'sweet heart' and 'babydoll' at work, to not ever being able to hide the fact that you are pregnant and just carry on at work, to being called 'the secretary' by your workmates, even though what you actually are is the "PR officer"...
Last week both Mr Ambitious and I were offered full time roles that were great jobs with pretty good pay for our experience levels. There was a moment where niavely I thought "great! Our careers are off!" and somehow thought we could both accept the jobs. I didnt even think about the $600 a week we'd have to pay on child care! I was quickly slammed by my appalled man who in the heat of argument told me my feelings didn't matter and the reality is that I can't take the job and need to just wake up to reality. there were tears, pillows thrown across the room, silences, and a double marital bed that suddenly seemed to have a distance in the middle to rival the Gobi desert. I did everything domesticly and did everything for the kids in those few days, assuming that was it in terms o my career. Obviosuly his career is what our family are working towards, and if that means I have no career whatsoever than so be it, because even if I reach senior level in my industry, I will never earn as much as he would.
Goodbye dreams. Hello resentment and bitterness.
but not to be. Mr Ambitious had a think about my point of view and realised what a great opportunity I was been given. And that the longer my career is on hold means the longer that I will be taking 35k per annum jobs and competing against childless 19 year olds in the interviewing process. So began the great debate. Which job should we, as a family, accept. Much debate. Many long hours and finally we got out pen and paper and created a pros and cons list for each job offer. It was so obvious staring at the paper that he should take the job - a job with one of the major TV networks, doing nearly exactly what he wants to do when he finishes his studies. Perhaps this is exactly what Mr Ambitious always knew and felt, and only did the list for my slow benefit. To ease me int the fact that yes, my career will be put on hold for another year because of the unchangeable fact that I carry our child, that I have breasts that create milk, and because my earning power isn't so strong at this moment.
More and more life is really showing me exactly what everyone is talking about when they discuss how hard it is to be a professional woman. From being called 'sweet heart' and 'babydoll' at work, to not ever being able to hide the fact that you are pregnant and just carry on at work, to being called 'the secretary' by your workmates, even though what you actually are is the "PR officer"...
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
It's a tough one. I quit work 6 years ago now to start our family. I was just on the brink of mega things in my marketing career when it all came down to a screeching halt. At the time, I was the bigger money earner.
Six years on and the tables have reversed. My husband is earning the dollars and although I try to get back into work, I can't make in a day what he makes in a day now. And every cent counts.
To re-enter the work force I would have to take jobs that are a little less (in money and responsibilities) that I have been used to. But there is comfort in knowing that it shouldn't take as long (or has hard, hopefully) to climb back up that ladder
But for now, my husband and I have to get creative on our approach to my career.
My last post asked the question whether mothers can hold down those "big important jobs". Here's the link if you are interested. It's titled Could I Possibly Be Prime Minister?
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Couch Pumpkin
Television the drug of a planet
Mumma Mumma
Thanks for the comment. Your post on the future of australia's PM issue certainly s food for thought.
How far can we take multitasking during motherhood?